Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
1272624 tn?1395434357

BFN today..Embryo Donation

Hi I just had the day from HELL...I'm in need of some real advice...Anyone know about embryo donation?  I don't want this to be the end of my journey because of money...I don't have the money for an egg donor, but what about embryo donation...I know that any baby that is placed in my arms I will love just as if it was my own...I haven't told my DH yet...He says we can try again but I really think that being 44 is just against me...I know I should be positive but in the end its to be a family with my DH...He says he wants it to be His offspring, but don't you think if it comes out of me and he kisses my belly for 9 months that it will be HIS...
Super Sticky Baby Dust to All My Friends....I love you all...I couldn't have gotten through today without you!
Love Melanie
15 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
First off, let me say how sorry I am about the news you received today.  I know how frusterating and disheartening it is!  I wish I was giving you congrats.

Mysty2001 is the person to talk to about embryo adoption : )  that's what she's used.  There is another lady on here... I will have to reseach her name, cause I cannot remember what her name on here is, but she is pregnant from donor embryos also.  I do remember it is a fertility clinic in North Carolina, and they only charge you for the transfer cost.  It sounds like a wonderful program!  I will get back to you on that.

Also, another option is if your hubby open to the embryo odoption (which I find to be wonderful!) is what we are looking into, a refund program with donor eggs through Attain IVF or Shady Grove...  It isn't cheap (about the size of a mid-size car) BUT!  If you don't reach your dream, they give you the $$ back!  Who can beat those odds?!?!?

I did alot of research and leg work before I presented all to my hubby, and was suprised to how quickly he agreed!

xoxo,
Melissa
Helpful - 0
1272624 tn?1395434357
Hi Mel,
  We don't have much money left, we have enough for one ivf cycle or three donor embryo cycles. Not donor eggs...dh can't handle any of it, but really its keeping me sane. RE told me today she's leaving her office and all the woman dr's are starting there own practice, she told me to find her after Sept 15th and she said she'd help me....OMG what 's a woman to do?  Yikes all these options
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
The funny thing about guys??  They often change their minds.  When they see it's the only option, they start being more open to ideas of how to achieve their dreams.   Just remember, he wants a child as badly as you do!  It may take a little time, and a little coaxing, but the bottom line is, he wants a child too! : )   Just remember that!  I am adopted, and I don't think my dad would love me any more if I was his dna!  Keep the faith, and gather information : )
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Here it the place that does embryo donation....NCCRM.com, they only charge you the cost of the transfer.  The embryos are free.  RockNLocker is the person who is using them.
You could look them up on line : )  

xo,
melissa
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry about your bfn.  There is also a place in CA called Nightlight Christian Adoption that offers embryos for adoption. The program is called Snowflakes Frozen Embryo Adoption Program.  
Helpful - 0
631676 tn?1333718203
Sorry about the disappointment and the added challenges of money and moving doctors. But I am moving on to the next stage too - whatever it is. What is that quote about insanity ??? "Doing things the same way and expecting a different outcome". Well after 3 MCs and 9 IUIs I think I know who is insane :)

Keep us all posted as to what you find out. Hang in there.
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
I actually checked out the Snowflakes Frozen Embryo Adoption program... it is very expensive!  I was suprised at how much it costs through them.  And they make you do in-home studies ect and the place in No Carolnia doesnt, and is much less expensive.  Just an FYI.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Embryo Donation International/Specialist in Reproductive Medicine has a great donor program. No cost for the embryos, just the cost of transfer and any needed testing, some of which you may have already had that would not need to be done again.
Helpful - 0
1328473 tn?1335874467
If you need any info on NCCRM, let me know.  I am a patient.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I had no idea it was more expensive than other programs. I wonder why?  I just read about it in a fertility book A Few Good Eggs--although they were talking about it more as a place to donate your embryos in case you have extra.
Thanks for the info : )
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Your welcome! : )  I looked into it and it was a shock to me on the cost!  I can't remember the total cost, but I do know it was over 12,000! maybe 18,000 or so????... it shocked me!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
did you look into a split cycle?
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Yep, that is  great idea too!  1 donor split 2 or 3 ways.... much more affordable!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I understand husbands love us a lot but there is a point in which you have to say NO!!! You are 44 and it will be almost impossible to have a baby with your eggs. The egg donor or even embryo adoption is the way to do it. Just tell your husband: "OK I need you to be a brain surgeon by TOMORROW" He can't do that right! WELL, Your eggs can't produce a healthy child either, the odds are very slim, you know what I mean. It is not fair to ask you to continue hurting yourself like this.
I am 41 and had 4 failed IVF with my eggs and then I got pregnant naturally and last Friday, on my 7 week ultrasound the baby was there and NO HEARTBEAT,,, you can imagine the kind of weekend I'm having. But I have to trust that there is a reason for this baby to stop growing, a protective reason that God only knows... otherwise I will go crazy. I have a donor girl, but she was away this summer and I magically got pregnant. Now I'm just waiting for the miscarriage to happen or  do a D&C. in a week or so. I have a last ultrasound next Friday just to be 100% convinced of my bad luck :( and then I will schedule the D&C (which is the "abortion vacuum" horrible thing they do)

I wish you the BEST LUCK
husband come a long way and he will love that baby no matter how/where he/she comes from!!!
There is a lady in this forum that has had three kids from embryo adoptions. She swears by it:)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The lady that have done several embryo adoption is Mysty2001. She did it in NJ.

Good luck
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Fertility and Trying to Conceive Community

Top Trying to Conceive Answerers
5875562 tn?1410898886
miami, FL
4769306 tn?1568490209
NC
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Many couples are turning to acupuncture to treat infertility. But does it work? We take a closer look.
Does exercise really lower fertility? We take a look at 8 common myths about fertility.
Your guide to safely exercising throughout your 40 weeks.
Learn which foods aren't safe to eat when you're eating for two.
Is your biological clock sounding the alarm? Dr. Elaine Brown explains new advances in egg freezing.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.