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Struggling with mother's death

I am having a really hard time with my mother's death. She passed away from liver cancer almost 2 weeks ago, and I try to talk to her, but I find myself feeling silly, because I don't know if she's really listening, or if she's even still around me. It makes me feel so guilty because I have hardly cried, and I find myself afraid to fall asleep, or to be in the dark because she might show up. Which is so stupid because I know I should not be afraid of her, but I am afraid of ghosts so seeing her that way scares me. I just need some advice to be able to accept that she is still with me, and that she may come and see me someday. Sorry, I probably sound like a crazy person.
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Avatar universal
Hello misstiff24,
This may come as a relief to you....what you are experiencing is absolutely normal.... Since its been just two weeks.....I suggest ..just avoid controlling yourself so much...experience each emotion..live through...addressing them is very important.. talking to her photograph ..viewing videos ...mourning ....all of these are a part of your grieving process leading to acceptance of reality and growth.

As far as your fear of ghosts is concerned...try not relate the concept of scary ghosts with your mother....if they bother you...pl recall positive emotions and thoughts you have for her.....this will help you sleep and you will feel close to her.

God bless you
tc


1 Comments
since its TOO RECENT*

The suggestions I gave are still applicable :)

4769306 tn?1519524956
Hi Misstiff24,
I lost my mother in 2013 and I still have crying sessions myself. Just had on this week. Everyone is different and mourn differently. Allow yourself to relax and when the time comes for that release believe me there will not be anything you can do to hold it in. My husband lost his mother last year in April. He cried the day he lost her but he didn't really release again until Jan of this Year. Do you have any of her clothing something that still has her scent on it. That really helped me. I talk to my mother all the time. I don't know if she can hear me or if her spirit is around me but it help me especially when I am going through things to talk to her. Also lost my father in 2013 and I speak with him often. It doesn't make you sound crazy that you  talk to your mom or to be afraid that she isn't around you. I think everyone probably feels like that at some point and time during a loss of a loved one. I think if you're not opposed to it that a support group is also a great idea. wish you all the best, KeeLolo
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