Trying to Conceive

[homiey]

Hi, I just started TTC this month so I am not overly worried if it didn't work this time. . .plus we are quite stressed since we are moving out of the province again.  

Anyway, my questions are:

How much does stress impact fertility?
What are the main differences between pregnancy symptoms and period signs?
What is the earliest one can tell if she is preg.?
What can be recommended to reduce stress and increase fertility?  

[homiey]

hi again.  Do you mind if I ask why your first husband passed away?  I am sorry to hear that.  Also, what is clomid?  Well, about being twins. . .well. . .we are identical and I especially would try to pull away from her.  I wanted to be different.  I found her too needy but the strange thing was we took turns all our lives. . .when she would throw a hissy fit about something that would last many days, I would stand back and watch in surprise and then when she was the sweetest person, I was the one who was moody and such. . .As we got older, we got on better but in very different ways. . .Let me put it this way. . .after a fight, we didnt need mommy to mend it anymore and we would realize ourselves that we are sisters and cant stay mad at the other. . .as for fighting less. . .nope. . .sorry. . .I am currently living in Vancouver, BC and my sister is in Toronto and she phones me everyday and complains that I never phone her and then I tell her that she never gives me a chance lol. . .so there certainly is a lot of co-dependency. . .and she has always been slightly more dependent.  I thought her having a baby would change all that but it doesnt.  She still calls me all the time and I understand that she is alone right now going through momhood and she has her husbands family but she does resent me for not being there and she resents our mom too because mom wasnt there for the birth either.  Our mom is German and moved back to Germany 4 years ago when she split from our father and became lovers with her high school sweetheart again.  She couldnt fly back home for the birth but she will fly home this summer to see her grandson for the first time.  But I have to hear about the resentment and I tell her that that is life and that we love her just the same. . .Our perspectives about our childhood are also completely different.  She is much more critical of our mother and I think that all parents try their best and in the end, an adult can only blame herself.  There comes a point where pple have to stop blamming their mothers. . .My sister doesnt quite get this. . .And what is also interesting is when we reminise about the same thing, there are two completely different versions of the same story. . . . I could write a book. . .I cant even put into words and articulate what it is like to be a twin.  But our mother always refered to our relationship as a sort of unrequited courtship whereby we took turns pushing and pulling towards one another but never were we insinc.  

Now I am writing a book.
homiey

[TWINMOM99]

The screen name twinmom99... is in reference to me having twin girls in '99.  I have an 18yr son,, got prego in high school...one of my earliest wrong turns in life... but wouldn't change it... he makes his mom proud... then almost 9yrs later... I was trying to become prego and we had to take clomid... second month we became pregnant... with TWINS...yeah.  My husband knew I was preggo... before he passed but I didn't find out it was twins.. till like 2 weeks after he passed.  He passed when I was only 7wks pregnant.  So anyhow... I have remarried... been remarried for 3.5 yrs.. and this will be my husbands first baby... so I have quite a spread between all my kids...lol  If i only become pregnant with one this time around I will want to try for another right away...and then I am gonna hang up my baby making days...lol  Now if we have twins or such... this will be it.. I want to make sure this baby has a sibling close to them also.  When we want something so badly we tend to try to connect any dots we can to make it happen.  I tell myself I am not going to get worked up and that I am gonna relax.. and let it happen when it does.. but once that darn 2ww comes... I am back on the same train.. looking for SIGNS...lol.  My husband is a truck driver and is home periodically so we have been off on our bedding the last couple months... It seems he may be home at prime time this month... so I am feeling confident about this month.  He is getting frustrated... He doesnt really get it all... but that is a man for ya for sure...  With your sister did you's find that you's became more closer once you's were older...?  My girls try their hardest to be different on purpose...  they tend to agrue .... I want them to be close and be there for each other... and I hate it when they aren't getting along.  Well I didn't intend to write such a book... so I apologize....lol

[homiey]

