Marriage Problems

Question

I've been doing fertility treatments for 2 yrs now. And am on mild hormones right now. But i find myself in these moods sometimes, in which i can't control my anger or sometimes i'm super sad. It's so bad that it's affecting my marriage. I get so angry with my husband, and when i'm in that state I curse and yell at him, use abusive language and sometimes even throw things. I don't know what to do and how to control it. This is so opposite to my norms, I would never use abusive language and have always been quite humble. My husband is quite upset with me because he says he's dissappointed in how much I've changed. Pls help me, does anyone have any advice.

CA25 · Answer

Hi
First thing you need to do is Pray and ask God to open your womb and Thank Him inadvance for doing so. 
Secondly, Tell your doctor about side affect the meds are doing to you
Thirdly, take a break from the meds and treatmens and try natural remedies like herbs and accupuncture.
Fourth, Go out with your husband. date Him again. Spice things up a bit
I know that ttc can me a mind challenge as well as physical but you don't have to kill yourself over it or destroy your marriage.
There are alot of alternatives meds out there to take that are not western.
I don't know your medical history but GOD is ABLE
GOD bless you

babyhope40527 · Answer

Going through infertility and taking meds, hormones - its obvious to have mood swings and to be upset like anyone else. But end of the day, a peaceful day and a peaceful home matters. We may or may not have childre, we live with our partners all our life. So, dont be so mad at him. Try to relax yourself, take a massage, go for accupunture, i know they are expensive, sometimes you may have to spend. Do some yoga, do some gym, you need some healing, and how old are you? also, you got to eat nutritious diet in order to keep up with the meds.

I know it is easy said than done. I had my own hard and bad times with my husband, but poor him, who else can he go to? but, try to be nice to him, love him, see your old photos, remember those early honeymoon days, there are so many things that we can do to love our partners,

good luck, dont ruin the marriage, i have been hearing couples ending up at divorce as a result of infertility, thats the horrible step.

Please help yourself.

babyhope40527 · Answer

I saw that you are 33. I know in India by now, women will have children, so you might be taking lots of pressure, in western countries, 33 is like young, they only worry about infertility when they are 40. so you are young, dont compare with friends of neighbours.

also it sounds like your husband is a soft and nice guy, so dont do this to him dear.

Bless_me · Answer

Hello my dears:

Thanks so much for youe feedback. I think I was really upset when I wrote the above. Actually, it's been quite some time that I've found myself snappy and irritated with my husband. But lately, I feel as though my temperament had gotten the best of me and I'd given into throwing things at him and cursing at him, which I realize is something that's just not acceptable by me first of all and then of course by anyone else. I was really down.  But have decided to give myself time and space and beleive in the power of prayer and God. Also, I was doing iyengar yoga previously and had taken a gap of a month, which I've started again. I'm just taking it easy and focusing on myself.  I think ur right in advising me abt looking thru the old photographs and sitting and taking a deep breath and remembering how much I love my husband. WHy we got married in the first place. At that time we didn't even know abt these fertility issues, we just in love and wanted to be together forever. It's truy important to remember that. We have a history together. 

Actually, yes I do live in Mumbai, India and the general trend is to get married early and pop kids early.  That's prob why my infertility issues are so alien to so many ppl here. I actually don't even discuss it with anyone, but my friends provide a better support than my family here. Family unfortunately means older ppl who just think that there is something wrong with me and don't realise that our problem can stem from both of us.  We have both couple infertility isssues. He has a very low count and I have aged ovaries and I guess even uterus issues. We're trying to deal with both at the same time.  

I grew up in the West, where your education and career came first. I devoted my time to that and met my husband when I was 26. We got married when I was 29, both moved to India after that and have been trying for a baby ever since. Slowly things unraveled and we found out what our infertility issues are. I've done 3 ivf's with all negatives in 2010 and ended up taking a break after doing many other diagnostic tests in 2011. I'll be going for IVF again in March/April.  So fingers crossed for that.

Thanks so much for ur advice, I think acknowledging that things are not right and making the necessary changes is what's required.

babyhope40527 · Answer

Sorry to read about failed IVFs :( I have been reading that there are very good fertility clinics in Mumbai, My IVF ended as a chemical pregnancy, am doing one more now. We both are having issues with sperm as well with egg. but, my problem was narrowed down as egg issues for chemical pregnancy, in your case you may want to know the root cause for your negative result. if current cycle fails, my plan is to go for donor egg, i know its complicated, but we got to deal with it. atleast it will be genetically half our baby. anyways, i hope and pray god for you as well for me. you take care.

keep in touch
love
babyhope

Bless_me · Answer

I'm so sorry to hear that. But the good thing is you were able to detect the issues. I guess you can try alternative protocols and drugs for superovulation. Ur doctor will be ale to guide you. I think the agonist cycle is recommended for egg issues. I know cuz, one of my cycles was agonist and i have egg issues too. Don't worry abt your next cycle failing, be positive and go into it stress free and with only positivity. God willing everything will go well and u'll be giving me some very good news very soon. Love to u and lost of sticky dust ur way.

Yrmacias · Answer

I've recently been diagnosed with PCOs and hormone imbalance. However my periods are regular and i ovulate. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over a year now and three months ago started Chlomid but it has not worked for us. I have also been dealing with mood swings and been an emotional rollercoaster. My husband also tells me he misses the old me and how I'm allowing this to affect and control my life. I'm trying accupuncture n exercising but there's days I don't want to get out of bed. We are scheduled for Uterine Insemination today and if it doesn't work we've decided to take a break and refocus for a bit. I just want to go back to being a happily in love couple like we were a year ago!

babyhope40527 · Answer

Good luck! I wish you get better and feel better and will roll back to old you into a happy life, i know PCOs hormonal imbalance and infertility just ***** our energy out and makes us moody and unhappy. deal with it and fight with it.