Happy New Year all!!!
I've been really lazy here at home, just doing NOTHING!! a perfect vacation huh!?!? very relaxing, well for dh and I it is. we still have another week off, YAY!! ;o)
Dnikki: keep up w/ the bding, it is never too much!! Good luck w/ the progesterone!
Mommyin09: You can move me up tomorrow, I am CD1 today. Good luck on Tuesday!
Luvkayln: I am so excited for you and happy that everything is working out perfectly! Good luck on Monday! I didn't test, was just waiting to see what happend cause I wasn't really sure when I Oed, but now I know I did on CD12.
Stacey: I am sorry your are feeling scared, try to think positive all the time, enjoy every second of your pregnancy, try no to worry, you will be able to see a perfect little bean and heart soon!!
Candie: 1/2 the way of the 2ww! I've been relaxing, how about you? do you go back to work soon? I do like playing Wii too, ;o)
Hi everyone. Well, the second D and c did not go so well, they found a lot of molar tisuue that grew back and I am officially diagnosed with having a "cancer". Hopefully they cleaned it all out, but if my numbers level out again or rise I will have to do the chemotherapy. It was just so devastating to here the words "it's a cancer" come out of the dr.'s mouth...I guess I was just so optomistic that God could not put me through anything else.
To top it all off:
Through all of this, I guess my mind just could not handle it anymore and I "cracked". I had a few panic attacks and now I am anxious all day worrying... going to the bathroom a thousand times a day to check if I am bleeding or if any molar tissue comes out again. I am so nervous that the molar is going to grow back again. I am also having thoughts that I am going to snap and hurt someone around me, especially my husband and puppy. I saw a psychologist and he says that I am not going to snap and hurt anyone and that I have "anxiety". I have been through so much trama that my mind is in "flight" mode now and thinking the worst possible thing that could happen. It's the worst feelings I have ever had to deal with. The dr. said that the body heals faster than the mind. He says some people have breakdowns and anxiety for no reason at all and millions of people go through things like this at some point in their lives. I think I would just rather have to do the chemotherapy than deal with anxiety.
Good evening friends,
Dh, Honey and i had a great day and I am feeling much better. I'm still very anxious to get the first u/s but I don't feel as paranoid as I did. Something has to be happening even though I don't really feel anything! :) When I find out everything is a-ok it will be awesome because I don't have any sickness or anything (yet!).
Luvkayln - Woo hoo! Awesome appointment! Great lining and 3 lucky follies - who knows, maybe there will be a few more that mature! That is great. I can't believe your IUI is coming up so fast. This is a good cycle for you my friend! I'm really excited and look forward to sharing good news on Monday! I just knew the injections would work well for you. It sounds like the dose is perfect.
Mommyin09 - I definitely feel better. We went for dinner last night and saw Quantum of Solace - the James Bond film. It was fun and very action packed! It definitely got my mind off of things! I can't wait for your u/s on Tues!!
Dnikki - Happy bd'ing!!! Believe me, I hear ya on the progesterone. When you get your BFP you will need to take them for 12 weeks...like me! Good luck!
Keyan - I take it af showed?? So sorry :( You will be back in the tww before you know it. Just relax and enjoy your week off! I would love to have another week off. I have basically had 3 weeks off in December and it is going to be really hard to get back into it on Monday!
Leighanne - I really hope your hands get better soon. Sounds so awful. I just can't wait to see pictures of little Jaedyn! And yes...your life is going to change a lot!!! For the better :)
Well...time to finish cooking my pasta sauce. I'm hungry again! A good sign!! Enjoy your Saturday evening all. We are staying in with food, a fire, and a movie :)
I just can't wait for more BFPs this cycle!!!!
could you please put up as cd1 it was defo af oh well you're right ivf may work the main thing is i'm not at the end of the road yet so giving up is only ever a fleeting thought when the disapointment of af showing up happens i'm hoping we don't do ivf together because your iui will work
dinner and a movie sounds great you know sometimes i think we all get so wrapped up in things we forget something as simple and chilled as going out on a date. enjoy yourself
wow go girl those follies have been busy thanks for your note i was thinking the same maybe i won't need ivf it could still happen while we wait for it
thank you for your support yes we do always pull through somehow i think once af shows you have to have that moment of 'why me' and then you realise ok theres still hope every month .As for you i think you're right bd as much as possible so enjoy
Michelle: Wow, I'm really sorry to hear you've been diagnosed with cancer. That is scary, but you're so right. It's easier to repair your body than it is your mind. We are usually so in control that it's scary when we lose that control & we don't even recognize what's happening. When my dog Cleo died very suddenly in 2006, I internalized my fear and pain & ended up having panic attacks & actually developed shingles. It was very scary & strange, but with the love & support of my dh, I got through it & you will, too. You have a loving husband & so much support. Take care of yourself & keep us updated.
Keyan: Sorry about AF :( I know you weren't expecting a bfp this time, but it's still a bummer. Now you have your u/s this week & can schedule your lap soon; right? Enjoy your time off & stay positive, my friend :)
dnikki: No, I didn't take any meds this time. I don't know if you were around when I had my HSG, but it showed that my uterus is T-shaped & basically that means it's too small to carry healthy multiples. So, the gameplan was changed & we had to stop taking meds. That's why we're trying iui without them, just to see if it works since everything else checked out okay for both dh & I. Our RE wants us to do IVF, only transferring one embryo, again to avoid the "risk" of multiples. So, that's our plan in a few months, but we're trying iui in the meantime. Hopefully it works out for us! :) How about you? Were you on meds this time? I know how you feel about the progesterone. My RE doubled my dose last cycle & it was awful. I'm switching to a different type this time, so hopefully it's an easier process :) I'll kee dh in my prayers that he doesn't get sent overseas. Good luck & keep up the bd'ing!!!
pyar: Oh, I'm sorry about that :( Yes, I'll move you to cd2 tomorrow. I know how you feel. When AF shows or I get a negative blood test, I feel so down, but it only lasts till I have a plan for the next cycle. Then it's time to be positive again :) Hang in there!!!
