Aa
A
A
A
Close
Geriatrics Community
483 Members
Avatar universal

Need to get mom out of hospital

One week ago my mother-in-law was able to dress herself,shower, do her hair and go down-stairs 3x`s a day to eat. Assisted living said she was doing great. Her 2 daughters decided to stay away for 3days,in hopes that mom would acclamate herself better,because she hated the place.
She made a phone call and called the front desk by mistake, thinking she was calling her daughter. She cursed her-out saying she felt like jumping off the balcony, she always said things like that(knowing she wouldn`t jump). The woman on the phone @ the front desk yelled out she`s going to jump. They found her and called the STATE authority. They came strapped her in a gurney and took her to a mental ward. She is so drugged up now, she couldn`t recognize her daughter plus she drools and she see`s things like blood and bugsThey are giving her 300mg of Seroquel,20mg of Prozac And when they put her in time-out, they give her Ativan,what can we do 2 stop this? Someone please help us. She doesn`t deserve this in her final years. She is 88yrs old, weighs120lbs,said a man aid gave her a sponge bath, I can`t imagine how she felt. It must have felt like a rape to her because she is so pure and naive. Her sister has power of attorney and she runs the show, she could care less. She goes on vacations not caring, while my wife and I cry. When we visited her, she looked like a zombie. Someone please help.
8 Responses
Avatar universal
Sounds to me like you had better get a lawyer and an independent evaluation. . . off the drugs.  This does not sound good at all.  Have they even attempted an evaluation by a licensed psychiatrist?  With all the meds on board it would be pretty hard to evaluate, that's why I say they have to have her off the drugs for a period of time.  Please tell this story to a lawyer with experience in elder care.  I wish you all the best in your struggle with this.
144586 tn?1284666164
Dealing with nursing homes is always a problem. I've been banned from at least six of them, at last count.

They routinely use a "chemical straitjacket" to secure "happy times".

Worse, they now have a new "deal" where they don't want an outside physician to evaluate one of their own patients.

Once they get the psychiatric label on a patient it is even more difficult. They all have their own legal teams. And adult protective services won't go near a situation against a psychiatrist. They are overworked, indifferent, and generally as useless as a screen door in a submarine.

If you can handle the situation at home, get her out of there. I would guess her bridges have been burned at this facility.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and just keep trying to push things in the right direction.

Registered letters from attorneys and to the state licensing boards help.

Make sure you get a complete copy of her medical records and history. They will undoubtedly refuse you this and you will have to resort to what is called a subpoena duces tecum.
144586 tn?1284666164
Once again, I hope you are keeping after the nursing home.

I have had problems with all of them, representing families of patients, and it seems no matter how legitimate and polite the complaint is, they go into "Defense of Stalingrad" mode.

I have had nursing home administrators and physicians walk away from a family physician I was accompanying to discuss a patient. A violation of "union rules" it seems.

My last confrontation resulted from my insistance they call an ambulance for a patient suffering from pulmonary. Because of their delay (hours) the patient unnecesssarily expired.

On television this might make a story, but in real life the death was marked as "natural", and the bucket of water on the stove boils along as usual.

I cannot convey how important it is for relatives to visit nursing homes as often as they can, and to question staff and insure their loved ones are recieving proper care.

Avatar universal
Thank you for your help. Saw mother-in-law today, worse than ever. My wife and I can not do a thing, we don`t have power of attorney, her other daughter does.  She won`t even go see her, says the Doctors are doing the right thing because she said she was going to jump off the veranda. They found her walking away from the veranda going to her room.  They made a bad assumption, now she`s lost almost brain dead.  The son also won`t go see her, said they are doing the right thing because of what she said.  Are they all crazy? They act as though they don`t love her.
Doctor said they would ween her off seroquel, of 300 mg. We went today and the nurse said they dropped the dose to 300mg If thats the case, what were they giving before? She`s 88yrs old. It`s as though everyone is trying to kill her off. The hospital lies to your face. Rember, the day before she went in, she showered, dressed herself, went downstairs for dinner 3 times a day. The assisted living place jumped the gun and made a bad assumption. Whats it all comming to? Is that how they are geeting rid of our elderly? The drugs she is getting is like shock treatment to her brain. 300mg seroquel, 750depakot 20mg prozac,also klonapin. My wife doesn`t want to do anything until she comes out, been in there 3wks. She thinks they will retaliate some way(hospital). If someone can pass this on to the state of washing todo something, you will be saving a life.
After seeing this, I want to become a caregiver, these people need it along with help from some-one who cares. Some of them are all alone with no family. Please try to pass this on to the state of WA. as my wife doesn`t want me too do anything yet. I thank you all for your help. John
144586 tn?1284666164
I truly sympathize with you.

