Husband not wanting to talk about it

[dawnlvn4jc]

How many of you have husbands or significant others who don't want you to talk about having a baby? My husband is superstitious at times and says the more we think about it the more it won't happen! Although, I know he is stressed about it too because he tells me about dreams he has about us having a girl! LOL! Just wondered how many of you have the same experiences.
Dawn

[spoilbabe69]

hey, good luck to u hope u have great test results, and hang in there you and the hubby will be fine, they are just "wired" wrong ...lol they don't ever think about it as much as we do ... I think the only time they think about it is when we mention it to them ( that is really frustrating) for me I like to know that atleast he is thinking about it and bring up the topic instead of me doing all the time, I used to feel like I wanted it more than he did or its not a important to him as it is to me, but it getting better with alot of talking and bringing ur feeling out in the open. I think thats the only way to deal with it.... but he still wiered out sometimes when we talk about IVF... I guess it all takes time anyway good luck to u SSBD!!!

[dawnlvn4jc]

Thank you! At least I know that I am not alone! I know he feels the pressure and stress from this. This morning he told me that he had a dream about us having a girl. I just get frustrated sometimes when I cry about not being able to get pregnant and he says "Don't think about it" How can I not think about it?! I know men are so different than women! Yes, we just started fertility testing. He had one sperm analysis done, another one is scheduled for next week. I have had my blood drawn to see my hormone levels - every thing came back fine. I also had an ultra sound - I don't have the results yet. His Sperm analysis was low motility. So they want him to do it again. We have our second dr appointment on Sept. 17. Doctor put me on Femara to see if that would help. He wanted to try that for 3 months and if that didn't work, he would send us to a different doctor. Hope all this will work out! I can't test yet so I am very anxious!

[spoilbabe69]

My hubby and I had the same thing going on with us. He didn't want to talk about it and when he did he said he felt pressured and that it should be able to happen on its own and that this is all overwhelming for him and blah blah blah.. you know the rest, but we talked ALOT about it and when we finally came to a conclusion it was that we both want the same thing, a baby.. and we have to accept that I need help in that area because of my PCOS and it will be a surprise when it does eventually happen even though we know we are TTC. Its been been very emotional for him also , sometimes we think it does not affect the men but it does they just don't talk about it and we have to find ways in doing so just so we can give our selves a peace of mind knowing that they want the same thing we want and we all are on the same page.
I don't know if you have had the fun I have from going to all these docs apps, getting poked and prodded and all that fun stuff taking all these meds.. but if you do/did and the hubby has been there for u then maybe he is into it but just does not know how to express himself, actually it was this website is what helped him see that I was not the only one with a problem and that it couldbe fixed and he read others post and he came around.. maybe u could try that.. anyway good luck to u and SSBD!!!

[dawnlvn4jc]

Thanks for your reply. Yes, we have talked about wanting a child. Yes, he wants one as badly as I do! We have been trying for 3 years without doctor help. 2 months ago we sought help from the doctors. I am on Meds and he is still being tested. One more test for him so they have more than one sample. I don't have the results of my tests until we see the doctor again. He just says that if we talk about it so much, we will make it not happen AKA Jinx it! Just wanted to see if anyone else has the same problem. Oh and I am 35 and he is 46. I will be 36 in a few more months.

[Mariana101]

As long as he wants to have a baby as a rational mutual decision, then you are ok!! most men feel pressured by women to talk about babies and really, lets face it, not all of them like the topic because they feel the pressure to "perform" and loosing control/enjoyment over their sex life.

However, if he can't make the decision of even wanting to have a baby then you guys have to have a SERIOUS CONVERSATION because babies are a lot of responsibility and you BOTH need to me on the same page about wanting to have them or not!!!
He can't tell you" "I don't want to talk about it" and that's it!!! This is a serious decisions in life!!!! So "forced" him to be a man and have a grownup conversation with you: HIS WIFE!!!! If he is open to having kids then don't bother him to much after that, since he says he is superstitious.... enjoy yourself and see what happens....
I don't know how old you are or if you had been trying for a while or not.... if you are over 37 and have been trying for a while then I will consult with a fertility doctor but that may not be your case at all.

GOOD LUCK!!!!
Your hubby will go crazy in love when you have that baby :)  They ALL DO:)