Avatar universal

We've Decided to Stop Trying

We have decided to stop trying.

The pain and heartache are just too much.

It has been too devastating for us.

We are stuck and will remain stuck unless we move on.

We plan to adopt in the future, but right now we need to stop.

We are sad.

But it's what we need to do.

We are okay.

We have each other.

Our love is strong.

We are strong.

Everything is as it should be.

21 Responses
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657364 tn?1261259557
Well, our 2nd try at ivf/det didn't work, again.  So, we've decided to quit.  I quit due to lack of $$$$.  DH quit just because he doesn't confide in the Dr. and it didn't work the first time.  I already have 2 sons from a previous marriage, but DH doesn't have any children.  He told me he loves me with or w/o children.  
Helpful - 0
195145 tn?1255636447

I don't know exactly how you feel... We tried and tried, suffered a m/c, and then through a miracle and IVF we had our beautiful baby girl Zeva (lost her twin)... Several natural tries, and two FETs later, we decided on the adoption route... It has been different, and, it hasn't been easy, but it is worth it... Love you!
Helpful - 0
727992 tn?1281620276
after 2 years of ttc and 2 success and 2 loss, when my doc told us that we can not ttc for 6 months, we both laugh and feel relieved ,,we are so happy right now and ready for another 2 years of ttc , we are waiting for 6 months to complete ,,,, i think u both need break too,,,, ttc is really hard specially when timed intercourse ,,,,,,, i m the living example of ttc break and happy,,, u can ask me anything ,,, i didnt read anybody's reply , just read yr post only so replying it ...... i hope u guys will recover soon from your pain........
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Sue....oh gosh, what can I say. This past month my husband and I also decided to stop "trying". I believe that the Lord is truely in control of All things. Believing this has helped me work through some emotions this past two weeks. If I surrender this to Him then He will take care of me right? If He is in control then He can make us pregnant right? So then why am I trying to control this situation? Why am I trying to plan the "when" and the "how"? Deciding to stop trying has been extremely difficult but I have given this burden back to God, and asked Him to carry this burden for my husband and I because we are a little weak right now.
Psalms 27:13-14 says" I believe that I will look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
On another note....this will be the first month in two years when sex will not be scheduled.....phew,what a relief!!!
God Bless,
Helpful - 0
725941 tn?1297882209
It's always so painful and difficult when you give everything you've got and more and things just don't happen they way you hope and pray that they would.  Adoption is a wonderful blessing and when you're both ready you'll give some baby boy or girl a loving and stable home.  You will be his or her mother and father and love them unconditionally.  I admire your strength and courage.  I wish you and the love and happiness.

You take care!

Helpful - 0
294043 tn?1354207946
I am so very sad but I understand how you feel.  I hope a child is in your future, biological or adopted.
Helpful - 0
330481 tn?1309488243
Sue - I understand and wish you the best of luck. I think you should go full force with the adoption. If you are blessed with another child, so be it. If not, you know you will have a baby through adoption. I love you girl!!

Helpful - 0
481426 tn?1267491240
You are in my thoughts, I know it must be a complicated decision to come to but I think if you can make peace with decision it may bring you a calm you probably haven't felt sinces starting ttc.   Be strong and keep faith there is a plan for you, for all of us, unfortunately it isn't the easiest.
Helpful - 0
657364 tn?1261259557
Shoot!  The only thing that would stop/could stop us is $$$$.  And, unfortunately, we don't have a fortune.  We thought for sure it was going to happen the 1st time, and here we are, still waiting to find out if our bean is going to hold up.  

It's sO stressful, DH & I know.  He takes it harder than I.  I'm the stronger of the 2 when it comes to being stubborn and headstrong.  DH just doesn't like seeing me sO sad most of the time.  One NEVER knows if DET/IVF will be a success.  Now we know.  If I would've found this site b4 we thought we could have a baby or more, then I don't think we would've EVER tried it.  O:...(

Take care SueGre and God will be good to you & yours.  May God continue to bless and keep us all healthy, safe, and happy, Amen.  O:-)
Helpful - 0
958842 tn?1266512599
Hey Sue, my hubby's granny (60+ years ago) was having trouble ttc, they tried for a few years, "gave up" & excepted it.  Adopted a little girls, & got pregnant.  There about 1 year apart.  waited a year or so, ttc again, nothing........adopted a second baby girls & got pregnant AGAIN w/a baby boy!!!!  S now they had 4 children within 5 years!  Sometimes you gotta be careful for what you wish for :)
Your young, take a good long break (at east try 2) & I bet things will work out exactly the way they are supposed to!
Enjoy your life now, because no matter how much we all here want babies.......lif DOES change once you have them, of course for the good BUT enjoy your freedom & your hubby & when you guys have kids you will be so ready. lots of XXXX's!
Helpful - 0
847328 tn?1289783114
From one of my favorite books right now, you WILL smile again and you WILL be happy again.  Focus on what is going right in your life and count your blessings.  You will be surprised at how many you have.  God Bless...
Helpful - 0
372900 tn?1315512302
I know what a difficult decision that is.  It takes a courageous woman (and man) to make such a huge and devastating decision.  I wish there was something to make it all easier.  I will keep you and your DH in my thoughts and prayers.
Helpful - 0
631676 tn?1333718203
Totally understand and support your decision. I'm adopted myself and know that with God's help I'll adopt even after I have a baby (notice I say 'when' and not 'if' because I just need to feel that way for a while longer). I wish the best for you and do not be afraid to change your mind :) and definitely keep in touch.
Helpful - 0
296340 tn?1336164001
I understand how you feel right now... Take a break.. relax and enjoy.... maybe when you don't think about it.. you will get pregnant...

Best wish to you Sue and hope everything will going well for you.. Don't be a stranger... once awhile log in and update to see how you are doing...

Take care

Helpful - 0
178239 tn?1277405491
I know where you are and how you feel. I am sorry with all my heart. I have given up myself. Realistically, our only options are adoption, or donors. I have so many wishes for you Sue. I hope some of them come true. Please keep in touch with me. I plan on meeting you and Rob both some day.  I love you girl!!!
Helpful - 0
961008 tn?1276648828
I am so sorry for your loss, good luck to you in whatever you decide, the road is never easy, but I hope you find peace and happiness at the end of your journey
Helpful - 0
796506 tn?1370188305
Good luck in all that you do!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
sometimes when people stop trying and accept whatever happens happens, then that is when it happens.  I know someone who was trying for years and when they were going through an adoption process, that is when it happened.  
I started trying recently and I missed my period, I went to the doctors only to discover I am not pregnant and I am just stressed and the doctor recommended me to just stop thinking too much and enjoy sex.  Enjoy it often and relax.  she said when couples dont think about it, that is when it happens.  I know it is easier said than done and how can you not think about it but if you do think about it, think also about the positive things and just breath, relax and not expect anything.  mind over matter. ..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm sorry, but I understand.  I wish you well.
Helpful - 0
676775 tn?1276810560
This must have been a difficult decision to come to but since you made it together, you both are going to be alright.
I wish I could take the pain away or give you a BFP but only God can do that. May God see you both through this decision.
God bless.
Helpful - 0
955968 tn?1253846802
Take a Break for stress relief but Don't give up, and adoption is a beautiful thing as well and I'm sure your adopted child would love a little brother or sister some day.
Helpful - 0
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