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Using Donor Egg--Transfer 1 embryo or 2


I am new to the site and to the world of IVF and am hoping to gain some insight from those of you out there who have gone through this.  I am currently 42 years old and found out a week ago today that our IVF transfer did not work.  My husband and I decided to use donor eggs to give us the best chance of getting pregnant and having a healthy baby.  Our donor is 25 years old and a proven donor.  We started with 25 eggs, 16 fertilized and 5 went to the 5 day blastocyst stage.  We chose to have 1 embryo transferred because quite honestly, the thought of twins at my age is overwhelming.  We have a 13 yr old daughter (from my previous marriage) and financial, time and energy that twins would take, along with a 13 year old is well, like I said, overwhelming.

Our blastocyst was rated a 3AA and everything checked out with me great.  We were fairly certain we would at least get a positive result, when we didn't, it hit us pretty hard.  Even though my husband is trying to stay strong, it has been hard for him, he has always wanted to be a father and is great with my daughter, but he and I were married when she was 11 and he has not had the experience of raising one of his own.  I would love to have another child and want him to be able to experience parenthood from the beginning.  

We feel like we can try the IVF one more time but are trying to decide on whether to transfer 1 embryo or 2.  He feels like our best chance would be to transfer 2 but from all I have read, using donor egg, the chance of getting pregnant with 1 is at about 60% and when you transfer 2 the chance of twins is anywhere from 35-54%.  I am so torn right now about what to do.  I want to give this our best absolute chance, but twins scare the heck out of me, not only the thought of having 2 babies at our age, but the financial implications and health risks for both the babies and myself are concerns as well.  We have already spent $25,000 and are looking at another $3,000 to try again.  If we were to get pregnant with twins we would have to look at a bigger house, daycare x2 and all the other things that go with 2 little ones.  

Does anyone have any advice?  We are going to have to make this decision in the next few weeks and I am looking to get all the information I can.

Thanks so much!
6 Responses
Avatar universal
Honestly I think it's a personal choice and one I would make after talking and getting your RE's input. I have had numerous IVFs and the most I've had transferred were 4. When I knew they were all genetically normal( I elected to do PGD) I had 3 5 day embryo transferred and ended up with a chemical pregnancy when my RE told us we had a high likelihood of twins. I am in no way recommending this and I could never go thru it myself but there is the option of selective reduction. My RE had to make me aware of it for several reasons but I won't get into that. A younger woman's eggs does give you a better chance and less likely to have abnormalities like down syndrome but it is not guarantee that a pregnancy will result from each transfer. Good luck to you!
961574 tn?1520648103
Well, I am 45, and we ended up using donor embryos from 20 something year olds, and we now have g/b twins.  We opted to transfer 2, for financial #1, the transfer costs add up.  Also, I since we are older, I wanted them to have each other later in life, and even now, to entertain each other.  But, also, our embryos were frozen in 2's.  I can tell you if I had to do it again, I would still do 2.  And I also know ladies on here who are over 40 who had one, and our going back for their second.
It is a personal choice, but I can honestly say, I don't think you would ever regret having twinsif it were to happen.
Avatar universal
Thank you for sharing your story with me and I am so sorry for all that you have gone through.  It is really a personal choice and I am very torn on what to do.  Our RE suggested 2 when we did our first round so I am assuming he will suggest the same this time.  I like you, could not do selective reduction so that is not an option.  
Thanks again, I so appreciate all you have to say.
Avatar universal
Thanks for sharing your experience with me.  It is reassuring to know that your experience has been a great one and you would do it again.

Thanks so much!
Avatar universal
If you would be overwhelmed with possibly three children make sure to discuss YOUR odds for multiples. There are other factors besides age that need to be considered.
I personally would love twins or even triplets if we were blessed but I do understand your concern.
Best of luck on whichever you decide to go with.
961574 tn?1520648103
Well, I guess one way to look at it is....there is always the chance of 1 embryo splitting into 2 also, so if you were "meant" to have twins, it might just happen anyway.  Also, I wanted to tell you that my first transfer with our donor embryos failed too, so don't get discouraged, it was our 2nd one that was successful.
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