Stacey: Looking forward to some good news from you on Monday! :) I'm glad you're feeling better. Once you see your baby's heart beat, you will feel such relief, I'm sure!
Michelle: I am so sorry about your diagnosis...I know you will get through this although it will take time. In the meantime please come on here as much as possible and tell us how you are doing/feeling and any thoughts or even write it in a journal. Getting your feelings out might help a little bit. Remember we are all here for you and we all love you :-) I will keep you in my prayers.
Stacey: I know all about the progesterone. I had to take it for 12 weeks when I got p/g with DS. It's sooooo messy. I have to take 2 suppositories at night - it's just gross lol...
pyar: That's what we are here for :-) I have high hopes for this year! Last year was a crappy year as far as ttc, so like everyone else, I have also found strength to carry on.
mommyin09: No, I wasn't on the forum when you had your HSG done - I'm sorry to hear that but glad there is nothing else wrong. You know - when I got p/g with DS, I was on no meds and just was monitored by u/s until I was about ready to O - Then I had my IUI and I got pregnant! It was the first time!! I wish it was still that easy.... Yeah, I took clomid 50mg this cycle. I am hoping that since I took a few months off all my meds that it would maybe "jumpstart" my body and I would miraculously get p/g lol :-) Hopefully that is the case! As far as the progesterone, I think I would rather inject myself with it rather than having to put 2 100mg suppositories in every night - thats just nasty! It's so messy!!! EWWWW!
My cramping had gotten worse this afternoon but has eased up a bit - I feel pressure "down there" though (sorry tmi). Not sure what thats all about....? I like to think my egg is floating around in there and calling out for the little swimmers lol...nice thought huh?
Well, you ladies have a good night! I need to post on another forum - Every night is a battle to get DS to eat dinner. I am actually starting to dread mealtime....
Hugs, Love, and SSBD to all :-)
Just wanted to check in real quick and say hi! :) I don't have time to read over the posts, gotta go to work :( but I'll definately check back in when I get off!! I hope everyone has had a great weekend!
Michelle: (Offer support & prayers!!!)
Guesito: (Please send support!)
kmcarino: (On Vacation)
naf38: (Home in Australia)
Leighanne: BFP - 32 weeks
vortex: BFP - 24 weeks
Joyce: BFP - 18 weeks (u/s 1/6, doc appt 1/20)
Jessie: BFP 13 weeks (doc appt 1/19, 2/16)
Armyprincess: BFP - 11 weeks
Stacey: BFP!!! 5 weeks!
Luvkayln: CD9 (u/s tomorrow!)
Mommyin09: CD10 (u/s 1/6)
ad_06: CD20 (doc appt 1/7)
Candie: 7dpo (Happy Birthday!!!)
Shysana: (any news?)
Candie: Hey, birthday girl! :) Hope you had a great time last night & enjoy your day today! How are you feeling in this tww?
Luvkayln: I hope it's an easy day for you today. Looking forward to tomorrow. I know I'll be busy, but I'll try to check your status in the afternoon. I started testing opk's yesterday & so far negative. I'm expecting my +on Wed. We'll see how close I am ;-)
Stacey: Can you believe we still have toys from Penny & Cleo? I saved some of their favorites & one squeaky tennis ball made its way to Carmelo today & he had a blast with it. It's been with him ever since. It's sitting in his bed with him right now ;) I'll be checking in on you tomorrow, too! Good luck :)
Dnikki: I get a lot of pressure when I'm actually O'ing. Could that be what you were feeling? I never got it before August, but since then, I get so much pressure/pain, that I can barely walk! It feels like my lower abdomen is gonna explode! Anyway, hopefully you were O'ing yesterday & we can move you over to the dpo list! :) Well, it sounds like I'm doing just what you did when you got pregnant with your ds! Hopefully I have the same good fortune :) I noticed a pattern that started back in May where I get my +opk on cd13, then 15, then 13. It alternates every month & if it holds true, I should be getting it on Wed., then iui Thurs. So, we'll see! By the way, when my RE switched me to a new progesterone (which I'll start this cycle), he mentioned there is an intramuscular injectible that you just have to do once/day. If I don't do well with this endometrium, I may swtich over to that. It seems so much easier than dealing with suppositories! :)
Keyan: Happy Sunday :)
Arlotheslug: How are you? I hope Alice is doing better & you're at home relaxing with her & Savana...
Have a great day, ladies :)
Well just a quick update...I guess I am not 1DPO. My "peak" is over and my monitor read high this a.m. We should probably BD tonight, but that would make 4 days in a row!! I don't know if I'm up for that lol :-)
Hope everyone had a great weekend!!!
Hugs, Love and SSBD to all!!
Just took a slow weekend - no computer or anything really since last Tues. - is has been wonderful. Have to work tomorrow - Ug!
DH & I are still not sure what to do. Have to admit I have been really down all holiday. Trying to bring myself up. Hard to be around a bunch of pregnant friends, as well as seeing MIL going ga ga over a baby. Just really hard right now.
Still not sure what is going on with Alice our cat - she has some more tests next week, but she is eating and it is coming out the other side ;-)
I hope everyone had a happy New Year and enjoyed all their traditions. Here in Pgh and SW PA - we eat Pork and Kraut - I love it! Candie do you do that?
Sorry I am a bit late and a bit out of the loop. Wishing all good karma and much happiness!
