I’ve been suffering from gas for two years now under very specific circumstances, and it has ruined my schoolife and grades: I get very nervous when the room is quiet in a classroom, which is where it happens the most but any quiet room will do this for me. I’ll get extreme gas with no smell; it is just loud. When the room is quiet such as during exam time I’ll have all my thoughts on farting loudly and embarrassing myself in front of everyone; I can’t focus on anything else; it’s horrible. I get sweaty, my hands start twitching, and a feeling of dread will come over me; it isn’t pleasant. My grades have gone from As to Cs and Ds due to this; long story short: when I’m in a quiet room with a lot of people in it, I’ll get severe gas that doesn’t smell but is loud... I just wanted to provide a little comfort to you; I don’t know if this’d help or not, but regardless I’ll post it here.
Hello everyone, my name is Pedro from Portugal and i'm 27 years old. I've been having these symptoms since 7th grade or so. As i'm writing this i'll try to pick on the little details focusing more on the experience that i've had with constant chronic flatulence though various situations in life rather than treatments, consultations, pills, doctors.
Let me be honest, I don't think i've done proper due diligence as i've never fully committed to a specific diet, or I simply was too lazy to exclude various foods, as well as trying (Foomaps/testing for lactose intolerance/breath tests etc) Many years back all I've done was a colonoscopy, and the results came back as normal with the exception that I had a rather long intestine, all that the gastro medic suggested was something like flatulence pills combined with the charcoal ones, and sent me to therapy and prescribed me antidepressants. Cool right?
So let me dive in into the sad story that is my life. Way back when I was just a kid living in the countryside I swear I was the happiest guy around, nothing would get me down, there was a sense of freedom that has been lost over the years. Before something was triggered in me, for the life of me I can't recall a single bad memory that had anything to do with flatulence, not a single one, I mean i'm sure I farted but was so rare that I never thought anything of it. At most all I had was some serious tummy pains with trapped gas that my father would massage.
One day all changed, roughly in 7th grade (can't be sure but it was around that time) all of a sudden something changed, I was having constant flatulence on a chronic level. I very quickly realised that anxiety and stress were heavily correlated, when feeling anxious the symptoms were heavily aggravated. I don't think I ever was a great student as far as grades go, but at least I was able to focus on the lecture without that little voice that now is lodged in the back of my brain constantly reminding me, "you're going to fart". So now it was getting to the point where I wasn't able to arrive at school and go straight to class without going to the bathroom, I could wake up just fine, not feel the need to go to the bathroom nor pass gas at home, eat my breakfast take my ride to school, but as soon as I arrived, I started to feel discomfort, the need to pass gas and I couldn't go to the classroom without going to the toilet, and for the most part helped just a bit but not nearly enough nor for long. Then I was pushing friends away unconsciously, speaking less and less to them and in classes I was no longer able to sit next to anyone nor in front of the classroom, with every chance I got i'd pick the corner table in the back of the room isolated from everyone else. If someone was sitting next to me the situation would aggravate ten fold, not able at all to focus on what the teacher was saying as if my head was underwater and all I heard was a distant voice. I'd get palm and *** crack sweats, hot/cold flashes with that feeling of going that I was going to faint, from the serious clutching not to pass gas.
I've also noticed that when sitting down everything worsens, or just by being next to a beautiful girl, closed and small places in silence are the worse, it's almost guaranteed that the symptoms are going to pop up even though I might have been having a good day thus far. Here's what really bothers me, altho the need to pass gas is still there but in diminished frequency, when i'm outside and start walking in the streets, for the most part I just feel better...
During high school , I remember having supplementary physical chemistry classes to boost my grades, in the tinniest quietest room surrounded by colleagues, I don't think I ever attended a single class without going to the toiled before hand, I remember as it was today, how sweaty I was, trembling, heart pounding, hot flashes and if it wasn't flatulence it was really loud gas noises rumbling near the anus, i've never felt so trapped in my whole life.
So finishing high school was stressful enough, I've skipped classes multiple times, but I powered through it and finished it. I would have loved to to have gone to the University, but I honestly didn't had any strength left to attend it for the next 4 years and power through it all over again. Things like taking the drivers license, honestly wasn't as bad as I was expecting, I suppose I really had to be focused on driving and trying no to crash the car to worry about the rest, but still I delayed it for YEARS just out of fear, took me year to gather the courage to take the lessons. To this day i've only worked one traditional job, that provided me with tons of space, surrounded by noise, and not so many people. As you can imagine that really had me stress free, the work was hard, the schedule was awful, the pay was bad. I just didn't care about anyone of that, I had a purpose, I was keeping busy, and symptoms where non existent as I was constantly moving and not thinking about it. All that came to an end eventually, gladly i'm making a decent living for the time being from home, but you know what, grass is alway greener on the other side, doesn't matter how much I accomplish in life, i've never been so depressed, as i'm just alone at all times there's really a need for human connection.
I can't remember the last time that I went to the movies with someone, had dinner with someone in a quiet place, even when friends ask me to go out I try to dodge it even though deep down i'd love to go. Also it doesn't really help that i'm as introvert as I am, due to all this, over the years i've lost all my social skills, I can't hold a conversation even if my life depended on it, I just really don't know what to say or how to relate so I Just stand there with my mouth shut. I've also never had a chance to find myself a girlfriend, what I wouldn't give for someone that could relate to me, and enjoy the little things in life. Everything else that i've done in life doesn't matter at all, what I wouldn't give for a reset button and the ability to fully experience life without this weighing me down.
I'm nothing but an empty shell, i'm not the person that I was meant to become.
If you are suffering and need a friend, you'll find one in me.
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."