Hi, I was just wondering where you came up with the nickname twinmom99.  the reason I ask is because I am a twin.  My twin sister had a baby last year.  this has sort of made me jealous but not really because at the time she got pregnant, I was going through a lot and really wasnt ready.  But now I am ready.  But the thing that really spoke volumes for me when I saw my twin going through motherhood was how we are both changing and I always knew we were separate people but being an identical twin and seeing her experience something totally different from me for the first time was very hard.  Especially something as personal as being a mother.  So I got myself a dog to make me feel better.  Also, I know what you mean about all symptoms sounding like what you have.  We get caught up in waiting for symptoms.  Every woman is different I know but still when you look on the websites, all symptoms may mean just a stomach flu. . .know what I mean. . .????  how often have you experienced nausia?  many times right?!  Same with late periods?  Anybody can have late periods if she is stressed.  My breasts have been sore and I thought could I be pregnant????  but then I looked on line and it said that you will also notice your nipples and around your nipples becoming darker. . . well that I didnt notice and so I thought maybe this sore breast thing is all in my head.  So I asked others who are now moms what their first symptoms of pregnancy were and one person said a missed period and for her that is rare.  She said that was the only major thing she noticed that told her she was preg.  After she already knew, came the sore breasts, nausia etc. . .For my sister, well her period was always late and she is a high stress person naturally so for her, what really told her to consult a doctor was when she could no longer stand the smell of coffee and chocolate.  When she smelled them, she would become sick.  By the time she found out she was preg.  she was already 8 weeks.  Another woman I asked said her first symptom was extreme tiredness that just came out of nowhere.  My sister said for her too but that wasnt her first clue. . .I mean extreme tiredness could also be hypothyroidism or just the changing of the seasons.  
Anyway, I guess the only way to know for sure for sure is by a really really really late period.  

[Nat256]

I apologize if I took what you meant the wrong way. I read it entirely differently than how you are stating your feelings here. I really read it as being that I was a fool for relying on statistics and that I should be keeping track of my body and trusting what my own body is going through rather than what I've been reading. And that upset me because I can't trust my body for anything. I really wish that I could monitor myself but I can't so I feel so completely and totally out of control. I'm sorry I know I'm probably way too uptight and stressed out right now and just took what you had written the wrong way. I see know that was not at all how you meant it. I'm sorry.

[TWINMOM99]

Oh my!  You may have taken me wrong.  It sounds like I have upset you which was not at all my intent.  Maybe it was sort of me venting in response to some frustration I was feeling.  I was just theorizing the whole "trying conceive" info available to us all out there.  One minute we are being pointed in one direction and then find ourselves, at times, being swayed in another direction because of something else we have heard or read.  I look at all the same things you have looked at I am sure.  I have had myself convinced I was pregnant for the last 3mos... just because I went searching for info on the symptoms I was having or looking into some new idea I have read or come across to help my chances more.  Been there and done that.  Stress is a big big part of all this and it gets to all of us one way or another.  We all want the same thing in the end here.... and I am not at all putting you down for anything... So I apologize if I have offended you in any way.

[Nat256]

I would just like to point out that I had to use statistics to use scientific probability to come to the decision to not try to pursue my husband having a biological child, to make the decision to use a sperm donor, and to make the decision to have surgery to determine if I had endometriosis or not. People use these types of numbers every day to help them in making a decision. I don't think their is anything wrong with that. I also think that is really very hard to "go with the flow" when you are facing the prospect of childlessness. This is a very real threat to myself and my husband as we have NO children at all and so I may not ever get to experience pregnancy or playing Santa Claus. I can't monitor my cycles myself. I have PCOS. I've had 5 doctor's appointments in the past two weeks and I have to go in tomorrow for yet more blood work and another ultrasound. This is hard for me and I can't just do it myself. I am stressed out even though I try not to be. I was scheduled to have had my second IUI two and half weeks ago and I"m still having problems getting to even be able to ovulate and the meds. I"m taking, they make me really sick. So I'll take every tool, every stat., everything at my disposal if it makes this just a little bit easier.