Will try and check in soon. (Luvkayln, Stacey, Leighanne - I am very excited for you!)
hey all sorry i havent been on i have been ill and the docs are silly they did say what i ahve can be a sighn of pregnancy but i have never heard of it i have constipation feel sick and tired (i know tiredness is) also in a morning im spitting out blood they said thats cuz im constipated i dont no i was really worried they said not to be i have had a very sore throat to so im not getting my hopes up dont no if i have even od stupid body lol
how is every one i wanna here some bfps soooon! and hpe mine is one of them x
Arlo: Good to see you back :-) I'm sorry you've been down lately...We went to a concert for our anniversary - There were soooo many p/g woman there...It seems when we are ttc, everywhere we look, there is someone who is p/g and not us. Our time will happen :-) It's interesting that you are from PA - I'm in OH about an hour from the PA border...we eat pork and kraut too - okay I don't eat the kraut but DH does lol :-D
hannah: I don't know what to make of the docs....when was the last time you went #2 (if you don't mind sharing...?) Spitting blood does not sound like something normal to me. I think you might want to get a second opinion...? I hope you are p/g too! That would be a great new year's gift! Keep us posted on how you're doing!!
Nikki it was today .....
he sed can can be from the bowels because im constipated and my digestion is very slow. he said it will clear up he sed being constipated slow digestion and feeling sick is a sighn of preg also been feeling very weak
i dont no if im preg though i havent od i dont think but last month i bled for 4 days and af showed five days early i just carnt understand my body aggghhhh
feel really down atm aswell when i feel happy for a while it hits me why aint i a mom yet!!
sorry to vent i just wanna cry x
Candie - Happy Birthday!!! I hope you had a wonderful time celebrating. And hopefully you get a late birthday present in about a week or so?? :)
Dnikki - Definitely bd one more time girl! Don't you hate when it feels like a chore? Well it will all be worth it! And welcome back to the tww!
Luvkayln - I also hope you are taking it easy today! As much as I am not looking forward to Monday, I am very much looking forward to our u/s results!!
Mommyin09 - Anything would be better than the suppositories! I would give it a try if your RE offers! It will be interesting to see if your O pattern happens again this cycle!
Hannah - That is very confusing. Why wouldn't they take a blood test if they think you could be pregnant?? Hope you feel better soon and hope it is your bfp.
Michelle - I missed your post before posting my last one. I am just so sorry about your situation. It just seems so rare and so unfair. I wish you all the best and hope that the D&C was successful so you don't have to do chemo. I also hope you are able to get help for the anxiety. It is terrible. All the best and hang in there. You will get through this.
Arlotheslug - Glad you and dh took it easy but sorry you are still feeling down. I don't blame you. There is a solution out there my friend you just need to find it or more likely it will find you...it may take some time and patience but it will happen for you guys. I hope 2009 brings you everything you hope for! Just don't give up!
Well, I'm going to be busy this week since I have barely worked for the past month!! I will definitely be popping in as much as possible but may not be able to catch up every day. I am contacting my RE first thing tomorrow morning for an u/s and blood work! I'll let you all know how it goes.
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday everyone and SSBD to everyone!!
stacey i dont no if you no but in england we dont pay for our doctors well we kind of do in our taxes but our doctors over here they dont really care i dnt think i am preg i aint due yet and im sure i didnt o im used these idiot doctors thats why im turing to private health care were i have to pay a lot of money but it will be worth it x
and he said he didnt test because my af is not due for around 5 days x
Hey girls! :) Back from a looonnng day at work!
Candie- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I'm with Stacey, hopefully you'll get your belated birthday present in a week or so! ;)
dnikkie- Thanks, I'm excited for my appointment tomorrow too! :) I'm really, really hoping to see more mature follies besides the 3 I have! Ya know, with opk's I get +ves for like a week after ovulating, and I'm not sure on the moniters how it works but I think once you read peak, you're ovulating. I would say you are 1dpo, but it wouldn't hurt to keep bd'ing. ( Although I know it gets tiring, especially when you "have" to!
Mommyin09- I hope your cycle stays on schedule, and you do get that +ve opk soon when you're supposed to! My day was so long, i'm just glad it's over and I'm home! I totally forgot when I scheduled my appointment for tomorrow that we're closed on Monday's now and I made it for 6:45 am! So now on my day off instead of sleeping in, I get to wake up even earlier than on work days! Yuck! Hopefully it'll all be worth it, and my follies are cooperating! I really hope to have more than 3 mature follies b/c that's what I make on 100 mg of clomid, so maybe if that's all the mature ones I make they can up my dose a little next cycle so I'll make a few more than that! :) I hope you had a great weekend! :)
Stacey- Good luck tomorrow! I can't wait to hear how it goes! :)
Michelle- Oh sweetie, I'm just so sorry I don't even know what to say! I never, ever imagined this would happen, and I hope you know that we are always thinking of you! I really hope this last d&c will do the trick, and god forbid you have to go through chemo! I just can't imagine how you're feeling right now, and you have every right to have anxiety over it, but this will get better. I know it's so hard, and it seems like it's never gonna end, but things will get better! They just have to! We love you, and are praying for you! Stay strong sweetie! ((Hugs))
I'll update everyone tomorrow! Going to fix dinner now! Hope everyone had a great weekend!! :)
Candie: Happy Birthday!! Have fun celebrating :-)
Stacey: Good luck on your u/s tomorrow! Let us know asap what they say! I'm sure it will all be fine :-) Yeah, I hate when BD feels like a chore lol...Also, DH is older than I and he (how do I put this....) doesn't want it all the time... lol...? *thinking that is a good thing sometimes lol* We will more than likely BD tonight - I won't tell DH in advance though...!
I haven't even thought of me being in the tww yet, Thank You!!!
On another note: My neighbors niece (who is 16) just had her baby on the 1st... Obviously not a planned p/g and her birthday is today - needless to say she didn't want to have her baby on the 1st or on her birthday...such an inconvience. I remember my neighbor saying how much she complained when she got p/g and didn't even take into consideration that my neighbor (her aunt) couldn't concieve.... URGH! Some people just really get to me.... *sighs, then wonders....*
Just needed to vent that thanks!
