I started picking at my skin when I was three and started eating them when I was four. At seven I liked the sight of blood and started having it daily. I'm 17 almost 18 years old. I also started harming myself at age eleven with an additional eating disorder and thirteen when I started cutting (or puncturing actually) and twelve when starting to think about suicide. This has gone for so many years when I started almost 15 years ago, yet when people saw it in my family (my mother, step-sister, and step-father) they did nothing about it, even when I got in trouble for it at school at age fifteen and got sent home. I also got yelled at. Since also having Autism, it makes it worse because I hate loud noises. I started cutting because of my family.
I suffer from major depression and-sadly-started cutting myself again. Right now I'm in foster care but since I've been doing it for so long that even after going to the hospital twice I can't stop hurting myself nor eating my own skin. I tried the rubber band, the medication, the writing, the drawing...I tried everything that I imagined that would cure me. I'm even in therapy now but even it doesn't help. Everyone keeps saying that I didn't but I believe that I had. I looked and looked and looked all around for answers but I feel so lost.
I'm afraid that if anyone knows that I'm cutting right now that I would be permanently be in the hospital. I have so many things to do as well (they aren't stressing me out or anything). It started out with a simple time picking at the scab because it looked cool to now. It's to the point where I can't feel pain when doing anything, like when I accidentally cut up my foot and it was untreated for 10 minutes so that it continued bleeding. And needed stitches, but it didn't hurt because I already know what the pain is...
How else can I stop this addiction and obsession? Can I never stop it from this far? What else do I need to do before I go and be as an adult?