One Year Anniversary Upcoming

[tiff78g]

My grandpa passed away a year ago November 30, 2007. I am not sure what to do on that day. I dont want to go on like it's an ordinary day, because it is not. I miss that man every single day. He was the only father figure I had and I looked up to him. I will never forget him or let his memory fade. He and my grandma were what kept me going. Thank goodness I still have her, without her I dont know where I'd be.  How do you acknowledge the day? He was my first loss of someone I was extremely close to and loved so dearly.

Tiffiny

[tiff78g]

My grandma has always been the pillar of the family, even when my grandpa was still alive.  When he was very sick and could hardly get around, my uncles installed bars and things throughout the house and she hated them because she said it made it look like someone was sick who lived there. Someone was, grandpa. She was in denial about him dying, the docs kept saying it and it was like she didnt even hear them. When he came home on hospice, she tried to talk him out of hospice, holding on to the thought that he was not dying. He was not even home a week before he passed. It has been tough on her, I am sure of that. I just wish I knew how to be there for her better.

Tiffiny

[slow_healer]

Hmmm, I wonder if your grandma feels that now she needs to be the pillar of the family. Could she be trying to fill the role your grandpa used to? She might find more reassurance in knowing that she's doing a good job - that's just a guess though. Your grave blanket sounds like a great idea. Take care.

[tiff78g]

Thanks for your comment. My sis and I ordered a grave blanket and will be placing it on his grave on that day. My grandma and I are extremely close, but she refuses to cry in front of me. I dont get it. Maybe because I cry, but I need her support as well. I know she is human and she cries for him. They were married almost 65 years for crying out loud. Maybe I just need to bring it up and make her talk to me. I dont want to push her away, she is all I've got like a mom/friend. Looking at pics is a great idea. I love looking at pics of him and talking about good memories. I will do that for sure.

Tiffiny

[slow_healer]

Tiffiny, do anything that helps you feel you're acknowledging him, even if it's lighting a candle and having a cup of tea all by yourself. If there's something special you used to do with him (like go for walks together), then do it. Maybe you and your grandma could go out for lunch, or stay in and look at pictures. Either way, let those feelings flow and let them feel acknowledged. Don't feel like you have to lock them all in or pretend that life has forgotten him :)