I shoved the sperm inside

[brimcphan]

Well I am 38 and i have been trying to get pregnant. My husband of 7 months is not sure if he wants another child because he is 44. Today we had sex and he came on my stomach. less than a minute passed and i took the *** with my fingers and shoved it inside of me deep. Was it still living? Can i get prgnant that way. I ovulated yesterday or the day before. We had decided and he changed his mind and came on my stomach. Did i shove the sperm in time. Can it even be done that way? And was it still living? the sperm was still very wet and on my stomach.

[desparado]

Oh my Gosh I am in a similiar boat. I got married at a young age and had two children. The marriage ended up in a divorce I tied my tubes cuz I believed I would never remarry and want any more children.  I met a wonderful man and then remarried. I had the tubes untied, had 4 failed IUI's and 1 failed IVF.

I am 40 with 1 blocked tube and fibroids and desperately feel like I'm running out of time. Oh how I wish our dreams will become reality for 2008. I desperatley want my husband to experience being a father he deserves it he's been so good to my two children and I want to have a baby for US. Let's pray for each other. What's your next step? I am trying to save up for  another IVF. It's soooo expensive Man this is tough so let's keep supporting each other.
Take care

[FaithNHim]

My husband is wonderful with my two kids, however, this is my second marriage and both children are from my first marriage. During both pregnancies I suffered with severe hyperemesis gravidarum. This is a severe form of morning sickness, with unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids. Hyperemesis is considered a rare complication of pregnancy but, because nausea and vomiting during pregnancy exist on a continuum, there is no clear boundary between common morning sickness and hyperemesis. The percentage of pregnant women afflicted range from 0.3% to 2%.

After my second child, I got my tubes tied because I was high risk with both children, hospitalized most of my pregnancy and so sick it was unrelenting. I thought I was with the man for life BUT that did not happen. Now I am with a wonderful man who does not have children and now we have had TWO failed ivf attempts. I blame myself because of the tubal but assumed I would get pregnant easily because of my two children and no fertility issues.

This really bites. I want to have children with my husband!!!

[gokuangel]

i agree w/tina i im the same boat as her my X said he wanted kids then he didnt then he did eventually he was just telling me how i was never gonna get pregnant and how i wasnt good enough to be the mother of his kids blah blah blah and i stayed married to him for nothing for 4yrs!! and now hes w/some girl who has 2 kids and doesnt even deserve them. and i did the same thing when i remarried made darn sure that issue was clear if i was gonna get remarried i wanted children no if ans or buts about if i could so make sure all decisions bout those issues are clear and GL!!!

[jifnif]

i had a child 17 years ago that has had no interaction w/ her father.  we had discussed that we wanted children and were engaged to be married.  i got pregnant on the pill and he was extremely unhappy.  I was pretty happy but scared.  we were only 19 and 21.  we did get married and then ended as soon as i had the baby.  she did not have a father until i remarried years later.  I agree with others and re-evaluate your relationship.  I love my husband w/ all my heart and the family and my life would not be the same w/ out him.  It is in fact because of him/us that we have a beautiful child and he is a good father to my daughter too.  Thank god for second chances!!!  :)

[zez]

Hi

Brimcphan

I can honestly feel your desperation for a child I really can and a womens desire to have one can make us do such things as bad as they seem.

I have been through a awful time for the past 2 years trying to persuade my dp to let me have another but he kept refusing me and I felt desperate he has only just half heartedly sort of agreed now although he will say it has been forced upon him and he hasn't really agreed if that makes sense.

He is not happy at all about having another one he thinks we are too old I am 37 he is 44 and he thinks I am daft hankering after another one at 37 he cannot understand it.

We already have one child who is now 7 and he doesn't want to start all over again and he thinks children are restricting.

But my desire for another is just too strong.

[Chrissieanddan]

You can get pregnant even if he pulls out!! I has a mc 14 years ago by doing just that.
I would sit him down & calmly tell him how much this means to you & if he loves you & wants what is best for the two of you he should be willing to hear what you have to say.

Has he told you why he doesnt want a child?

If he said in the begining that he did want one it is very unfair of him to change his mind my advice is try & find out why he is backing out now.
best of luck

[LJ307]

Yes, I  agree with Mel.  It was unfair of him to change his mind after previously agreeing.  But, the fact is - he did change his mind.  He needs to have an equal say in the decision to have a baby.  This would be no different than if you had changed your mind and asked him to pull-out/withdraw and he refused and came inside you anyway.  This type of behaviour shows a lack of trust and communication between the 2 of you and also a bit of self-centerness on both your parts.   I'm sorry I am not trying to pass judgement, Lord knows I've done silly things without thinking them through before. I've certainly been self-centered a time or two as well.  But, please re-evaluate this relationship and the goals the 2 of you have in mind for it.  

To answer your question though, there is a chance.  A bit remote.  But, sperm can live outside the body for a short time.  I hope it all works out for the 2 of you.

[brimcphan]

So sorry to hear of your loss. To be honest i am beginning to resent my husband and i will have to pray on that issue. I truly want a child and I do so feel that my clock is ticking. I'm afraid if i wait for him to stick to a decission i will miss my opportunity to be a mom. I am not sure the marriage can survive that.

[tina1111]

My ex did the same thing with me. He knew how important it was to me and I thought we were on the same page. After 9mos of marriage, he changed his mind. I stayed with him for 7 yrs. I am now remarried and made d@mn sure we were clear on the issue long b4 I said I do, again. We did conceive on the very 1st try when I was 1 month away from my 41st bday. We lost him due to a placental tear. We are still trying. I wish you all the best.

[brimcphan]

Yes i do agree.... the problem is we have talked about it and we agreed together and at the last minute he changed the rules. We calculated the fertile days together and everything. Is it fair for him to suddenly change something we throughly discussed....????

[babywanted556]

I did some research that even only 1 sperm can fertilize but we do need as much as sperm posible to help the strongest one get into the egg.  That's why low sperm count causes infertility.  Some kind of chemical need from sperm to break the egg shell.  After 1 get in, the shell is closed.

[tina1111]

Yes, it still has much life in it and most definitely, it can happen that way.

I am not going to get on a soapbox by any means. I have been in the same boat that you are in. The real question is, is this the kind of marriage that you want? Only 7 mos has passed. It is important for a strong relationship to agree on the big ticket items. Just a thought....

[FaithNHim]

Not sure, but I do remember reading that if kept warm at body temperature (like on the skin or in a warm test tube), sperm remain motile for several hours. Inside the female reproductive tract, they can live for up to 7 days. Sperm are very sensitive to temperature and moisture and will eventually die outside the body, but since each ejaculate may contain as many as 750 million sperm, and it only takes one sperm to result in pregnancy