Fertility and Trying to Conceive Community
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178966 tn?1224191913

Just need to vent!!! :o(

If one more person tells me " to just relax, that I'm trying too hard to get pregnant and as soon as I stop trying it'll happen"  I am going to scream!!!!  I get this speech from my mom all the time and from a girl at work today.  Oh yes, did I mention that the girl at work is 5 months pregnant with her second child?? and that she wasn't even trying when she got pregnant?!!  

I feel like noone around me understands.  My cousin is 6 months pregnant with her 3rd child. she had no problem concieving with any of them.  My other cousin's wife just got pregnant without even trying!!  It soo sucks!!  I just want to scream and cry!!  :o(

So what do I do to make myself feel better??  I order chinese. pork egg roll, chicken lo mein, & beef with broccoli.  and for dessert chocolate silk pie! So now of course I am stuffed and feel miserable!!!

Oh well, Hope everyone else is had a better day!!!

12 Responses
15031 tn?1219072889
I HEAR YA.............I am SO sick  of that speech!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I heard it the other day when i went in for yet another blood test from the lady who was taking my last pint! lol!..........she said "ah, dont stress about it, i had all 5 of mine by accident."



hugs :)
270696 tn?1243551620
Yeah, I too heard the same speech.  I have PCOS.  No, if I stop trying it's not going to happen on it's own.  I have to go get the bloodwork done and I have to take the medicine, and temp, and chart, and pee on OPK's.  It's not going to "just happen" for me.  Why can't people understand that.
298462 tn?1259461575
i too have been contemplating screaming at the next person who tells me to just relax!!!!!  i am possibly the most relaxed person on the planet and they're telling me that i need to relax more?  no people!!!!!!  relaxing is not the answer----  at least not for me.  oh!  how about this one-----  "are you pregnant yet?????"  i coworker of mine has repeatedly asked me this one!  finally i had to politley say to her---  "so and so, i promise i will let you know when i am, but for now please don't ask me anymore!"
thanks all!
294043 tn?1354211546
I know exactly how you feel.  Anywhere I look I see pregnant women and women with kids.  Noone seems to have any problem conceiving.  My friend got pregnant while in a long-distance relationship!!!  The way I solve the problem of "helpful advice" from people is by telling noone I am ttc.  I just tell my parents and friends it's not a good time for me to have a child.  This forum is the only place I allow myself to vent.  Just ignore everyone and do what you can to get that BFP.
223372 tn?1240924276
I deal with the frustration by not telling anyone.  I finally told my sister last week after 18 months.  I have one other friend that knows about what I am going through and my dh of course, but that is it....I have decided not to tell parents or friends until things have been decided one way or another.  I cannot take the numerous questions and other "conversations."
237300 tn?1231458318
I really know what you mean...I hear that all the time....my DH is the biggest pusher of that phrase.  He's now telling me I don't need Clomid I need to relax...it's funny you don't hear our RE's saying that, do you?
178966 tn?1224191913
thanks for listening and commiserating with me!!!  nice to know I am not alone.  sometimes I feel so alone with noone to talk to about this other  than DH  

DH is in Philadelphia this weekend helping his dad out. cannot wait to see him on sunday.

going to book store tomorrow to get some reading material.  maybe some fertility books!!   I hear this one called "taking charge of your fertility" is good.  want to be as knowledgable as possible before my dr's appt to review my hsg results..  any suggestions on good books?
Avatar universal
Ovusoft is a web site that is a very good for learning your body, charting for pregnancy or trying to avoid, you can download a trial for 15 days, then if you like it, can buy it for under 40 $. Me and my girlfriend both use it. Hers is  for reasons to concieve and mine is for avoiding. Either way it teaches you  A LOT of info. I know its nice to get away from the comp sometimes so that book you mention and The Art of Natural Family Planning by Kippley are very good.

