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1287560 tn?1272216521

PREGNANCY AFTER MISCARRIAGE

Helo everyone, as anyone of you will know who's been through a pregnancy loss, i'm not feeling great, just empty, numb, tearful, confused, devastated and guilty. was it my fault for lifting when i was specificaly told not to in the first few weeks.the bleeding started the next day so was it to do with this, i will never know.
we can't afford ivf again, i was £5000+ and stressful and no guarantees it will work again. Anyway Alfie my beautiful 21 mth old son was conceived by a miracle as I hadnt had periods for years due to eating problems. my body weight is low but the dr said with alfie , i just through out a random egg and it was fertilized. everysince he was born we have been trying with no success, they put me on clomid for 6 months which did give me a period every month for  5 months followed by a cyst! probably because i was on it too long. then we went down the ivf route in march/april this year which worked but i've lost it, didnt stay so after getting the BPF it came away 2 weeks later.
both me and my husband distraught and v sad,also my beloved dad died this year unexpectantly after thinking he had gallstones, went in for check up and was diagnosed with pancreatric cancer, died 10 days later. that loss is even more unbearable and my mum is just not coping still, they should have had another 20+ years together, he was only in early 60's.  my mum was over the moon when we got the BPF she said it was gift from dad, but wasnt to be-now i dont know what will happen, we both desperatly want a sibling for alfie, but me conceiving naturally again is so unlikely. we did make love last night as i had stopped bleeding over a week ago but this morning there is blood, gp said is due to vigerous movement i.e intercourse and it is nothing to worry about probably a bit left over from the miscarriage.  sorry to tell u all full story, but want any advice on getting pregnant again, have any of you had eating problems and got pregnant, or had miscarriage and got pregnant quite soon after, i'm now just 41 so really at the end scale to conceive naturaly, do you think i should just admit defeat and be thankful for what we have,and don't get me wrong we are so, so, so greatful for alfie, is it so wrong to want a sibbling. if any of you can help me at this awful time again i wil be really greatful, lots of you have been so kind recently with your posts.
thank you melissa  
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Avatar universal
Hi Melissa. I want to tell you that you don't have to feel guilty at all for your lost, because the truth is that you'll never know the reason, there are so many reasons and it is so common to have miscarriages that you can't hurt yourself. I had a miscarriage 11 years ago, at 8 weeks, and now I did my second IVF, the blood test for today was positive, I don't have any child so this is everything for me, will see what happens this time. I think you should still trying to conceive naturally, miracles could happen more than once in life, so in the meantime you can save money for another  IVF. And remember that even all this process has been so painful for you, you have a beautiful Alfie with you, that is an amazing support. Keep hoping and don't stop trying ! I am here whenever you want !
Helpful - 0
1287560 tn?1272216521
Thank you for taking time to reply. We will always be greatful for alfie who is the most special, adorable little boy in the world.we do know this. But is it so wrong to try and want another, some people have 4, 5, 6, 7+ kids and they just live off benefits and even have kids just to get these benefits! love and wanting arent a part of it.
we will try natuarlly, def no more ivf(we actually have some money from my fathers will but we always agreed just 1 attempt)-i may go back on clomid for couple months later in the year, it gave me a cyst last time but thats because i was on it for 6 months.
really excited for you, it gives me great comfort when others get good news, you take it easy, i know everyone says i couldnt have prevented my mc but i did lift alfie alot the day before it happened, a real lot, up and down the village.keep me posted with your progress and any tips you can give me.take good care melissa
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Avatar universal
Of course there is nothing wrong to want to have another child, that's why I told you "don't stop trying". I think it could be amazing for Alfie to have a brother or sister !!! You will have luck !! The problem with the IVF is that sometimes you need to do one or more to have success, just a few people have luck in the first IVF, we have to be patient and work for our dream. Wish you the best !!
Helpful - 0
1287560 tn?1272216521
Thank you again for your reply, me and my husband have been talking all afternoon about losing our "embie" and what our next steps will be considering the mc, my age, my reproductive system, our finantial situation(having been left some money from dad) and other factors. we initially said only one attempt at ivf, but after talking and the fact that the ivf did work, i just unfortunaly miscarried and will never know if it was due to all that lifting(as i miscarried the following day) or the embryo was abnormal, we have decided to talk to our consultant about a possible second attempt in a few months time. As I have been told by friends and have read on this site you are infact more fertile after a mc, so we are going to try naturally for the next few months and if nothing by august go for ivf once more, and just once more.This really gives me some my hope as my husband was adament only the 1 ivf but like i said it did work i just miscarried. keep me updated with yoursxxxx
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Avatar universal
I'm so happy to read you !! I'm so glad you and you DH re considered the possibility to go for another IVF in a few months, you will have success again in your life !!!
I will update my results from next Monday !
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