[Nat256]

You're so sweet. I really appreciate all of the luck and well wishes. I don't normally ovulate so they're having to force me to ovulate with drugs and then they monitor me at the doctor's office really, really closely with bloodwork and ultrasounds to see when I am actually ovulating. I wouldn't worry about a thing if I were you. I would just have fun and give it a little while. :)  If you do want to track your cycle though I think they have an ovulation tracker on here? And you can buy the home kits. I really don't know anything about them but there are a lot of women that I've seen on this forum who talk about using them... I'm so closely monitored though (because I have to be) that it would really just be a waste of money for me to buy one, you know? Yeah I didn't think it would be this difficult either even though I knew I had problems because like you said, it seems like everywhere you go somebody is getting pregnant!!!! And yeah I've heard the same thing about people getting pregnant really easily on vacation. Which, I agree with you in saying that does make sense. See, you have a GREAT excuse to take a vacation now :)

[Nat256]

Looking at stats. for me is like getting an estimate for something. I want a quote. I want to be able to budget and to plan ahead so to say you only have around a 20% shot per cycle that tells me OK buy 6 specimens of donor semn plan for that and then I can hiope that that will be all I need for two children but I know better than to be upset if it will only produce one or even none at all.

[Nat256]

Yeah I agree this is true. I believe that Mark Twain had it right when he said there are lies, damned lies, and statistics. But.... I also like to look at those statistics and use them as a tool of measurement to be taken with a grain of salt. I noted that the 30,000 live births from sperm donor came with a lot of comments behind it because that was one of the FEW stats that I found relating to infertility, sperm donor, etc... that was really, really, really open to various interpretation. Of course ANYTHING is possible but I don't think there is any harm in being well informed. It makes me feel better to note that on average the success rate for pregnancy per cycle is only about 20% because I realize that if it doesn't happen the first time it doesn't mean that it won't. I don't quote statistics to try to make myself look or feel smart or to boost my ego because that really doesn't do it for me. I just like to know what I'm in for. Thanks.

[TWINMOM99]

Everything is mainly an estimation.  When they quote statistics it is really isn't the RULE it is the EXCEPTION...LOL  Everyone's body is so different in so many ways... which is they way it was intended for I purpose I believe.. that no matter what we read or what were told it is never for certain.  I tracked my cycles for 4 months now.. and I am just now starting to begin to figure out how my body works and what I can expect POSSIBLY...LOL.  So go with the flow, have faith, and stay positive.  What is meant to be will be.

[homiey]

Wow. . . .I had no idea that it would be that difficult for some people.  btw, I also married at 22.  The reason we didnt have kids sooner is because we just werent ready.  we were doing the withdrawal method just until Feb. of this year.  But then we were timing it so I wouldnt get pregnant. But now I want to get pregnant to we just decided to have sex as often as possible.  It has been good for our sex life but still it gets frustrating especially when my breast are sore, I feel dizzy and my period is late and these are some of the symptoms of pregnancy but it turns out that I may not be pregnant.  Alot of the symptoms of preg. is similar to the cycle beginning.  Also as I read on the internet, it is very hard for people who want to have a baby to recognize symptoms because they are wanting to be preg. so bad, that everything becomes a symptom.  that is the frustrating part. But I heard that most pple. get preg. while on vacation because they are away from stress.  that does make sense actually.  And after conception does take place, I really dont know how soon symptoms start. . .they only way to tell at first is a missed period which can also be late due to stress.  Then there is the recognition of ovulation and paying attention to the body. And going on line about ovulation is frustrating as well because there are only scare stories about pple who dont ovulate and for no explained reason at all.  But then again, some pple ovulate 2 times as well. . .well. . . .the way I am looking at it now is just to have sex often and see what happens.
I really feel for you and how hard you are working for this.  It is good that your husband in 100% with you on this and that you support one another.  That is love.  I wish you guys the best of luck.  I have heard many success stories with having a sperm donor.   But you still have to wait until you ovulate to put it in right?  Do you know when you ovulate?  a med expert said that the most fertile days for any woman is days 11-16. . .but what if you dont have a perfect 28 day cycle?  mine is 40-45 days. . . .I always heard that ovulation is 2 weeks before your next period. . .I heard that from a doctor.  Why do pple. make it so complicated?