I am in a similar situation with an elderly woman, an incompetent and uncaring son, and an incompetent and uncaring trustee.

I got thrown out of one hospital when I grabbed a haldol syringe from a physician about to inject a hunded year old woman and threw it on the floor and stepped on it.. I threatened with charging him with criminally negligent homicide charges if the woman died from that injection if he had the bright idea of getting another. Probably the DA would not have let me in the front door, but the threat did the trick.  A frightened old woman was agitated and needed to be held, and they brought out the haldol. Her uncaring son wasn't at the hospital because he was romancing his girlfriend. Since I was not a relative I had no "standing". The trustee, who didn't give a darn about her, felt she had "the top doctor".

In ninety-nine percent of the cases of elderly agitation the answer is to hold and to cuddle the person.

I don't know what the answer is. There are so many people in the alleged profession of "caring" and they all seem to have evidence of autism. That is to state they lack affect. Most of them are just "putting in time".

I would not worry about them "retaliating".

I would do this.

I would send a registered letter to the State Department of Health (with a copy to the nursing home) and a complaint against the physician, registered, with copies to the State Licensing Board, the Physician and the Nursing home.

At the very least this will insure a peer review to assure the appropriateness of the protocol.

Eight-eight years old is young.

There is a right and a wrong and a good and an evil, and some things are worth throwing yourself across the railroad tracks for.

Be polite, don't threaten, but registered mail complaints, return receipt requested are helpful.

My "little Camper" is 105 and going strong, no thanks to son, her attorney or her trustee.

In any event, these situations are extremely difficult to deal with.

You have my sympathies and prayers.
Avatar universal
Caregiver, you`re my kind of man, broke the needle,thats so cool. You convinced my wife to write some registered letters.  
Caregiver, I want to take a movie camera in to view mom,can they stop me. Do you have any advice on that?  Know of any-one who did?  I know i`m bold enough to do it +  I have an anger management problem.
Once again I thank you.  John
Avatar universal
Please leave out the anger management part. Just pissed off, I`m taking meds to control my anger not enforce it. So kindly omit that, I  wouldn`t want you to think I`m a looney. I`ve seen real loonies where my mother-in-law is. Caregiver222 and KLRB, just wanted to let you know, she`s not in a nurseing home, they have her in a hospital in the PSYCH ward with real crazies. This poor woman at 88 yrs old, what they are putting her through is totally wrong. A little dementa some-times but she doesn`t belong in a PSYCH ward.
I`ve been reading another forum on here, where people want to kill them-selves.  Some have actually tried it once or twice... My point is they say this to their shrink, doctors and family members also, they aren`t being putting away, they are free to go on with their daily lives and live in their heads, not the PSYCH ward. Thanks for lending me your ear.
144586 tn?1284666164
I work part-time as an assistant to a psychiatrist, and I know the drill.

You need to get a copy of the mental health law statues for your state. They vary a bit from state to state. There is another physician, known world-wide, who gets people out of psychiatric wards, who might help you. I have messaged you his name.

There are video camera that go on a pen and clip to the shirt. They cost about $125. I have used them investigating nursing home abuse.

I fully understand your comment about anger.
Have an Answer?
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Could our telomeres hold the key to curing cancer and preventing aging? Learn more in this article from Missouri Medicine.
Think a loved one may be experiencing hearing loss? Here are five warning signs to watch for.
How to lower your heart attack risk.
Here are 12 simple – and fun! – ways to boost your brainpower.
Protect against the leading cause of blindness in older adults
Keep your bones strong and healthy for life