Have you tried soy or almond milk. I too am lactose intolerant and I use soy milk. I also take digestive enzymes. Hope you find relief!
It may not be lactose intolerance. You may be 'allergic' to the casein (the protein) in diary. if that's the case, if you have ANY dairy - in any form - you're going to react.
So unfair. Just recently I vomit after eating cheese