Loss of Mother at young age

[shannonwooten]

I lost my mother when I was 2 years old due to Cancer. I am now 21 years old and it still hurts me very much to talk about her. My dad never talked about her... her death left him depressed until he died a year and a half ago.
My grandmother talks about her and tells me stories on occasion. Its hard for me to even hear about her without wanting to cry... and i don't like to cry in front of others, not even my family.

Even to this day... I have a hard time talking to my husband about her and we have been married for two years now. Ill sometimes cry and he will ask if i am thinking about her and I would nod and that is as far as it goes.

Even though I do not remember my Mother... she is my life and I think about her every day. There are still nights when I cry thinking about her... she was an amazing woman. It tore my Father apart until he died almost two years ago. My older brother and sister were greatly impacted as well.

I use to go to counseling 3 years ago for a sexual abuse. I talked to the counselor about her very few times which was hard. The most I have ever told anyone about her was to my doctor... it was something that I wrote. He said that he doesn't see how I couldn't tear up because he got teared up himself while reading it.


Has anyone else had a problem like this? Not being able to share because it is just too hard?

Think counseling would help me out? I feel like this is something that is going to always hide within me...

[shannonwooten]

Cloey- thank you for your response! That is good that is seems like you can deal with your loss a bit better than before. I do look at photos often and cry often, it does help. :)


MKlacza, it sounds like you just told my life story. My father also couldn't deal with it so it tore us all up. I also think that I have made some mistakes that I don't think I would have made if she was here. I look JUST like my Mother as well... my grandma always tells me and its obvious. I remember showing my grandmother a photo of me and thought that it was my mother for a minute. I too hope that your daughters have you in their lives for a very long time... we both know what it is like without a mother. Good luck to you and your family, thank you for sharing!

[MKlacza]

I lost my mother at the age of 5. I am now 35.  She died at the age of 36...My father never dealt with my mothers death as this damaged my ability to deal as well. I dont have many stories about her as I didnt know her family. Til this day I wonder so many things... I look at my own children and wonder. I look exactly like my mother which hurts very badly. Not having a mother and a father that couldnt look at me for a very long because I looked like her has damaged alot in my life and I have made many mistakes due to this I believe. I decided to move forward and feel blessed that I have my own family and that I pray that my daughters will have me in their lives for a very long time.

[cloeybaby]

I lost my mother due to cancer when i was 16. My sister and I both dealt with my mother's death in totally different ways. I cried and shut things out and did drugs to take the pain away. eventually though i dealt with it. my sister on the other hand shut everything off and didn't really deal with it for a long time. now she can talk about it and be fine. we like to remember all the good things about her. i don't know how much you know about her or how many pictures you have of her but looking at pictures and talking about her are ways of dealing. I think that you have not really ever dealt with it...you haven't went through the 5 stages of death. No matter what everyone who loses someone has to go through these stages..So my advice to you is to get out some pictures and just cry. You need to cry..it really helps. but i am no expert..everyone is different