[Nat256]

OH goodness. I really didn't realize that I had written that much until I hit the post comment button!!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to write a book! You probably didn't want to know ALL of that!!!!! Sorry

[Nat256]

I'm 30 as well. I married my husband when I was 22 and he was 28 and he was ready right away for children but I was just finishing up college and I wasn't ready yet. Then he had an accident at work and then later he hurt his back so we had a lot of medical bills come rolling in and it was just one thing and then another. About three years ago we decided to try so I went to my OB/GYN and said look, we don't use anything to prevent pregnancy. I wasn't on any pills, nothing and we've been married for several years now and nothing's happening. And of course he already knew all about my PCOS so he said well let's do some tests. So he did blood tests and then he scheduled an HSG for me which is where they run dye through you to make sure that your fallopian tubes aren't blocked so that everything can get through. That came back good. So my doctor said well the PCOS is going to make the fertility doctor have to use drugs to enduce ovulation but let's make sure everything is OK with your husband so that once we get you to ovulating we will be able to use his semen. So they did a sperm analysis and it came back 0. So my OB/GYN sent my husband to see a urologist. He said that a lot of times there can be a blockage that will cause a 0 sperm count result. He said that if it was due to a blockage (like a varococle vein) then a lot of times that can be repaired. So when my husband saw the urologist he examined him for a few minutes and said everything's normal and then conducted some blood tests and did another sperm analysis hoping the first one was a fluke. It came back at 0. My OB/GYN said in over 15 years of doing this he's only seen one or two other cases like this and that it was extremely rare. So the urologist said no sperm due to testicular failure but his testosterone level everything else was normal. When we saw the RE my OB/GYN highly recommended and referred us to then the RE ran all kinds of blood tests on us. They did genetics testing on my husband and they came back and said it appears you have several xxy chromosomes and although it's not affecting anything else and it won't cause you any health problems, will not cause low testerome, etc... it just prevents your body from producing sperm. So my husband told them he said well I was married before, and my first marriage we were trying and they did a test and it came back low. And the doctor started asking where he was tested at because he was wanting to see the tests and my husband told him that was a very long time ago when he was just out of high school and that they were married less than a year and then she left and that the test was done through her OB/GYN and so he has no earthly idea who it was that did the test or how to find out. So our RE said that well, it could be possible that at one point long ago he may have been producing some but it would have been low and they probably wouldn't have been great. He said that he could go in and they could try to find maybe you know, a few that he might have in there but we just felt like that would have been a waste of money and time. The urologist flat out said, look I could do this and that but you would just be wasting your money and time so his honestly just made it that much easier for us. So.... in the middle of all of this my husband lost his job, they fired all of them due to the economy. This was about a year ago and we had had all of the tests done and seen the urologist but we hadn't even met with the RE yet. So we got a little behind on bills and wanted to get caught up and make sure we were in good shape financially before going back. Then we were ready to go back to my OB/GYN to talk to him about getting started again when this past November I had a period that wouldn't end and was really heavy. The thing is that because of the PCOS this is actually pretty normal for me. So it would start and then just when I was getting ready to see my doctor it would stop, then start, then stop. So after Christmas I went to my OB/GYN and he said I'm 99% sure you have endometriosis but the only way I can diagnose you is with a laproscopy. They cut two small incisions and then go in with a tiny camera and flip over all of my organs that they can get to in order to see where and if the endo is there and if it is then where it is growing. So I had surgery in February to diagnose but also to remove a lot of tissue and scar tissue buildup. The endo was starting to do damage to my left tube. So my OB/GYN said look, you're ready to have a baby anyway right? I said yes. He said well really for endo. there's not really a lot you can do for it. You can treat it with bc pills or the best thing and the only thing that will put it into remission you can get pregnant. So he referred us to our RE and we had to pick out a sperm donor and buy the sperm, etc... then we started on these fertility drugs.  So, yeah I tell my husband that my biological clock never really did start ticking for me, it just kind of blew up in my face.