So I called the RE office first thing this morning and they were very happy with my blood test results (HCG levels were 181 and then 740) and they don't have any interest in seeing me until next Tues Jan 13! I told them that I had no symptoms and she just said 'It is so early, it's normal, it's too early for the u/s because we want to see the heartbeat". I am just 6 weeks today so it is still questionable as to whether we would be able to see a heartbeat. So, she said my HCG levels tripled which is great so there is no need to worry...see you next week!
She definitely reassured me and I have been feeling better the last few days about everything. If I had an u/s and they could not find the heartbeat I think I would freak out. She said I could come in for blood if I really wanted another test....but I don't think I will go for just a blood test at this point.
So what do you think? Dh was completely happy with it and thinks that I have been worrying too much. Plus he wants to come to the u/s and he can next week.
Stacey: Your levels are awesome!!! I think with those levels you will be fine...if you start getting really worried again though, just go in a have another draw - it won't hurt anything and it will ease your mind. YAY!!!
Luvkayln: Good luck with your appt. today!!! Let us know :-)
My monitor didn't ask for a test this a.m and just assumed I had "low" fertility. Which is fine since I got my 2 peaks...I'm tired of bd'ing lol - 4 days should have covered it, so I hope it works! DH has an appt. with our RE on Thursday to check to see if there is something physical that is making his count low and the morphology (or motility) low. When he had is SA done a couple weeks back, only 20% were normal...hoping vit. c did something for him....
Officially in the tww as of yesterday(?)....
Have a great day ladies, will check in periodically!
Hugs, Love and SSBD :-)
Michelle: (Offer support & prayers!!!)
Guesito: (Please send support!)
kmcarino: (On Vacation)
naf38: (Home in Australia)
Leighanne: BFP - 33 weeks
vortex: BFP - 24 weeks
Joyce: BFP - 18 weeks (u/s tomorrow, doc appt 1/20)
Jessie: BFP 13 weeks (doc appt 1/19, 2/16)
Armyprincess: BFP - 11 weeks
Stacey: BFP!!! 6 weeks
Luvkayln: CD10 (u/s today!)
Mommyin09: CD11 (u/s tomorrow)
ad_06: CD21 (doc appt 1/7)
Shysana: (any news?)
Stacey: I'm so happy you spoke with your RE & are feeling better! I agree, wait till next week & dh will get to go. That will be perfect! :) Yay!!! About the injections, I actually asked, but they talked me out of it, saying a suppository would be much easier than an intramuscular injection... I will try it next time depending on how the endometrium works.
Luvkayln: That's funny you made your appt so early! Now you'll have the rest of the day to clean ;-) Looking forward to your results!!!
Candie: Hope you had a wonderful birthday weekend! :)
dnikki: Sounds like you covered your bases! Now it's just a waiting game... Best of luck to you! :)
Good morning ladies! Can I just say that Follistim ROCKS!! :) Last Friday at my appointment I had 1 mature follie on the right at 8mm, with several small follies, 2 mature on the left at 11mm and my lining was at 8mm. WELL, today my lining was at 12.5, 2 follies still on the left at 17mm, and 6!!! on the right, all at 14mm! I'm SO freakin' happy! I wasn't expecting that AT ALL, I mean, I was definately hoping for it, but not counting on anything! So they drew my blood today to see what my E2 levels are at, and then we'll go from there to see when my next appointment is. I'm really crossing my fingers that the ones on my right catch up in time for my ovulation! I'm obviously prepared for cysts, b/c I have 8 eggs! So if no pregnancy this time, next cycle will more than likely be a natural one. Which is ok too, b/c that'll give my body a month off meds. I really hope this works, and I have a good feeling, but not counting on anything since I've been let down so many times! I'll know more this afternoon, so I'll definately keep you all posted! :)
dnikki- That's great your moniter didn't ask you for a test this morning, so you are definately in the 2ww, congrats! ;) I really think you covered your basis on bd'ing! I hope this is it for you girl, but if not, moving on to injections, right? I'm telling you, if you respond well to the clomid, you'll respond well to the injections! My follies sure took a big turn, and I'm so proud of them! lol :)
Stacey- I'm so glad you're feeling better, and next Tuesday you'll be more relieved when you get your u/s! You'll for sure the h/b then! :)
Mommyin09- We were posting at the same time! :) My appointment went awesome, but definately s u c k s I made it for so early! Oh well, got good news so my day will be a good one! :) And you know my house so well, cleaning is definately in store for the day! I hope you have a good day at work! Don't work too hard though!! :)
Wow, you guys are the best. Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes. The big 29, yikes! :) Anyway, I did have a great weekend. DH and I went to dinner on Saturday and then to the movies. We saw Marley & Me and it was so good! Definitely a tear-jerker, especially for those of us that love our dogs, but a lot of funny moments too. Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson did a great job and it was very true to the book. Then yesterday we had our families over and DH ordered food and got a cake, so that was nice too. Well, I'll do my best to catch up...
mommyin09 - Thanks for the condolences on the Rose Bowl. I'm sure everyone is happy out your way! Can't believe your cd7 already. Good luck with the u/s tomorrow. I've been feeling pretty good about things, but trying not to get my hopes up. I guess we'll see in a few days.
luvkayln - I'm hoping for that extra special birthday gift too! :) I'm so happy to hear that you have so many follies and they are progressing so nicely. You must be getting so excited for your IUI. Looks like the doctor's predictions were right, you have a great chance!
Stacey - Hope you and DH had a nice date night on Friday. I'm sure it was just what you needed to make you feel better. That's great that you got to talk to your doctor's and they were able to reassure you. I agree, it's probably better to wait until next week when you know for sure there will be a heartbeat. How exciting!
