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1057389 tn?1325465587

Painful sex & TTC

I am posting this for my sister. She has been trying to get pregnant for 2-3 years. She did get pregnant about 1.5 years ago, but sadly it ended in a miscarriage.

When she has sex with her husband it is very painful. She has tried different lubrications etc. She has gone to the doctor several times. Her husband has also been checked out. Both of their doctors say there is nothing wrong. They are unsure what is causing the pain.

Her husband is divorced...his ex-wife had the same problem...sex was very painful and she too had a miscarriage.

She has been TTC for so long and i wondered if whatever is causing the pain could also be causing the miscarriage or infertility?

She has been taking clomid for about 5 months and has had Laporoscopy surgery.

I wanted to see if anyone else has went through anything similar and have any advice.
TTC they are having to have sex A LOT, and it is very difficult for her because the pain is exrutiating at times.
9 Responses
790669 tn?1465189099
I just wanted to comment, even though I know I can't help.  I to have ALOT of pain when DH and I have sex.  It's been that way for years and he's the only one I've ever been with.  Another thing, I have not been able to conceive either ever since I've been married.  We just celebrated our 12th anniversary.  I did have a "pre-term" miscarriage about a year after we were married and that's the closest I've ever been to being pregnant.  I also thought there was something up with all the pain and hurting and not getting pregnant. Like you said, having to have sex alot to get pg, but when the pain is that bad, you just dread it. I did notice that certain positions were helpful.  Sorry for the TMI but I was not able to be on top at all!!  The ONLY position that was the less painful was us being on our sides.

I too have had laparoscopy and hysteroscopy only because after having severely painful periods and over time I started bleeding inbetween periods they found mild endometriosis, a polyp in the middle of my uterus and a cyst on my fallopian tube.  I thought "GREAT, got that out now to getting pregnant".  Well no luck yet and that was over a year ago. :(   The pain with the sex is still there and no one can tell me why.

Did they find anything when they did her laparoscopy?  I really hope she's able to conceive soon.  I always assumed it would happen naturally and it didn't.   Anyways, I don't want to ramble on, just if she finds out anything please pass it on and again, I hope she gets her BFP soon!!  
1351105 tn?1277142905
I too had the same problems. I had suffered a miscarriage a little over 6 yrs ago before I met my DH. I suffered from painful sex, periods etc. I however was lucky enough to have my son. After he was 7 months old went in for a laparos. and was diagnosed with mild/moderate endometriosis. It took less amount of time to conceive my son than it is ttc again with the second. The endo caused my periods to disappear meaning no ovulation. We have been ttc for 2 yrs next month. I tried Clomid for a few rounds with fail, took a break from fertility drugs for a bit and started up another fertility drug Femara with knock on wood no side effects. Sex is still a difficult task for me and position doesn't matter for me, there's no relief no matter which way we have it. Sorry for the tmi and sorry that I wasn't much help. But it does take a lot of testings to find out the case of what's causing it. I hope that she gets a BFP, sending prayers and baby dust her way.
1057389 tn?1325465587
Im sorry you both are going through something similar. I too had a difficult time getting pregnant. It took me 4 years, lap surgery, clomid, then on to injectables with insemination...then i finally got my miracle (double miracles).
But i can not imagine going thru infertility PLUS painful sex.

She too dreads it and just wants it over with as quick as possible.
Her husband thought it was him because when he was married before he met my sister said the same thing. It was extremely painful...then the fact that she too had a miscarriage is kind of weird. We are thinking its something with his sperm or something. He had himself checked and said everything was normal. But something isnt right.
My sister had had one pervious partner before meeting her husband and said never any problems with pain.

I hope you both get your BFP's soon. I really do know what it feels like to go month after month and year  after year with no success. Its such a depressing thing to go through.

If we find anything out i will surely pass on the info.

I forget to mention: with her lap surgery they found nothing. Just very very minimal endometriosis (nothing that would cause her to not be able to get pregnant)
1057389 tn?1325465587
oops type
The 2nd paragraph should read
"Her husband thought it was him because he was married before he met my sister and his ex wifre said the same thing"
1351105 tn?1277142905
It took me months make that years to learn how to ignore the pain that goes with sex. Some times it's still hard to ignore it but with me concentrating on my husband instead of me makes it easier sorry for the tmi. Right now waiting until my 2ww is over. Getting a little anxious.
I think a bit more testing should be done for the both of them. I'm not an expert or anything but I do agree that something isn't right. Even abnormal cells on the cervix can cause painful sex along with so many more reasons. I would get a second opinion. I have a few other problems that I'm going through aside from the endo. which causes painful sex. Not sure if this will help but have her ask her dr to check for hpv, PID, or something around those lines.
1057389 tn?1325465587
Thank you ...i appreciate that.
I looked those two up and the PID sounds like something i think she should check out. I will share both with her.
1351105 tn?1277142905
Your welcome, I hope that her dr will help her find out the cause. When my dr kept saying it was nothing I went out and kept looking for another dr to get another opinion and once the other dr found the initial problem and I told my other one she kept saying that one is wrong there's nothing wrong with you. I eventually left her and stayed with the one that has helped me. It takes time and many drs until you find the one who is willing to listen and work with you. I'm praying for your sis and her hubby that they will find what is the real cause. Also sending baby dust her way
1057389 tn?1325465587
I have fwd this to her email and hope she will join this community. I really hope she finds answers soon.

Wishing you the best. Thank you so much. Will send updates as i get them :)
1351105 tn?1277142905
I hope she finds her answer really soon too. You are very welcome. Will be waiting for those updates :) Would love to know if she gets the answers she's looking for, it'll be one more step to knowing what's causing the situation. Still sending prayers and best wishes.
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