[Nat256]

You know though you don't have to worry about any of that just yet. If things don't happen in a year then you'll probably need to go ahead and see a fertility specialist because they can tell you if it's your husband or if it's something going on in your body. I mean you still might can not get pregnant and there be nothing wrong with your husband's sperm, if you tubes are blocked or something. They'll have to test both of you to determine what's wrong because there's no point in getting a sperm donor if your tubes are blocked or something. And even if his sperm is low they can do a lot of things like concentrating and washing it and giving you a double IUI. We didn't have that option. If my husband's sperm had of been low then I would have gone that route but it turns out that due to some weird genetic thing he has 0 sperm count so really our options were 1.) adoption 2.) sperm donor or 3.) embryo transplant or whatever they call that where they plant an embryo from another couple into you
I'm really not familiar with that one as I'm sure you can tell :)

[Nat256]

To be honest, I really don't remember the stats exactly. I think it was around 30,000 estimated live births in the US each year from a sperm donor. But I have no idea what the number is for Canada. I do remember that that stat came with a very long explanation of how it was just basically a guesstimate and that they didn't really have a way of knowing for sure. I believe privacy issues were a factor. But I do know that all of the sperm banks require you to report a pregnancy and you sign a contract saying that you will so they can monitor it. They only sell so much from any one donor and then that's it. Also, they have geographical restrictions. They aren't going to send too much to any one location due to fear of inter-mingling between half brothers and sisters which the stats for that occurring are so low that it's not even really a concern of mine. I don't think you have to worry about that yet though!!!!!! Hopefully you'll get pregnant in a month or two, no problems!!!!    I'm 30 as well. I live in the US, in the state of Alabama. I don't know the average number of units it takes. Our RE (fertility specialist, Reproductive Endocronologist), he said that some women are lucky and the first one takes but that the norm is for it to take on the 2nd or 3rd time but that for some women it can take up to 6 times. The high success rate of IUI is after it's been spread out over 6 treament cycles. I think it's something like 86% but I could be wrong there, it's been a while since I've looked it up and of course different sites will give you slightly different stats. One cycle of IUI is about as much chance of a couple trying to conceive naturally with nothing wrong with them so that's pretty good considering everything. Our RE told us to purchase 6 units so we did. I'm really hoping it will take this next time and we can conceive two children with those 6. I'm hoping anyway :)

[homiey]

Thank you very much.  all this info has been really healthy and I will post more questions up.  My Husband and I have decided to go the sperm donor route if after a year of trying and still nothing.  we prefer that to adoption ourselves because it is affortable and we can experience pregnancy.  Do you know that statistics of how many successful pregnacies are concieved this way?  and to the number of units it takes to get the average girl pregnant?
Well, I am actually Canadian.  I am from Toronto. but I am sure that procedures are the same.  
If you dont mind me asking,  how old are you?  I am 30 years old and the biological clock is ticking. . .  but a lot of women dont have babies these days until well after 30.  that gives me some peace of mind.  

[Nat256]

Oh, a word of caution on herbs. Be VERY CAREFUL. I would be extremely hesitant to take herbs without first consulting a doctor AND a pharmacist and that would be after giving them an extensive list of any other meds. that I might be on. Some herbs actually have abortive properties and the ancient Romans actually used just one such herb to cause abortions. The herb was so popular that it's now extinict. Or at least that's what they said on the History Channel. There was nothing on TV that night. :)   Anyway, I'm not saying all herbs are bad but my mom thinks that if it's "natural" it's usually safe but she's the one who warned me on this one. When I was trying to take birth control pills they made me so depressed that I started taking St. John's Wort. I'll still take it from time to time to help with a mild case of the blues (as this is also a symptom of PCOS) but it's a serious herb. You don't take it for like two weeks before surgery or if you're only any type of other medication for anything else because it can seriously mess with the effectiveness of the other meds. The problems with herbs and other "natural" solutions is that they aren't regulated (at least in the US that's the case). You know you heard about all of the Hydroxycut stuff and the recalls. Some of those deaths were about two years old. The FDA only checks on these "supplements" after complaints are filled, etc... What I would do is start taking a good pre-natal vitamin. It'll get your body ready!!!!!!