Keyan - OK, I am so jealous that you are still off work! :) I only had the week of Christmas off, so I was back last week. You look so forward to that time and then it goes so fast! So sorry about AF. I hope you're doing OK.
Arlotheslug - Oh hon, I'm sorry that the holidays were hard for you. I think we can all relate. I'm always telling DH that I don't know if I'm more sensitive these days or what, but it seems like everywhere I look, there's either a pregnant woman or a baby! It is definitely a big decision on which step to take next, so take your time with DH and your hearts will guide you. I hope Alice is OK. And yes, we usually have hot dogs and kielbasi with kraut on new year's eve and pork and kraut on new year's day. I love it!
Have a good Monday everyone!
Candie- It sounds like you had a great birthday and dh was so good to you! :) I just started reading Marley & Me. My mil read it first, then she let me borrow it. I want to see the movie so bad, but I think i'll finish the book first. I love Jennifer Anniston! I can't wait to see it! :) That's awesome you're feeling very good about this 2ww! I really hope this is it for you sweetie! First Stacey, then you! :) I hope, I hope, I hope!!! You're already what, 8dpo! You should know soon b/c you usually have a 11-12 day LP so I'll be praying for a BFP in the next few days for you!!!! Good luck! :)
Good morning everyone. Sorry I was MIA all weekend. I had a long weekend. I am doing my best to stay positive but it just seems to be getting harder and harder. Friday night was awesome. I decided to drink one last time before I started clomid. So, DH went behind my back and invited my best friend up here and he had a buddy come up too. We bought 3 packs of wine coolers, 2 bottles of strawberry champagne, 3 bottles of arbor mist wine. Well... Kaitlyn (best bud) had 5 wine coolers, half the bottle of champagne, and one glass of wine. Everything else... was gone. And I'm the only other person who drank. Do the math lol. It apparently was hilarious. Everyone there thouroughly enjoyed my drunken exploits. But it was definately a great time had by all....until I got up the next morning. lol.
Saturday was just a bad day. I have been feeling pretty negative lately. And I'm sure you all understand. There have just been a lot of my "so called friends" who have recently gotten pregnant and they keep rubbing it in my face. I am happy for anyone who is lucky enough to have children. But when people rub it in my face... I can't really control the negative feelings I get. It's hard. One imparticular... she KNEW that I really wanted to be pregnant last month, for many reasons. One of which (and it's silly, but oh well)... my DH wants to be just like his dad. And his dad had him when he was 24. So DH wanted to have his first baby when he was 24. Well, we've been trying for basically a year. And last month was my last shot to have a baby while he's 24. We would have been due in September and DH's 25th birthday is the middle of September. Well this girl completely rubbed it in my face saying " Looks like I'm the one who gets to have the perfect September baby". It just made me upset. It gets frustrating.
We just started round 2 of clomid on Saturday. If we don't get pg this cycle or next, I'm switching to an RE and looking into other options. I'm just frustrated. We're on day 3 of clomid right now.
Oh! And the good news.... my period is totally gone! It lightened up a lot on Saturday and was just spotting yesterday and is gone today. So I'm glad that it regulated some.
Also, my actual doctor is back from vacation today. I'm just trying to decide when I should talk to her about what happened at my last appointment. I want to make sure that I say everything I need to say.
luvkayln- I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO happy for you!!! DH and I were talking about what we want to do if clomid doesn't work and I definately mentioned the injections. I think that it could be good for us too if we don't get pg with the clomid. I am so happy for you... I can't even tell you. I am keeping my fingers crossed and I can't wait to hear what happens.
mommyin09- As always, wonderful job with the thread. You are awesome. I hope that all is going well for you and that you get that BFP soon. I have a feeling that it will happen before you know it!!
stacey- I am so glad that you feel better about your pregnancy. I know its easy to get worried. But your doctor is right. Everything looks good to them...so no worries! And your u/s will be here before you know it! I can't wait to find out!!!
dnikki- That's awesome that your in the tww!!! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you! Dh and I both got tired of BD last month. DH just felt bad half the time because he felt like we were BD'ing for procreation and not recreation anymore. That's how he put it. So we're trying to keep the spice going so that it doesn't become a "chore".
michelle- You are definately in my prayers hun. I can't even imagine what you're going through. Stay strong. God has wonderful things planned for you. Even if you can't see the big picture right now. God bless, sweetie.
Well I'll be on and off of here all day. It's a new week at work. Yay. Is it bad that it's only 9am on a Monday and I'm already ready for it to be 5pm on Friday?
mrspace- You sound like me on NYE! lol Good times! :) Gosh, I'm so sorry about your "friend" rubbing that in your face! That's terrible! You know, karma comes back so she shouldn't be talking like that, b/c you just never know what could happen! Pregnancy is very scary, and you and me both know the worst side of it! I'm glad you're already thinking about your options if the clomid doesn't work. I really think you should move on to injections if the clomid doesn't work this time around. I mean, yes, they do cost a hell of a lot more than the clomid, but just look at how many eggs you make thus improving your chance for pregnancy!! I couldn't believe I saw 8 mature eggs at my u/s today! I'm staying very hopeful, and your encouragement only helps! Thanks! :) I'm glad your doc is back, and you can find out exactly what that was all about last week! I would be on the phone calling now, because that was a bunch of BS all the way!! I sent you a note, but I hope your day gets better! :)
luvkayln: Thanks for the note. I'm glad to hear from you before leaving for work 'cause I know it's gonna be a busy day! I'm so very happy for you!!! Everything looks great so far & you should know this afternoon when your iui is set; right? Will you do a trigger shot? I'm sure you'll be cleaning your house with a big smile on your face today! :-) I'm glad it'll be busy today & tomorrow is my u/s, then Thurs-Fri I'm off work. So, this week should fly by... Hopefully dh feels better soon!