Good luck, hope they help
Avatar universal
I am right with everyone!!!  I have had so many bad experiences in the last few months that I just might blow!  I first of all wanted to get pregnant, but had to finish my last shot of varivax (for chicken pox...never had them and not about to go through a third pregnancy without the vaccine).  The doc had told me that I would not be able to get pregnant for 6 weeks.  Then I went in and got the shot and they said it was actually three months!!!  Hello?!  Could have told me this before we got our hopes up to try in March!  I had already been off BC to get ready since last November and was all excited.  So we waited until April and didn't get prego but managed to work it out the following cycle and made it through until 9 weeks when I went into my routine u/s (not because anything was wrong) and was expecting to see our little jumping bean. *Here's the tear jerker...This would have been the first baby for my DH (I have two from a previous marriage) and he got down on his knees and kissed my belly and said, "We get to see you today!"  Within an hour we found out the baby was dead and that my body had no idea (HCG at 47,000 with the baby lost two weeks prior) and that I wouldn't miscarry for another 1-4 weeks and so had D&C the following day on July 3rd, then celebrated the 4th the best we could and THEN got married on the 7th.  What a hard week.  To top it off I was already showing (probably because 3rd baby) and was in maternity clothes.  All my wedding pics look like I am prego and I had to continue to wear them so I was asked several times if I was having a baby by people.  Then I just had to relive it all over.  Don't ask me people!!! Then because I work as a floater I had worked with probably 100+ people while pregnant and had to tell all of them.  People would just say , "You're young" or "You'll have another" or whatever.  Being young doen't mean s#$t!  I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 16 and told not to wait to have babies or I might not have them, so as far as I know the timer is ticking at 27 now!  It hurts really bad to be surrounded bypregnant people all the time or have someone walk into the pharmacy to get Plan B or pain meds for an abortion and I have to help them.  I just want to scream at them.  This summer I knew 14 people pregnant...lucky me.  OH AND...when I went to get my D & C done I had to walk through the maternity ward to surgery...AHHHHHH!!!!!   So cruel!  Now we are trying again to get pregnant and am on my tww currently on cycle three past the loss.  My doc actually said that he thought that I wasn't getting pregnant because I was too stressed!  Can you blame me though?!  This month I have been really relaxing.  Every time I start to feel anxiety I tell myself that worrying isn't going to change anything that day and take lots of slow deep breaths and start to think about something else in my life that is going well or that is coming up that is fun and that has really helped.  Or just trying to keep myself out of the situations that cause me stress with others that are pregnant and I cut back my hours.  I am really hoping that this is our month!  Hold on there everybody and I'm sure our time will be right around the corner and please know that if you ever want to vent...I"M HERE!!!!
126702 tn?1240891850
hi guys

my husband is one of 6 and all his siblings have no less than 3 kids.My secret is that no one knows i am ttcing.  I had 2 pregnancy losses last year and of them was the week before the christening of my twin nephews. Life really sucks sometimes but my way of coping is only by letting the people on this forum know. And you know what ....when BFP happens to us, we will all be right here knowing all the challenges we have faced. Good luck everyone.
186627 tn?1257881374
I'm with Helen72 and empty.
None knows we are ttc and I just tell evryone that I'm not ready..even though at almost 35 I'm getting the "you might have problems when you'll be ready" speech...So however you put it PEOPLE do not know when to zip it!!
Avatar universal
To be honest I hate it when people tell me to relax or find a distraction. I was born without a uterus. So there is no way for me to get pregnant naturally. But still people tell me to find something which will help me not to think about my infertility 24/7. How is it even possible not to think about it? Usually people who tell me this have their own children. They will never understand how we feel. This's easy to give advices. I understand they just want to help. But when they say to relax it drives me crazy! I can't relax! I need to do something with my problem! I want to become mother more than anything else! I can't just relax and think about some other things. I will relax only when I will have my baby next to me. I understand that thinking about infertility makes me stressed and depressed all the time. But for now there is nothing I can do about it. Girls I wish all of you to become mothers as soon as possible! Then all these problems will disappear from our lives. And then we will be able to relax and enjoy our lives.
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