[Nat256]

Yeah, I think you're right about the 4 to 5 month thing. My RE said six cycles and if it doesn't work then we need to talk about maybe what else to do. I think that's a good question about whether or not a day or so before your period is too late. Unfortunately, I am the last person to answer that. I don't monitor at all so I have no earthly idea. I just didn't learn how to monitor because with my cycles all out of whack there's no way that I can actually monitor myself. Not really.That's why I have to go to the doctor's office so much once I finish taking the meds. They always do an ultrasound and bloodwork on me. I know that you can buy self monitoring kits, ovulation detector kits. But, I don't know much about it. You should post another question about it up on the forum. There are a lot of women on this forum trying to get pregnant with timed intercourse and they could tell you a TON about those ovulation kits and using a tracker or charting your temperature all of that. :) Let me know how it goes!!!

[Nat256]

Sperm donor cost. It varies. There are several large, well respected banks. The one that impressed me the most was Fairfax Cryobank of Virginia. The have a doctorate donor program where all of the donors either have or are working on a doctoral degree. Those were in the 400 - 500 dollar range per unit. On the other end of the scale, we bought 6 units at $235 each from a very nice and very intelligent man who is a firefighter and certified what is it, the emergency med. techs. or whatever? Anyway, he's great. We loved his profile, his childhood photo, adult shilouette, donor essay question answers, medical and family history. Etc... So we spent $1,410 total for the sperm itself. Each time they ship it it's $150 plus a $45 handling fee to take it out of storage. A year of storage is somewhere around $300 per year but we go the first year's free because we bought enough specimens all at once so that was good. That was through Fairfax's sister company, Cryogenic Labs. They're in together anyway because Cryo Labs came in together with Fairfax back in 2002? (Maybe it was '01) so it's all going to be overseen by the same people.

[Nat256]

I really don't know about diets. I mean my OB/GYN and my RE said just very, very little to no caffeine so I had to give up a two coffee cup a day habit and that was hard. I have PCOS and is typical of PCOS I do have weight struggles. I recently lost 24 pounds but the PCOS makes it really difficult to take it off. I just try to eat low calorie, low sugar, low fat. We recently swtiched to using turkey bacon and I've just went back to doing lower fat cheese and using skim milk, drinking only water (or I have some Crystal Light for dinner!) etc... I think I might check into buying the Fertility Diet book that mamom15 was talking about. I don't know about myself as far as being a strong person. I don't feel very strong at all right now because I'm really at the mercy of my own lousy body. But I will take that as a compliment :) There are a lot of women on this forum who are having to go through a LOT more than myself. IUI from what I understand is MUCH easier than IVF. They're the ones that I guess I look at as being strong. We did consider adoption but my husband really, really wanted to go this route. He wanted to be able to experience pregnancy along with me and he wanted for me to have that as well. Plus he was afraid of all of the drug use, STDs, emotional scarring, and the possbility of an adoption reversal. I mean maybe that's not politically correct but these are real issues when it comes to adoption or at least it was for us when deciding to go IUI. Plus it's cheaper to go IUI than adoption. My husband did some work for a couple a few months before we started in with the fertility treatments and the man was a lawyer and he and his wife had just adopted two little boys, they were around 3 and 4 yrs. old and that was the youngest they could get. His boss had used this lawyer's services when he adopted his two children (ages 3 and 5) and the oldest, the little boy, had been beaten to the point of broken bones by his biological father and has a lot of emotional problems. They swaped out services, my husband's boss the lawyer did. My husband works for a plumbing company, he's a plumber, and the lawyer had his entire bathroom redone, so that had to be around $8,000 to $10,000 worth of work (labor only) and that's here in Alabama where a gallon of milk is $2.75 or so. So, the costs were a huge factor. We haven't ruled adoption out completely but I personally feel that a huge portion of the adoption "market" has become nothing more than buying babies. It's very sad. Now like I said I haven't gone through this so maybe my view is way off target here and maybe I'm just being influenced by negative stereotypes but....