mrspace: Anyone who makes such a rude comment to you shouldn't be considered your friend. Sorry, but that's my opinion. She sounds very immature & you should be surrounding yourself with a positive, uplifting support system! :) You know, dh & I met in high school. We dated 10 years before we got married. So, my "plan" was to have a baby at the next ten-year mark. We've been together since I was 15, so married at 25 & waited to have kids 'cause we were getting our careers going, etc. So, I thought wouldn't it be perfect to have our first baby when I'm 35?! I guess we can't plan everything 'cause I'm gonna be 37 in June! Our time will come, just hang in there!!! :)
Arlotheslug: I'm sorry you're feeling down :( The holidays are really tough. They really make you think, especially for those of us who so wanted to be pregnant by Christmas. That negative beta was my hardest blow yet! :( Stay strong, my friend! You have such an amazing dh & I agree that good things are in store for you two! Let us know what you decide & give Alice lots of love for me!
Candie: I'm glad you had a nice birthday! :) I want to see Marley & Me, too, but I think I'll read the book first. That's a great idea 'cause we won't see it til it comes out on DVD anyway. I think I'll ask my friend at work if I can borrow it. I'll be hoping & praying that you get that belated b-day gift!!! :)
Hannah: I hope you feel better. I agree, that's odd that the doc would say those are pregnancy symptoms, but think it's too early to take a blood test?! That doesn't make sense. Have you tried an hpt? Take care!!!
Happy 3 Kings Day to you! Sounds like you've got a lot more celebrating to do this week!!! I, too, am jealous, but happy for you :-) Enjoy!
hello all :o)
did my HPT this morning and BFN :o( Got a temp sike though this morning x wondering if these internet cheapies are a good test, ive had evap lines - think its back to digital next month :o)
ooopsy i ment temp spike lol -
Thanks for your comments. I do feel better and have started to relax! I was all geared up to get back into work today but guess what?? It is really hard! I am too distracted plus I am working from home...so it makes it to easy to do other things!
Luvkayln - Woo hooo hoo!!! You are going to have a litter just like your RE said! :) What a nice surprise. That is awesome. I assume you will take a trigger shot?? With all of those follies rupturing over a short period, the timing will be on! You will be certain to catch an egg or two at the perfect moment! Very exciting indeed!! :)
Mommyin09 - Looking forward to your u/s tomorrow!! Let's start the new year off right with a nice b-ball follie ok?? Exciting times!!
Mrspace - I agree with the others, that girl is not your "friend" to say something like that. You need to be around supportive people if they know what you are going through. I find that it is nice to have friends that don't know anything, so when I go out with them, it is an escape from the ttc world. My handful of friends who know were chosen very carefully!! I did not want everyone to know because I could not handle inquiries month after month after month. Glad af stopped and you are feeling better physically. Now try to get in a positive frame of mind to ttc this month! You have a great chance and you have been pg before. It's just a matter of time!
Candie - Glad you had such a great Birthday!!! The big 2-9 huh??? WOW! That sounds very young to me :) I just turned 35 my dear!!! I have a lot of hope that you will get a nice birthday surprise at the end of the week! :) Come on BFP!! I have a question for you and Arlotheslug - what is pork and kraut? I don't think I have ever had that!
i knew the doctor was full of it he was just a temp soctor who couldnt speak english very well he never new me he jus sed test if af dont come he was a big fat fool wait till i see my doc she is bad but not stupic oh well cd 26 dnt no if i d we will see x
been bding lots lol
Michelle your in my thoughts xx
Babymama: Sorry about the bfn :( Hang in there!
Stacey: That would be distracting to be at home & you have so many exciting things to think about! ;) I think Arlotheslug was referring to sauerkraut. We don't eat pork & kraut, but my mil makes sauerkraut at every special occasion :)
Arlotheslug: Am I right, you're referring to sauerkraut? Do you have it all through the holidays or just Christmas & New Year's?
Luvkayln: I hope you have some news soon. I'll check in later :)
hannah- oddly enough the first major symptom i had with my second MC pregnancy was severe constipation. Not saying that you will have a MC, just saying it is a sign because HCG can severely constipate you. hope this is a good sign:)
Arlotheslug- sorry you are feeling down. the best thing to do is take the time you need and pamper yourself. i know its easier said than done but it does help.
luvkalyn- WOO HOO for the mature follies. congrats. i hope this month or next month work out, preferably this month.
mrspace- F those so called friends. pardon my bad language but i hated after my MC's when someone would rub it in my face. I know ti is part of life to have pregnant women around you but there is a nice way to be tactful about it. I always try to be tactful about my pregnancy because i never know who i might be talkign to that had many losses like i did or is having a hard time TTC, so i try to never be over amped and very mindful.
The nurse finally called! :) Trigger tomorrow night, and iui on Thursday morning! Yay! That makes me so happy, b/c now all my eggs will catch up! She even said that since my u/s was so early this morning, that my follies have probably already grown 1-2 mm! I have so much hope now!!!! :)
Luvkayln: AWESOME!!! Congrats on all the follies :-) Good luck with your IUI - it all sounds promising... I hope this is your month!! If I do injectables next month, do I have to be monitored by u/s (probably a dumb Q, but I don't know...)? To save some $ I was hoping I could just do my monitor.... idk...
Babymama: So sorry about your bfn...just try and hang in there for next cycle. This is OUR YEAR!!! All of us on here now will get our BFP's!!! ((Hugs))
Mrspace: I'm sorry your having a tough time - it's completely understandable :-( Screw those friends who rub it in... I have family that does (did) it to me. My brother and SIL had gotten p/g and everyone was sooo happy (I was too, but you know....) Well, at her 4 month u/s they find out they are having TWINS...I couldn't freaking believe it... So if that wasn't enough - my family wanted to have a get together, that was fine, till I had a m/c and I couldn't bear to go... I could already hear my family - look at her belly, I can't believe she's having twins, Maybe she'll have the first girl blah blah blah. I didn't tell anyone about my m/c, then I finally told my sis, and she completely understood why I wasn't going.... It still frustrates me, but hang in there hon. We are ALL here for you. ((Big Hugs))
Mommyin09: Good luck at your u/s tomorrow :-) I hope you have a big follie in there!!! Let us know when you get back!!
