8 Year Old Son Loss of Mom and Brother

[TTDad_91]

Just With In the Last 6 months our Lives have Been Turned Upside down. my Wife and Son were Killed in a Car Accident DUI leaving Myself and My other Son (who were Identical Twins). the Last Six months Have Been a Roller coaster, before this Travis and Cody were Closer than any Brothers i had Ever Seen. now with Cody Gone and Their Mother as Well Travis Has Become Very Detached From the World, as well as Very Aggressive, and Has Resigned to wetting and Pooping in his pants. personally the Wetting and Pooping i can Understand And deal with, even when all was well we decided as Parents (seeing thier issues and Knowing my childhood history with accidents) to leave the whole Diaper and potty situation up to them at appropriate Times. before hand Cody spent much time in them and Travis was so-so, but since Cody's Passing Travis has Been Soley in pull ups (which under the Circumstances i was told is normal) and Has Gotten Very Aggressive, he has Been Sent Home from school 12 times in the past 2 months for fighting and the last time he was Expelled for Nearly killing another boy who was sent to the Hospital and fully recovered. all he does is sit in his room holding Cody's Favorite Stuffed MLP animal rocking Back and Forth Crying. Im really Worried im only 24 years old Myself (im more or less still just a Kid myself) i had been with my wife since i was 10 years Old, she Got preagnant at 15 and i was 14 we raised these boys between our own school scedules other Than Her and My boys i have Nothing, when i turned 21 my grand father gave me his old rig and i started driving that for Extra Money.i been on work leave for 6 months now and since he is now Expelled from school and we are running out of money i was debating going back on the Road Just me and Travis. but In his Current Condition i don't Know If that would be a Good idea or even make him worse. he won't Talk, he Fights Me Every Step, even Changing His Diaper is a Fight every few Hours. i want to know if there is anything i can do to help him, i want My Little Cuddle monster Back. i need him more than ever Now and he does Me as well but i can't even get close to him without being punched in the face. he has Made a Complete 180. before he was a Rather Lovable Normal Boy who  would Rather curl up with me or his mother and Watch one of his favorite shows My Little Pony with us than play, now he refuses to even go near me and Spends all day sitting on the Bed Peeing, pooping, crying, and sleeping. i don't Know what to do.  

[Elszelsz]

Please get closer to God every day. You also need counseling and help. God is the greatest healer. May The Lord always be in your life and Travis'.

[TTDad_91]

we actually doing a bit better now we Curbed his aggression mostly, turns out with the loss of his brother he felt more alone than anything which is understandable, me and his mother would be gone for hours everyday while they were at school however Travis and Cody have never in 8 years been apart for more than 1 hour tops and being twins the Depended on each other more than we realised. well one thing he always wanted was a Dog so i got him a puppy, took him a miniute but once he got warmed up he hasnt stopped smiling and laughing since. he is still going potty in his diapers but it is no longer a fight to change him and he is more or less back to being lovable he still has aggressive and deppressed moments where he shuns the world but they are few. more than anything i think he needed something to love to fill the hole his brother left, the psycologist says even with as much progress as he made so fast there is still alot more he has to do to go back to normal so it is comming. but he is stable enough we are going on the road in two weeks, he is actually a little excited to be able to see the world a little. we have a skype set up with his counsoler so we shall see how this turns out

[AnnieBrooke]

Could you come back on and tell what has happened since you wrote this?  I'm quite concerned, and hope you have found some helpful resources.

[AnnieBrooke]

I should say, at your son's former school.  The principal should still make time for you, given the severity of the problem.

[AnnieBrooke]

Taking him on the road might or might not be a good idea, there is the change-of-scenery possibility (like, that would be good) versus the "what if he gets worse and tries to run off" argument.  Please talk to the principal at your son's school, first, and ask if he or she knows any resources you can turn to for some help for your son, in other words, getting him some psychological help (and getting you some family counseling too).  I assume there was some insurance money that might be used for this?  Did the DUI person have any coverage?  Have you talked to a lawyer if so about how to make some claims for the pain and suffering of your son?

If the principal knows of nobody who can help your son with counseling (which would be unusual) call some of the women's shelters in your area.  You don't need shelter but you do need resources, and they should be able to guide you to some of the county- or state-sponsored places.  

Do you have family and friends around who are helpful?  Any aunts who your son loves?  

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and really sorry about your experience it very tragic and glad your holding up ok.
Your son has gone through terrible trama and needs professional care. Post tramatic stress syndrome is not limited to the military but to anyone suffering a horror in life.
He needs to learn how to accept an deal with this loss or will turn to things that cause a distraction in his mind.
Sorry again.
dave