ivf and religious belief

[nshapland]

Is anyone out there religious and going through fertility treatments?  I would love advice.
After three iuis (unsuccessful) and one natural pregnancy (no meds/iui etc) which resulted in miscarriage, my RE wants to move on to ivf.  I never thought I'd have an issue w/ it--but now the thought makes me very anxious. I'm a pro-choice Christian (yes, it's possible to be both) and I'm really struggling w/ whether or not to do ivf. Part of it is the fear that there will be left over embryos--although at 40, I would assume that most will not be viable. Anyway, I'm not sure I could "discard" them and I don't think I could adopt them out (knowing my child was out there somewhere would drive me crazy). I guess I could have them take out fewer eggs (thus fewer embryos) which would, of course, lower my chances.
I know eggs (as opposed to embryos) can be frozen but I've read it's not as successful. And GIFT would allow it to fertilize in my body w/ no leftovers (I think, though I haven't done a lot of research).

[mhv]

My husband and I are struggling with our worst fears right now.  We decided to use donor eggs and have 7 embryos left frozen.  We found out on a 2nd opinion that the eggs were retrieved to late, thus, making them pretty much unhealthy.  We asked our original RE to thaw them out to see how far they could make it and transfer back the most healthy one's, but he said "its not in our best intrest to do that"... We cannot understand why we cannot make him do this for us, but have been unable to do so.  The 2nd RE (our second opinion) will not transfer the embies because he does not feel they are viable.  So, Now, my hubby and I are left trying to figure out what to do with them.  I feel so guilty having them destroyed, I don't know who I feel about donating them to sience.... I know no one wants to adopt them because they didn't ever work for me.... so What do I do with them??????
I makes me want to cry every time I think of it.  I would be willing to adopt any remaining embryos out, as if someone is as desperate as me to have a child, I know how much it would be loved.  But at this point, that isn't even an option.

Good Luck in your decision making, and I hope you do decide to give IVF a try.  It is an amazing thing, and I seen so many people become parents doing it.  Maybe if you have embryos to freeze, you would decide to have another one in a few years : )

xoxo,
Melissa

[Kricket212]

You could also have embryos transferred back into your body when RE feels it's a very safe time & you wont get pregnant.  Then you know they went back where they came from.

[jamaicababy]

You have very valid reasons for your thoughts. I also had to consider freezing my remaining embryos after our IVF cycle, i knew i could not destroy them, also had very strong feelings that my cycle would work and would probably not need them... and at least I can give someone else a chance to conceive... but now with a failed cycle i am able to use them... as someone else said God will understand whatever decision you make... good luck I wish u all the best

[pol79princess]

Another option for "leftover" embryos that you are not intending to use is to donate them to research. That way, you are giving back to the science that has helped get us that far with IVF. The progress that has been made in reproductive science has been possible because of people that donated their embryos for that purpose. That is what I am going to do with my embryos (I have 4 left) once I'm set that I won't use them for myself. Just like you, I don't see myself donating my embryos to other people; I'd be uncomfortable knowing that somewhere out there someone else is raising MY children (it's a very selfish attitude if you think about it, but that's how I feel). Also, my clinic only freezes top quality embryos, and, unfortunately, at the age 40 you may not have any embryos like that left for freezing. They'll still transfer whatever you get, but they may just not be good "enough" to freeze :(

As to the religious aspect, it is still a controversial subject and personally makes me very agitated ;) especially if I hear from religious people that doing IVF is going against God and that God made me infertile for a reason etc. In fact, Catholic church is trying to completely BAN IVF as unethical and  blah blah blah... Obviously, I strongly disagree with that, but, at the same time, couldn't care less what those people think. When you think about it, organ transplants, surgeries, flu shots, or ANY kind of medical procedure mean going against nature from that perspective, and somehow everyone agrees to do those! Best of luck in whatever you decide :)

[Jennifer330]

Hi- We too went through these same decisions/thoughts. It wasn't an overnight decision for us. We took about 2 months to make a decision. After much prayer and conversation we decided to work with our RE to limit the number that get fertilized so we do not have to destroy or freeze leftovers. We believe that once fertilization happens it is now a life. Yes, some will argue that it decreases our chances but we feel strong about our decision. We will start IVF this July. I'd suggest to let your RE know your wishes so they can accomodate.

I wish you the best and God Bless you,
Jennifer

[feather2e]

I had the same feeling when doing IVF, but I believe that God would understand the choices that you make. I only ended up with 3 embryos. I transferred 2 and the 3rd they said was not good enough to freeze so I didnt have to make a choice. Before hand I told myself that my priority was to do my best to have a baby and just because you have alot of embryos doesnt mean you wont have to use all of them to get pregnant.If I had been in that position I would probably have donated them because that is what I believe god would have wanted me to do, to provide another couple with happiness.

[flaquita77]

Hi ! I think you don't have to be worry in advance for so many things. If you decide to go through a IVF once you produce eggs I think they have to take them all out. I had 2 IVF( the second was successful so far) and I never had embryos to freeze, I was really sad about that cause I signed in a contract that if I would have embryos to freeze I will donate them after one year (that is the time that my Hospital keep the embryos for you,then you have to tell them what you want to do). For a women with money and eggs production problems and a huge desire to be a mother could be cheaper for her to do a cycle buying embryos. I think that is an amazing thing a women could do for another women !!
Also I think God will approve and support you whatever you decide to do.
Go for it !!!!!