Feeling really sad...

[SueGre]

I am not pregnant again this month. I got AF a few days ago. It's been 9 long months since we lost our little boy and we have not gotten pregnant again. I'm sad, I'm feeling discouraged, and I miss my little boy so much. It's amazing how much it still hurts. I never met him, yet I miss him so badly. I just want to hold him and kiss him and stroke his little head. But I can't, because he's gone, and he's not coming back. And it still really hurts. I just want to get pregnant so we can look forward and feel excited about a new life again. I admit I'm having a bad day all around, but this is my focus right this minute and it just hurts so badly.

[scienceteacher79]

How are you doing? I have been thinking about you. I hope you feel better and are ready for the next cycle. GIANT hugs coming your way and I am sending lbs. and lbs. of super sticky baby dust by express mail so be on the lookout for it! Hee hee!!!

[Helen72]

I am so sorry about the blues and your feeling of loss.  I hope your BFP is coming soon.

Many hugs,
Helen

[4Angie]

Sponsored by Kleenex!  Ha! Ha!  That was hilarious.  If Kleenex is sponsoring, I will go!  I am from Virginia Beach, VA!

SueGre:  I am so sorry for your loss.  I am sure there are plenty of women in this forum that can feel your pain, and several of us that cannot.  I cannot imagine that pain!  I feel like a death has happened every month when AF shows up, but I am sure it does not amount to the pain of actually losing a child.  I wish you much luck in the upcoming months.  SSBD!

[desparado]

Where do you live? I am in Toronto Canada. It would be interesting to see where everyone lives and to try to meet for a women's weekend sponsored by "Kleenex" For all the tears and all the laughs.
Let's see who's in

[Tanker Chic]

i'm really sorry sue. i hope things turn around for you real soon.

[miky72]

I'm back in the States since yesterday.
I just wanted to tell you that I know how you feel and I'm with you in this.
I hope next month is our month.
Lots of baby dust and hugs,
miky

[SueGre]

We really should plan to meet up. I would absolutely love to hang with you girls. I foresee lots of laughs, tears, hugs, more laughs, and sad goodbyes, but it would mean the world to me to meet all of you in person.

Who's in?

[SueGre]

Oh, Lori, I heart you, too. I'm sorry you had to relive that awful moment again recently. I hope your friends were supportive. If they are not, or if they just don't seem to understand, I am here for you. I would love to get together. Where do you live again? I'm in Boston.

Big Fat Hugs,

~S

[SueGre]

Our losses have been big, and no matter how early or how late our pain is real. We should continue to look to each other for support. I am here for you and anyone out here that needs my support.

Big Hugs,

~Sue

[SueGre]

I try my best to look at all the good in my life and focus on them rather than dwelling on the things I don't have and want. But this loss is so big and is in my thoughts every day. My DH says he thinks about our baby every day too. I think once we have a child this loss won't feel so big anymore. You are totally right, we definitely ALL deserve to be mommies - and soon!!  

Hugs,

~Sue

[SueGre]

Glad to know I am not alone in feeling this way so long after it all happened, but not glad to hear that you were recently so sad. We will all get through this together.

I love you too!

~S

[grammy64]

Hi sweetie. Been since Christmas 2006 since our bub passed.  Right before Tina's.  Not right and not fair. I went out last Sat night with friends.  We were out having a few cocktails, and the mc/ came up.  i was talking about how our bub delivered at our house, and I started to cry.  It has been a long time, and I am the grandma and I still have these days.  Normal.  Not fun.  Totally normal.

I heart you Sue.
You are not alone.
I hope we can get together someday and talk.
I feel for you.
Hugs,
Lori

[desparado]

This can be so heart breaking but we have each other to turn to and that's what keeps me going. Honestly I don't think I could have gone this far without the support from all of you wonderful ladies. We have all suffered LOSS.... some of us were further along than others but nevertheless it hurts so so bad. You never get over the loss you just get through it. We WILL conceive again. We have to believe it and it WILL happen. Let's keep the faith and lots of HUGSZZZ to you all!!!!!!

[tina1111]

I am sorry Sue ((((hugs)))) I know how you are feeling. It's been one yr and 4 mos since we lost our little boy. I went in the cedar chest just yesterday and pulled out the last u/s and bawled for an hr, kissed it and held it, then put it away again. It took a year just for me to take it off of the fridge. There are bad days. I hate them, too. Every month that slips by feels like a personal defeat.

I hope the dr can speed things up for you. The waiting is eternal. You deserve that baby and I hope the waiting ends for you very soon. In fact, I hope the next time is twins. You should get a freebie for waiting so long and going through so much!   :)

Love ya!!!

[jjsh44]

I was just telling another lady on the forum that so many people believe in everything happens for a reason, but in circumstances like this, I beg to differ.  All of us here deserve to be mommys. I am so sorry Sue. It is so humble of you to count the things you are thankful for (like your wonderful husband) even in these times that you are hurting so badly.  Good just has to come your way-
Lots of love

[scienceteacher79]

You are really lucky.Your hubby sounds awesome. WIsh I could say the same right now....

I am so glad you feel better! HUGS!

[SueGre]

I haven't seen an RE or been put on meds because I got pg at age 39 within 5 months. We had to wait 3 months after the D &E and we've been trying again for 5 months. I have been thinking I may need to take fertility meds so we can move this along. I have that appt with my OB on May 21th, so we'll see what he says.

I love that your DH's name is Rob also!

When my Rob came home, he came to me right away and held me and kissed my forehead to calm me down. We talked and I cried and then we sat and watched T.V. together. I feel better but still sad.

I just feel so fortunate to have such an amazing loving husband.

[scienceteacher79]

oh sweetie! I am so sorry. I have been there, I know what you mean. You feel like you are losing it, huh? I haven't lost a baby the way u did but I feel the pain too.  No offense meant when I say this: with your age, why haven't you been seen before and put on meds? You need an RE. I bet you would get preggo in no time.

Wanna hear something funny? Rob is my husbands name too :)

[SueGre]

Hey. No, I haven't done any meds. I have a pre-conception appointment with my OB the 3rd week of May. I'm just sitting her bawling waiting for Rob to get home. I really need him right now. I'm feeling really really bad right now.

[scienceteacher79]

I am so sorry this is all still so raw for you. I wish I could make your pain better. You will get a BFP! Have you been doing meds ?