Fertility and Trying to Conceive Community
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Avatar universal

long time ttc'ers....

My husband and I reached our year mark of ttc. I've been to the doc and she won't send us to a fertility speacialist for another six months. She thinks I'm ovulating monthly as my periods are fairly regular. I just don't know what to do anymore. Af came today and I wasn't surprised but am an emotional wreck!  I'm so depressed today its unreal. I feel like I will never know the feeling of carrying a child.  How do you guys cope each month? Idk what to do or feel anymore!
9 Responses
Avatar universal
My hubby and I took 13 years to tell the doctor. She did some testing and we found out I don't ovulate even though I have regular cycles. We finally were able to have our daughter after 3 m/c. Hang in there and have a good support system!
Avatar universal
13years!? How did you get through it? I've been using opks and they show a lh surge each month.  But I know that doesn't mean I actually ovulate. I'm only 24btw anf so is hubby. The reason she won't send us to a speacialist is cuz I stopped my bc last july and said it could take six months to get completely out of my system.  So try for another six. Although since stopping bc I've had a regular monthly period so idk. Its just so frustrating. I know I shouldnt complain because others have been trying longer. And I don't have a great support system. My mother keeps saying I don't need any kids yet and rest of my family just says give it time. Yhey don't understand because none of them had problems ttc. I told hubby today wr are taking a break from trying for the next couple cycles. I said it isn't happening with trying everything so why try. We won't be preventing just not trying. My doc wants me to start temping so idk if I even want to do that. Sorry this is so long I just really don't have many to talk to. I can't even talk to hubby cuz he says I obsess over it too much. I just want to lay in bed and cry!
Avatar universal
I totally get it. We had very stressful jobs so we were kind of thankful. I now work a much less stressful job (most days!) and he is on disability for vision issues. My support came from all of my family so I am sorry you don't have that. Temping is no big deal except for the beginning and remembering to do it before you get up in the morning. Hubby and I are taking a month off from ttc #2 because he will be out of state during the important days. There is a good support system here too. Hang on, breathe, and ask if you need anything :-)
Avatar universal
Thank you for your kind words! I am feeling much bettert today than yesterday. Coming to this website does help a lot. I just wish my family understood. But we have three pregnant women in the family at the time and they are all under 20. Two of them this is their second. I'm happy for them but jealous at the same time. Especially when all my family wants to talk about is the pregnant women and the upcoming babies. I know I shouldn't feel this way but can't seem to shake it completely. I feel like I did everything right. Finished and graduated college. Got a good job. Hubby has a good job. We own our house. Are married. Financially and emotionaly ready and still isn't happening. But yet the pregant women in my family are younger than me (not saying its a bad thing) and can't even support themselves financially. Ah I feel better just venting!
Avatar universal
Vent away! It's a good stress reliever and venting here doesn't cause more strife. Hope you are feeling better.
1798025 tn?1333818068
I've been trying for almost 3 years and what helps me most is my faith. Aside from that I attempt to stay positive (things could be a lot worse in my opinion) and use this time to enjoy my husband and things we like to do like go out, have drinks, and spend time with other couples that don't have kids. Don't get me wrong it's tough. Especially when everyone around you is getting pregnant. That's what I've experienced most. But I smile and know that my time will come. Venting and having someone you can talk to about your fertility struggles would help too. Good luck, stay positive, and know you'll be a mother same day!!
Avatar universal
Thank you both for your encouraging words! DH and I have decided we need a little break from trying. We will not be preventing though and I will still be taking my prenatals. But I'm not checking cm or cm or opks. Our whole world has turned into trying for a baby and it has been stressful. I'm ready to start doing things a little different.  I've been so consumed into "oh I can't do this or that because I want to get pregnant"  therfore not really doing anything with DH besides bd'ing. We are going to enjoy being married and if that leads to baby then we will be over joyed. But I'm taking of my emotions again and am not going to let this consume me any longer.  I know this is easier said than done cuz I've said it before but I'm finally in the mindset that I emotionally cannot handle the disappointment each month for awhile and need to focus on a healthier me.
Avatar universal
I was born without a uterus. I always knew I will never be able to carry my baby. But still I can't say this fact made my life easier. Especially when I was married for the first time, I knew it's time to have a family, to have children like everybody else. My first husband was constantly telling me that he doesn't want to have kids. Though I really wanted to become a mother, I decided to accept childless life. It seemed like I was destined not to have children. As it turned out later my husband had another woman who got pregnant and gave him a child. Not only he left me but he told me so many things which made me feel like I'm not a woman and I will never be able to create a family and be happy in marriage. Someone says we should accept infertility and just live with it. Well maybe someone can do that but I couldn't. Now I'm married and I have great husband. We are also thinking to have surrogacy. Now I'm looking for a fertility center or clinic where we can have this procedure. When I started to look for surrogacy, I was shocked. Prices are so high! Honestly I was thinking this was a sign that we will never be able to have children. I was completely broken. Thanks to this group I found out that surrogacy will cost less if to go abroad. I haven't decided where we will go yet, but I really hope that our journey will start soon. I'm really sorry you are in such situation. I know from my own experience how hard it is when depression never leaves you. But surrogacy gives me hope that everything will change. I wish you best of luck! I hope it will change our lives for the best.
Avatar universal
Really sad, hun! I've been ttc for 13 months. Then took a long break - changes in personal life. Again being ready for another set of trying got no result. We had to apply for help at a fertility clinic. The only issue they found was low amh. dh is ok. Currently passing ivf with oe.
I can't really say I could give tips on how to survive every other month. We're in the same boat. I also have never experienced pregnancy and am already 40 yo. I feel time's looming. They do give us success rates of conceiving with own egg. BUT I'm not so sure. I have to loose some of my extra lbs as well. We're doing all we can to stay positive though this rollercoaster seems never end.
I am praying for this nightmare of living childfree disapear in a finger snap for all struggling ladies. But obviously it's more time consuming...
Sending you much of love and support X
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