Brownish discharged ended up being everything :(

[YvetteY]

I said the brownish discharge could be nothing or everyhing.  As it turns it it's everything.   Last night I got a pretty dark brown discharge and this morning about 4:30 I woke you to go to the bathroom and it was red when I wiped and a lot.  

So I am miscarrying.   Last night I only woke up once at 4:30 , BBs are not sore, and I wasn't tired at 8:00 PM.   So my pregnancy sysmptoms are gone. :(.

I did go in for beta #3, but I really expect that it has dropped.    

I'm okay right now, I cried a bit this morning as the miscarriage has been confirmed.  I know I have to tell DH, but I don't want to.  I am bleeding regularly right now and I have have pads in my purse.   Fortunately it is a busy day for me and I'll keep busy.

Well after this is over it's onto PGD for me.   I believe that might be the best option as time's a wasting!

Of course I'm devasted, but I've been mentally prepared.   I wish I never told DH that I was pregnant.  I feel so betrayed by my body.   But I will make it through this.   Strength of heart.  

Thank you for your encouragement, Ladies!  You guys are fabulous !!!!!!!!!

[YvetteY]

I am sorry for you loss and appreciate your inspiration, but it is so hard to believe what you're saying.  You responded to a post I made four months ago.  I ended up miscarrying around mother's day.   Now I am pregnant again, but I have a feeling that it's not going to last either.   I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.  

If God has any involvment in my miscarriages, it makes no sense to me.  This is all science as far as I'm concerned.   We were told that last christmas day that it was such a blessing to be pregnant.  The priest was talking about mary and jesus.    So I know for everything there's an opposite.  With that logic the miscarriages must be a curse from God???   That's what I'm starting to think.   I'm being cursed.  

[carina1]

I am so sorry to hear your news.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  I am inspired by your strength and patience.

[hammyj7]

I'd went through  a horribly painful miscarriage at 10 weeks.  It was my first pregnancy.  The baby stopped developing at 6 weeks.  It was so difficult.  We really wanted the baby.  We thought we were ready after 5 years of marriage.  We found out I was pregnant 2 days after being baptized, and that was the same day my Uncle offered my husband a great job opportunity back in our home town.  Everything seemed right.  Except that I had bled brown, lightly off and on.  I tried no to worry.  I looked for conformation online.  I felt consoled.  Everyone was different.  I told the OBGYN what happened, and even though I was well passed the implantation time frame, he still said that's it was.  I tried to let it go.  We went out window shopping for baby gear and I noticed my back ached and my cramps were noticable.  On a friday ofcourse.  The brown was thicker and darker and then it turned to rust and then dark red.  I'd already called the Dr. and talked to a nurse.  I ended up going to the emergency room in the middle of the night.  The PA wouldn't come in and do an ultrasound until 7 or 8 am.  It was like 4 am.  We left and went home.  It seemed like the cramping had stopped and the bleeding wasn't as bad so I had hope.  I ended up at home the next night up all night in the bathroom trying to passing the baby. They told me it might happen.  I wanted to have hope anyway.  I was having full body cramps and I felt like I couldn't move my legs for a while.  My husband tried to help, but I didn't want him to see me and the blood.  I felt horrible for passing it in the toilet.  The OB said I didn't need to save it, but I wanted to make sure.  I couldn't make out the baby from the clots.  I finally passed the baby.  Regreting each flush.  I was heartbroken, but I trusted that God knew what was best.  The OBGYN said it was likely due to something being wrong with the baby and that it was not my fault. Not knowing what had happened left me blaming myself for a while.   I had already told both sides of the family. The chance of miscarrying didn't seriously cross my mind.  There was no history of it in my family.
  It was so hard explaining that to our families.  My husband's Aunt (who is not known for sensitivity) started telling the family that she thinks I have endometriosis. My sympathies are with you, sweetie. Hopefully, the DH will take it better.  Although it might be hard for you to do right now,  trust in the Lord.  Always trust in the Lord.  He will bless that.  1 John 4:18    There is no fear in love: but perfect love casteth out fear, because fear hath punishment; and he that feareth is not made perfect in love.
God is not punishing you.  At times you may feel very strong.  Other times you might feel like you are barely hanging on.  Just remember that you are dearly loved, and that God rewards the faithful.  

  

[dardamico]

I am so sorry about this.  You will be in my thoughts.  I hope everything gets better for you.

