Need someone to talk to

[wanttobeamum]

I have been trying to conceive for 2 years now.  I did have an early miscarriage in June 2008 and until recently I was a smoker (2-3 a day).
My husband and I are having tests and so far apart from one stand alone sperm sample that was borderline there seems to be nothing wrong.
I am really struggling however with this gut wrenching desperation and depression that I have every single month.  I know I am not alone but I do not know a single person that has or is going through this and I just wandered if anyone had any advice or indeed knows anything that can improve fertility or the quality of sperm or anything!!!!!

[mommyof3andhopefully4]

Hi there,

Like Kris said in her awesome answer, we all know how you feel.  And I struggled with secondary infertility as well, since July of 2007.  After all kinds of tests (blood work and semen analysis for hubby: clear.  HSG, blood work and exploratory lap: clear) and a few months of fertility meds (clomid, trigger, IUI for 3 months.  Follistim, trigger, IUI for two months, a break for a year and finally on to IVF) I had no reason NOT to conceive.  Sometimes, unfortunately, we have no idea why it isn't happening and that is the most frustrating....you WANT a reason eventually so you can fix it.  

Hubby and I were married in June of 2007, and with three children from a previous marriage I thought it would be no prob Bob getting pregnant!  After 4 months, I knew something was wrong....thinking it would be hubby, I went straight to an RE and he ordered tests for my hubby.  When those all came back clear, we started with me.  It had been 5 years at that point since I had given birth to my third daughter, Jenna....it goes to show that anything can happen in 5 years!

Finally, in August of 2009, we decided we would give IVF a shot.  As expensive as it is, and no insurance, we decided it was now or never.  I stimulated well....so well, that it was almost cancelled.  However, when he did the egg retrieval (ER) I only had 7 eggs.  It only takes one, so I was ok with that, but he was surprised to say the least.  We did ICSI, since we hadn't even conceived during the two years, to help fertilization.  One egg was fragmented, three didn't fertilize (with ICSI) and three did.  We transferred two embryo's five days later, and I am almost 6 months pregnant right now.

I wanted you to know my story, because in the end, our answers didn't come to us until we did IVF....it was/is more than likely an egg issue.  Being the fertile Myrtle I was back in my 20's I never thought that would be the problem, but in the end, it more than likely was.  The IVF decision did NOT come easily.  We knew it was our last step and I never thought we would take it that far, but we did and we are so greatful.  Can't say I would say that if it didn't turn out the way it did though.  

Like Kris said, get as healthy as possible to start.  But, more importantly, you HAVE to have a proactive doctor.  My neice is currently dealing with a doctor that was dragging his feet.  I told her that infertility is a long process since you can only do certain things or tests on certain days.....so be proactive.  Find out the necessary tests, ask for them, and take charge of your fertility!  I did try acupuncture, but it is expensive.  VERY expensive.  It has been clinically proven to help with IVF...so that is when I decided to invest in it.  I wanted to give it everything I had.  I did herbs, vitamins, pills, creams....blah!  It is so frustrating....just keep your head up.

Also, remember that the day will come when you WILL get there!  Keep telling yourself that and believe it!

If you have any questions regarding anything infertility, let me know....

[kris71]

I think everyone on this forum knows what you're going through. it's so hard and most people around you don't understand and won't understand until they go through it themselves. I had a baby very easily first time around (i'm struggling with secondary infertility for almost 2 years) and when a friend was telling me about her fertility problems back then, i told her she probably just needed to relax. Of course now when people tell me that I want to strangle them.You think when you're ready to have a baby it will just happen like it happens for all your family and friends and each month that goes by, you feel more desperate and frustrated.

here is my advice to you: Try to get as healthy as possible (this includes hubby) (quit smoking, eat the right foods, drink lots of water,  take plenty of vitamins especially a prenatal vitamin if you are not taking one already) try to find ways to de-stress. I know this is hard but you hear about the stories of women trying to conceive for years and the minute they give up and/or adopt a child, they get pregnant. My dr said there has to be some validity in that.  Try accupuncture. If nothing else, it helps you relax. lastly, follow up with your RE/DR regularly.  Have you talked about possibilities of doing IUI or IVF?

You may even want to try fertilaid. i haven't tried it but i heard some women have success with it and they also have it for men. it could help improve sperm levels and quality.

Good luck!!

[udbe2]

My husband and I had test ran. His sperm came back good but his morph levels could look better.  The RE told him to take fish oil and a good multivitamin to help out with quality of sperm.