[homiey]

Thank you very much for your comments and I know you werent trying to scare me.  I am sorry that you have had difficulty and that you have to go through this all.  You seem like a very strong person, however who knows what she wants and who explores all alternatives.  
Well, we have only been trying one month as you know and so I am not too worried yet.  I have heard that it can take the average woman up to 4 or 5 months of trying before getting pregnant.  
As for diet, well. . .do you have any advice on Diets. . .I know spinach is good no matter what but are there foods that help with fertility?  do herbs help?  What about herbal tea?  I try to stay away from caffeine.  
Also, I have been married for 8 years as well come June 16.  We just put off having kids because there were other things going on like traveling, stress with the in laws, searching for that right career etc. . .but now we are at a place where we can manage and have the confidence to just maintain what we have and still go after our dreams while giving everything of ourselves to another human being. . . .  
Well, I will stay positive and I hope you do as well.  How much does it cost to go to a sperm donor if you dont mind me asking?  
Have you also explored adoption?  

My husband and I initially planned to have sex everyday to increase chances but you know how things are. . .but we are regularly once or twice a week.  Btw, do you know what the chances of concieving are just before the period...?  Ovulation occurs 2 weeks before the period and I recognize the signs because of cervical mucus, feeling very horny, feeling hotter etc. . . .  but what about if you have intercourse a day before your anticipated period?  do you think one could still concieve?

[Nat256]

I would say that if you think the best approach for you is to just take things easy for a while and see what happens then that's what you should do. But if you are looking for tips on how to get pregnant then I do think it would be probably beneficial for you to learn how to chart yourself or look into some other gentle helpful tips like a diet geared toward fertility. Like I said I wasn't trying to scare you with that 20% stat. That's just something that helped me feel better after my first IUI failed. That was just one cycle (one month) that doesn't mean anything. Stay positive :) It'll all be OK.

[Nat256]

You certainly don't have anything to worry about just yet. It could take you a while but you wouldn't be diagnosed with being infertile until you had been trying for at least a year and nothing was happening. I always knew I would have problems because of the PCOS. So, for me it wasn't an issue of am I going to have a problem but to what extent will this problem be. You can certainly take the laid back approach of just having fun and waiting. I think that the benefit of educating yourself on how to self monitor so you can tell when you are ovulating (and thus when to have sex) would be that you can take more control (and maybe not worry as much?) and therefore you would have a greater chance of getting pregnant more quickly. I wasn't trying to throw that 20% success rate per month to scare you. I really just meant it as encouragement that just because it hasn't doesn't mean that it won't. A month of trying with no success (ESPECIALLY, since you don't know what times you are fertile) isn't indicative of anything.

[Nat256]

We have been married 8 years (in July). I only took birth control pills for about the first year of married. Along the same time I was diagnosed with PCOS. Fast forward to about two years ago (sometime in early '07)I had an HSG done to see if my tubes were blocked. They weren't. Actively we've been trying for about two and half to three years. We found out my husband has 0 sperm (azoospermia) due to genetic factors. So we started checking into donors, trying to choose. Then last February I had to have surgery due to endometriosis. So we finally picked a donor, paid for 6 specimens and I had starting taking clomid to make me ovulate the end of April. May 4, I had my first IUI which came back negative. An IUI stands for intrauterine insemination, think artificial insemination. Same thing. They place a thin flexible catheter into the cervix and inject washed sperm directly into the uterus. It helps because the sperm don't really have to swim as far. But on average with one cycle of having an IUI done the stats. are about the same as trying to conceive naturally, about 20% per month. Yes, that is correct. I've seen some numbers as low as 13% and some as high as 25% per month but on average 20% per month (or cycle really) would, in fact, be correct. No one really and truly knows why some people get pregnant at the drop of a hat and others don't. There are some people who according to all of the tests should be having no problems and yet they can't and don't concieve. They have what's called unexplained infertility. Overall I think the average percentage of those in the US and the UK suffering from infertility is something like 10%, so one in every ten people or ten people for every hundred, etc., etc... So it is a big problem for a lot of people.