I know a follie on the right ruptured and more than likely the left too... Yesterday both sides were achy and today I have been achy on and off on the right side... Keeping my fingers crossed! I have sort of a dumb Q: If the RE says DH has only 20% "Normal" swimmers, does that mean 20% normal morphology or 20% normal motility of a combo of both....Thanks!!
Much hugs, love, luck and SSBD to all :-)
dnikki- Thanks! :) No, you definately have to be monitered b/c it's such a potent drug and b/c it's a straight follicle stimulating hormone, and you don't want to overstimulate. They also do bloodwork to check your estrogen levels each visit as well to make sure you're at the right dose. I've only had 3 u/s this time, and that's just 1 more than I had with clomid so it's not that bad. But I'm only CD 10 and will be ready to trigger on CD 11! That's so early, but i'm so happy i responded so well to the meds!! :) Out of these 8 eggs I better at least get 1 baby! :) Good luck nikki! I hope you ovulated from both sides, that will dramatically increase your chances if you have an egg waiting on each side!! :)
luvkayln: Yay! Great news :) How exciting that your iui is so soon! I bet we'll be really close this time. I'm so excited for you!
dnikki: Yes, I will go straight to work from my appt, but I'll check in asap. That's great that you're officially in the tww! Congrats & best wishes :)
Luvkayln - That is great!! Don't you love how fast the injections make your cycle go? I would always trigger around day 12...13 at the latest. You will absolutely get at least one baby. Get ready to be a mommy!! (you said that to me and it brought me a ton of luck!!)
Mommyin09 - Good luck with your u/s tomorrow!!! I am sending good follie vibes your way! And that makes sense about the sauerkraut. I had no idea it was part of a New Year tradition!
Dnikki - Follies rupturing on both sides are definitely a great sign. Good luck!!! The tww will fly by. Sorry I don't know about the swimmers - my assumption is that it means both good motility and morphology. Assuming dh has a good count to begin with, 20% should be more than enough healthy swimmers.
Stacey- Thanks! I hope it works for me too! :) I'm ready to make Kayln a big sister!!! :) And yes, I love how quick my cycles go with these injections!! Even if this cycle doesn't work, I've got 3 cycles worth of meds sitting in my fridge right now! At least I know this stuff works, and hopefully it does the trick for us!
Mommyin09- Thanks! I'm super excited too! :) I'll be crossing my fingers that you get your +ve opk by Wednesday so we can have our iui's together! Is dh feeling better? I hope so!
luvkayln- I am super excited for you! I am glad you are responding well to the injections. Good luck with the trigger tmw. Do the injections hurt? We may be looking into that in the coming cycles...
ALL - Thank you for you support last week during my surgery. I am finally feeling half way o.k. I started taking my Metformin again Friday. It made me really sick Saturday and Sunday. I think it was from where I didn't take it all for 5 days, then when I started taking it again I went back to the 3 a day. So, Sunday.. I only took 1. I felt fine today. So, I think I am going to ease back into it... take 1 tonight... maybe 2 for a few nights.. and so on. Do you think that is o.k? Last Monday, during my pre-op appt. my RE gave me a perscription for Femara to take this coming cycle. I was on BC.. last pill was Saturday.. so AF should be here tmw or so. However, I am still bleeding from the surgery. So, I am having a hard time telling if it's my AF or not. Plus, I think I remember RE telling my in recovery to not take the meds. after all this cycle due to the surgery being soooo invasive. I really should just call them tmw, huh? Anyway, I go in Friday for my post-op appt. Even if I can't take the femara this cycle.. I am excited. You never know what that little cleaning out could do... : )
ohh.. and what is femara like? How does it compare to Clomid. I took two cycles of Clomid (1 on 50mg and the other 100mg, CD 3-7). When I take the Femara it will be CD 3-7 (2 pills per days each being 2.5mg). Is that a common dosage?
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers...I need a lot of them right now. I am in such a dark place. I am getting help, I saw a psychologist who does therapy with people who are recieving treatment in the hospital and he referred me to a psychiatrist who he works with to go over possible medications I might be interested in taking. He suggested Zoloft for the depression, anxiety, and OCD (obsessive, disturbing thoughts). I think I am going to try the medication along with therapy and see if it makes me feel any better. Does anyone have any experience taking antidepressents? I am a little nervous.
I never even saw this coming...it was like I woke up one day and literally "cracked up". It's crazy how our minds work. I guess I can take the next year getting my mental health back before I can think about becoming a mommy. The doctor said he would give us clearance to try again 6 months after my HCG goes to 0, but I figure we'll just try agin when I feel better. Just when you think the worst happened?!?!?