[YvetteY]

No....they've never checked my progesterone.    I just had it check once I believe, because RE thought I ovulated and guess he wanted to confirm his suspicion.   I will ask about it. I wondered why the heck they weren't checking it when they were doing the HCGs.

[Nickey1]

I'm sooooo very sorry to hear about this, BUT I'm still praying for the best.  Remember, I too bled, and ond a lot, a whole lot.....I went to the ER and my numbers hadn't doubled in like 3.5 days, and I bled so much that the doctor pretty much said I was miscarrying, that was when I was 8 weeks, and I'm not 13, so I'm PRAYING for you, I HOPE it's not what you think.......We all love you!

[shesherm]

Yvette...My sis had bleeding durnign her PG and went on to be fine I pray that is the case for you...
You are and insperation to all of us.  Your strenght is amazing and such a difficult time.  I wish i could give you a (((hug))).  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  hang in there...if it is not good (but it's NOT) we are here for you.  ((Sheila))

[nylena]

very-very-very sorry for yr loss Yvette,i really know how it feels!
you sound like a very strong woman to me,though...........
please , don't give up, yr dh and you will make it one day very soon....
be strong  and good luck.

[mar66rus2]

Sorry to hear about your loss :(

Have you ever had your progestrone checked??  This could be a factor in why you are miscarrying, and it is something that could be fixed easily and a lot cheaper.

[MAR13]

I am really sorry for you and I will keep you in my prayers.

[YvetteY]

You've all have given me sooo much courage and strength to deal with this.   I don't want any of you to  worry about me or feel too sad for me, because, although, I'm devastated by this, I am okay.  

I know eventually this will happen for me and DH.   I'm not ready to give up yet!  :)  

Thank you for your hugs and prayer and support.   I can't imagine how else I could get through this.   I don't feel like it's the end of the world.   I really attribute it to the things I've learned here, your support and your experiences.    Thank you!

[tina1111]

Yvette, I don't even know the words to say how sorry I am. I really am keeping a little hope that everything is somehow going to still be ok. I know the reality is unlikely, but I'm still praying. It's happened before. I am so sorry ((((hugs))))

[marie1210]

Oh Yvette, I am so sorry for you.  This is news I did not want to hear.  I know how you feel.  Don't give up.  I just read a quote off my calendar that I didn't even know was there.  For some reason my eyes were drawn to it.  "Determination all but erases the line between possible and impossible."  Nothing is impossible.  God knows I see my situation as impossible sometimes.  I cut out the quote and put it in my wallet.  Your gift is coming to you.  You will have a child.  I feel so horrible for you right now.  ****Hugs****  

[jess4me]

i'm so sorry i know how you feel i'll keep you in my prayers

[AmNotGivingUp]

I seem to be like so many of you in here, getting pregnat in the past was not too much of a problem but keeping the pregnancy has always been a toughie, and I know how you feel about feeling betrayed by your body, I often feel punished by it, as if I have done something wrong.

So I am so sorry you have to go through this, but tell DH, I agree, you need him now more than ever, his support is what will get you through this and on to trying again.

Take care of yourself, don't work too hard to push the feelings aside, it's hard I know but I definitely feel that these things make us stronger and toughen us up to keep going.

My sympathies to you guys.

[pertykitty]

yvette im so sorry. i wish i had some words that would make you feel better. you are in my thoughts, i pray your time comes very soon.

[javajess]

I am so sorry this has happened again to you.  You like myself seem able to become pregnant, but unable to stay that way.  My RE told me that my case was 1/2 bad luck and 1/2 bad egg.  

That is why we opted for PGD, thank god we did!! We were able to get three good ones that passed the PGD testing (out of 24 retrieved and 14 fertalized)
I bet PGD would be a great option for u too!!  
There is a lot of information on the web about PGD, it's amazing!

YvetteY again I am so sorry you are going through this

[paranoidpatty]

Oh Yvette I am really sorry and I'm really hoping that you're the exception of the women who have bleeding and things turn out okay.  I'm really really praying for your strength to make it through this. Please do not feel bad about telling your DH.  You deserve to have him give you support while you go through this.  This could have happened at any time and you had to tell him at some point.

I know it's gonna be a rough couple of days till you get the beta results.  I can't imagine going through that and I hope it's a good result.

HUGZ!!!