Hello ladies, Arlotheslug I'm glad to know that someone else share my feelings. I often ask why they who don't want any children can have them but me who have some much love for a child and can't. I know some day we all going to be pregnant. Right now the heartache is wearing us down.
Candie: good luck
Leighanne: I believe your u/s will be just fine.
Sorry if I missed anyone that has gave an update.
Okay, the iui went fine. My dh count was 14.9 million and mobility 69%. They said that was good. I felt like I ov last night around 12am. I was wondering if I should have cancelled my iui. Have anyone had a iui after the ov. Have anyone had bad cramps after the oviduel that is why I think I ov, and the fact my mucus changed.(sorry).
vortex - I know what you mean about the waiting game. It does get to the point where you feel like you life is defined by where you are in your cycle, but be sure to keep enjoying your life too. We made that mistake for a while. When I was on Clomid, I had mood swings too and since I'm always one to cry about things, it just made it that much worse. Tell DH to just hang in there and remember that you do love him, even if you're acting like a crazy person! :)
mommyin09 - I am so glad that you had such a wonderful fishing trip. I have very fair skin too and I always have those days when I think, oh it's not that sunny I'll be fine and then bam, I look like a lobster! That would be so cool to take boating trips with the family some day. With the Clomid, you could definitely wind up with more follies this time. Your doctor was probably referring to IUI, not IVF. Most doctors like to do that just to increase your chances after you've tried bd for a few months. As for the at home SA, we've never tried it, but if it's possible, I would definitely have it done through his doctor. I believe the kits only really look at the count, where as an official lab test would look at many different categories. He wouldn't necessarily have to see a specialist, his regular family doctor could just order the test and could probably give an opinion on the results. Heck, you guys could even get a copy and then compare it to the normal ranges here on medhelp or webmd. I know it took my DH a few months to finally call the doctor, he was so embarassed, but it's really a pretty common thing and it's definitely worth it to make sure everything is OK.
Thanks everyone for your advice and as for me, I'm 6dpo today, at least I think so. I got a positive OPK and my temps went up, but they haven't been staying way up like usual. You guys can look at my chart if you want and see what you think.
your feelings are completly normal. I felt rage after my 2 MC's when i saw pregnant women, espcially 15 or 16 year olds, so what you are feelign is nothing you should apologize for. the only thing you can do is take it day by day. but also do not apologize for stating your feelings to all of us, that is what we are all here for:)
that is good that you are right back into your cycle trying again. how are you feeling? anything new going on?
i am doing well, just impatiently waiting for the ultrasound next wed to make sure all is well. i am so scared that it will all be taken away from me again so quickly.
Thank you all very much for your kind comments. You ladies are an amazing support. I really just needed to vent and release. And, as Mommyin09 said, I am holding onto the positive and moving forward - because that is all we have. I will still be scared - but I am reading up on so many books to understand everything right now!.
Mommyin09: Let us know how the work folks were. I am sure your hair looks amazing. Funny thing on my end - you can always tell when I get my hair done - b/c I don't wash it for several days (I know I know, but it takes an 1+ in the chair to get it straight ;-)). I can't do my own hair to save my life!
Candie: Good luck with the Dr. I know it can be scary, but having the info and knowing the proper treatment is REALLY important and very fixable when it comes to men (hear me talking ;-). Thank you for the support.
Luvkayln: Thank you for the kind words. It is very comforting.
Happy Wednesday to all! Let's keep those follies growing!
Arlotheslug - Thanks for answering my question. I'm sure no guy actually wants to have to do the SA, especially more than once, but I think we definitely need to see what's going on and I know it would make him feel better. What worries him is that he had to have double hernia surgery back in 2005 and for a while after that, there were areas that were bruised that never should be (ouch) and maybe that led to some type of inflammation. He's just ready to find out and get it fixed if necessary.
As for you, please don't apologize for "bringing us down." That is what we are here for, to support each other, no matter if it's a good day or a bad day. I know how hurtful it is when people say those types of things to you. I have to apolgize because I'm sure I've said that before too. Sometimes I try to be the forever optimist and it may come off bad, so I'm sorry. Just know that you are not alone and we have all felt the same way that you do right now. You see people abusing their children or not wanting them while so many wonderful couples out there are aching to have a family and it doesn't make sense. Anytime I hear one of those awful stories on the news, it makes me sick. There are so many people whose priorities are way out of whack. I do have to agree with luvkayln though that as hard as it is sometimes, I do believe there is a plan out there for each of us and that God will bless us when the time is right. I have bad days sometimes when I get scared to death thinking that what if it never happens and that pain is almost unbearable. I have drempt about having kids my whole life (my DH too) and it seems like everything we do and every decision that we make is geared towards having a family in the future and you just feel like that is the only reason we're put on this earth. I know what you mean too about the drugs, temping, etc. and it does get overwhelming at times. That's why we took a break for the summer to see what happened. We just felt like everything in our life was planned around O'ing and then the possibility of pregnancy and then all of a sudden we realized that a whole year flew by that we missed out on. We came to the realization that we had many other blessings and that it was an insult to God to not be thankful for them and still try to enjoy our life. I hope some of what I said has helped you. I feel like I'm rambling! But I guess my point is just to take some time to heal and figure out what is best for you and your DH. Only you guys can decide that. In the meantime, never lose hope and know that we are here for you 100%. Lots of hugs dear friend.