Let me know if you would prefer I didn't post here. I'm a little out of the TTC mind frame for now, but it is something that will keep me going.
stacey i'm glad you're feeling more positive this is your time now try to enjoy it but i do understand your concernc i think i would be the same
mrspace OMG with friends like that who needs enemies sorry if that sounds harsh but this journey is hard enough you really don't need that
luvkayln woo your are responding so well i've got a really good vibe for you fingers crossed
michelle i can't speak for everyone but i think yes keep posting here even though you are taking time out from ttc the support here will all help towards you feeling better and able to try again when you feel ready to we all have to deal with the mental aspect of all of this and it can gat too much for anyone i applaud you in that you are putting things on hold to sort yourself out to be the best mom you can be
dnikki i have my fingers crossed that you have eggs on both sides sorry i can't help with info on swimmers
mommyin09 how's things is it your u/s today let us know how it goes
i just got the call and got the go ahead for ivf next cycle so thats feb only thing is they kept saying not to get my hopes up but they are going to put me on the max dose 600ml and if they have to we can convert to iui so i'm going to do everything poss to prepare my body and make it as healthy as i can so no alcohol more healthy eating excercise also i started on dhea hopefully things will work out i'm pleased to get the go ahead but so anxious now
michelle- the therapy really helps. i agree about just waking up and feelign like a totally different person. after my 2nd MC, i had to see a therapist because i could not feel like normal leighanne no matter what i did and it help because it was a safe place to get everything out and not be judged in any way. zoloft and prozac are 2 good meds to start off at a low dose with that can help at a very low dose.
Michelle- We will help you get through this! Please don't stop posting here! We all care about you, and I know talking about it helps and we are here to listen and support you! I did take antidepressants for a few weeks after having Kayln, but then I stopped them. Sorry, I can't exactly remember what I took, maybe zoloft?? Anyway, it took a couple weeks to start working, and it did help while I was taking it. I'm glad you are getting help, and I really think you are right to wait until you feel the time is right to start trying again. You need time to heal physically and emotionally, and I know it'll happen again for you, so for now take time to heal. I'll keep you in my prayers! ((Hugs))
rachjas- Thank you! I'm so excited too! :) The injections actually don't hurt at all. One night they did, but that's b/c you can't keep giving yourself the shot in the same place b/c the injection site gets sore after a few shots there! So if you just rotate injection sites, you'll be fine! :) I'm glad you are thinking about going on them. They obviously do their job! :) I never thought I would have 8 eggs!! Good luck!
Pyar- That's great you got the go ahead to do ivf for next cycle! Woo hoo! That's so exciting!! Good luck! :)
Mommyin09- Good luck at your appointment today! Hoping you see 1 big, round beatiful follie!! :) I'll be checking in for your update!!
mrspace- Hope you have a better day at work today! :)
Okay, I'm having a much better day today! Tomorrow is my last day of clomid for this cycle. I think it'll be okay. And honestly right now...if it's not..that's okay too. I just have a much more positive outlook right now. It'll all work out.
michelle- I have experience with antidepressants, and I'm on Zoloft also. Zoloft is pretty new to me but it's actually going pretty well. It's pretty mild compared to some but it really does help. I've battled depression for 11 years now, mostly caused my sexual abuse from my father that just made me spiral out of control. I because this terrible person. I lied compulsively (because my stories were better than reality) and I suffered from terrible self esteem. To this day.... there are still days where I struggle to find one single thing that I like about myself. But I'm working on it. And it's gotten so much better. Have your DH help monitor you. For me... I can't always tell/remember if I have emotional outbursts or changes in my attitude. Monitor how the antidepressants make you feel. If they make you feel loopy, disconnected...or anything like that, I'd ask to switch meds. Paxil is another one that worked well for me. I just know that I always hated feeling loopy or out of it. Please please please, know that I, for one, am here to talk if you EVER need it. I know that these things can seem to weigh us all down. But don't worry. We're all here to pull you back up. Stay strong.
luvkayln- HAPPY DANCE TIME!!! I'm so excited that everything is going so well for you. I have such a good feeling about it. Please keep me informed because I'm already going crazy wanting to know if it worked for you!!!
stacey- I hope all is going well for you! I can't wait until your ultrasound.
dnikki- Thanks for the kind words. I try to surround myself with positive people these days, but sometimes people surprise you. I haven't been talking to that girl at all lately. There are a lot of people I'm actually not talking to now. DH and I's best friends just found out that they are pg just after our wedding. She's 20 wks now and they just found out they are having a little girl. Well, DH told them about what these girls kept saying to me. Then they came over to visit on Sunday and she had ultrasound pics. SHE WOULDN'T LET ME SEE THEM! She said that she didn't want to rub it in my face at all and that she felt so bad that we're going through this and that they are having a baby. Silly girl. She was so sweet about it. I told her that people who are pg dont' bother me. It's the people who sit there and tell me stupid **** that bother me. I had another girl last night tell me that if I focused more on my weight loss then I'd be blessed with a baby. It just aggrivates me. Oh well! I'm so glad I have you all to vent to and for support.
mommyin09- How is everything going?
Good morning! I was running late this morning. I got up at my normal time, but had to leave early for my appt. So, very little play time! :) Quick update: My u/s went well. I have a 16-mm follie on my right & then littler ones on the left. I still have neg opk's, so plenty of time for my right side to grow :)
Luvkayln: So, what is considered "good" when they're measuring your lining? Mine was only 4. something?? Anyway, looks like we may be doing iui pretty close ;)
Michelle: Absolutely, stick around! I'm sure I speak for everyone else when I say that we all care about you & are praying for you! We all want to see you pull through this difficult time. Take care! :)
Pyar: That's great you got the go-ahead for ivf! I'm sure they don't want you to get your hopes up 'cause some people don't respond well to the meds. If it doesn't work the first time, they'll find the right dosage for you :) This is exciting! I'm with you on eating right & exercising. I started the South Beach diet yesterday & we had wine twice over the holidays, but hadn't had any alcohol for 3 months before that! Best wishes to you :)
Rachjas: Yes, I would call your RE just to get everything straight. I'm glad you're feeling better! Hang in there! :)
Dnikki: I saw your note, but I'm checking I'm with my cell, so I can't
navigate well from work! :)
Sorry I didn't update everyone. As I said to dnikki, it's hard to navigate with my phone. Definitely no copying & pasting! Have a great day, ladies! :)
Everyone: I started a new thread, it's still called "Calling All Woman of Strength (#2)...". I'm going to try my best to update everyone on there...