I cannot cope with losing my mom

[abby51]

My mom suddenly and unexpectedly died 2 weeks ago It has been a horrible couple of weeks. I am extremely worried about my dad and how he will cope. He keeps saying he is ok but I know better than that because we are having the worst days of out lives. We have a great support system of friends, however, all I want is my mom to be back. She had not been ill and stopped talking and just died. I never expected to be so young (I am a college student) and going through this. I know it is not easy at any age but I just though we would have more time. People have told me I need to learn to work through the pain but I do not think that can be done. The funeal arrangements and the funeral itself were very overwhelming...almost 350 people were at the funeral...and I know all those people were there for support but very few of them understand the pain we are feeling of losing my mom so suddenly and unexpected.

[Sara27motherless]

Hi Abby51,
My deepest condolences to you.
Your not alone.
My mum died 4 months ago. Cancer. Only one ur diagnosis. She was 52. So young. Didn't get to see me or my sister get married which was her dream. So full of life. I still cry every single night and haven't dreamt of her since. The pain is so bad that I'm willing to give anything I have just to see her again. I feel like I'm never gona find happiness and peace n it's so unfair because we are so young. Just like your self. I'm 26.
I'm sorry to hear about ur mums tragic passing:( how did it happen?
Hope I can't help u in anyway possible

[brendondio]

I know how most of ya'll fell I lost my mother when I was twelve and right know I am 18. it has passed 6 years and I still miss her and dream of her all the time but I also know tat I am not alone thanks to god I have a family that takes care of me. yes at first it takes long to not have a family member especially an important family member with you, but know that ya'll are not alone there is always people out there that have gone through the same things as you. like I said I know that at fist it I hard but later you start to relize many things . know getting into that kids, teens, and even adults can grow up thnking that the losse of there parent is there faut but its not your fault. children teens and adults do things or things happen to thrm for a reason don't think that its all ur fault that's how I used to feel but now thst I am 18 I see and relize many things.
I hope that my words / cmments helped ya'll

[akudela]

This is similar to what just happened to me, no chance to say goodbye. My mom lives in Ghana and had been gone for a few hours before me and sisters in the US found out. I wanted to die, its been almost 8 weeks and it feels like yesterday. It was so sudden and unexpected it feels like my sense of security has been taken away from me. I am not suicidal but I wish I was not here. People keep telling to try and be ok so my Mom can rest in peace but it's so hard just to accept this. I am so thankful to God she came to visit and just left the US in April, then in August she is just gone. The pain in unbearable. RachMcl I believe your Mom is watching, I have dreamt about my mom twice and I hope it happens every night because then I feel close to her. I read that writing to her in a journal helps. I have not tried it myself buy I plan to. May God give you strength.

[Djdonna100]

Hi rachmcl. Very sorry to hear of your loss. I had a very similar thing happen to me. I lost my mum suddenly on 18th October 2014. I woke up one morning and got a phone call from my dad to say she'd been taken ill and was on a life support and hours later it was switched off, she never came around and I never got a chance to say bye. 24 hours before this she was fine and making cakes. The autopsy showed she had acute pancreatitis cause by debris in her pancreas which led to multiple organ failure. No reason for it, she wasn't. A big drinker and was a healthy 66 year old.
My mum really was my best friend, we did everything together. If I didn't see her for a day I would be in the phone several times a day. Nearly a year on I still cry myself to sleep every night. It makes me so sad she now won't get to see her grandchildren grow up and she lived for them.
I can't say I know how you feel as everyone is different but I understand what you are going through, I too remember the first couple of weeks not believing or feeling it was real. I was walking around seeing everyone getting on with their lives thinking... This awful thing has just happened to me. What did my mum do to deserve this.
I did see a counsellor and I think it helped a bit although nothing can take the pain away.
If I can given any advice - talk about her as much as you can and see friends as much as you can, I wouldn't still be standing here now if it wasn't for the amazing friends, husband and family I have.
I am still taking each day as it comes and trying to keep busy but the evening are hardest.
Take care and be strong!

[RachMcl]

My mum passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago.
We were due to go on holiday two days afterwards. She was so happy, I told a joke, she laughed, and mid laugh she was just gone. It was beyond sudden. The cause of death is still inconclusive but we have been told we will get the full PM results in 2/3 months.
The past 2 weeks have been a bit of a blur. I have went back to college and I'm trying to make her proud but sometimes I don't see the point in being here at all. She won't see me get married or have kids.
I believe that she is watching over me. Do you all believe that? Please help me get through this. I don't know if I can.

[ValMae012014]

We lost our Mom last July 28. I miss her everyday and I would give anything to see her again. She was diagnosed with lung cancer stage IV with enlargement of the heart last March. It came as a surprise also when she died because she always tells us she's okay. She only stayed in the hospital for 6 hours before the doctor declared her time of death.
Last week was so overwhelming since my siblings and I prepared everything for her funeral. I'm still blaming my father for my mother's death because he always stresses her. He shouts at her even when she was sick.

I'm hoping that you still have your father with you, so you can cope with your loss together. Because from where I stand, the bond between us (I and my 3 siblings) and our father broke when our mother died.

I always talk to my mom. I can still smell her. I watch her videos so I will never forget her voice. When I'm at my lowest, I know what she would tell me. Let's cope with our losses together. We'll be okay in God's time. This too shall pass. We'll see them in the right time.