Grief and Loss Community
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182926 tn?1273012392


I had a my stillborn son on Tuesday of last week.  He was my eigth pregnancy with three losses and 1 son in the last two years..  I lost one at 12 weeks( baby dies somewhat earlier),  had an ectopic and then got pregnant with my 1 year old son.  I then found out unexpectedly that I was pregannt again with my other son..  I was due march 15th.  My water broke last week and I was told it woudl be best if I delivered him.  He would die at birth,  he was still alive.  I went into labor and delivered him he died on his way out.  I held him for hours..  I feel myself wanting another Baby. I have 4, (16,13,10 and 1)  The heartache I feel right now is so unimaginable..  But I can't help thinking about it..  Am I crazy???  I haven't even mentioned it to my husband,  who would not be for it..  He wants me to schedule a tubal.  I can't..  They won;t do it while I'm grieving.,.  6 months they say..  I don;t want to anyway..  I'm very fertile should we try again???  or is it my grief talking...    
5 Responses
332074 tn?1229560525
No you are not crazy. I think you need to explain to your husband how bad you are hurting. It is possible that he is hurting as bad as you but just does not know how to express it.
Avatar universal
You are not crazy. Losing a child, whether it be a baby or older, still leaves an empty feeling inside of you and you are gonna try and find a way to fill that void. After my 8 year old daughter passed away i found myself wanting another child, even though i have a 2 year old and had 2 misacarriages in the past. I never thought I would ever say that i wanted to have a child again. The only advice i have to give you is that, i'm sure you know this, you can't replace what you lost even though your heart deeply wants to. If I were you I would try and let my heart heal a little before trying again...but you are not crazy for wanting to have another one by no means.
633757 tn?1280211465
You are not crazy I just lost my baby 3 weeks ago and we are already talking about when it is safe for me to come out pregnant again. Talk to your husband let him know how he feels, you never know maybe he is feeling the same and just doesn't want to bring up because he doesn't know how you feel. I was surpose to have a tubal after the birth of our son, but under the circumstances we decide against. So no you are not crazy for wanting to give your love to another child. I know how you feel all we want is another child even my kids want a baby. Just stay strong my thoughts and prayers are with you
648003 tn?1230563087
you are not crazy! i would have thought you were a year ago when i myself was a different person. i am pregnant  now with my third baby. i have two older girls 6 and 4 had a miscarriage and then got pregnant this time. this was going to be my last pregnancy and i was so against having another one and getting my husband a ves. but, life has changed my attitude toward having another one because i will lose this baby i am now pregnant with. i am 33 wks and he has trisomy 13. i didn't realize how much it would hurt me even more if i ended my fertility off on this note.
  knowing that i could end it off with a healthy baby in my arms is the only way for me. even though it is a bit scary a mother must not be afraid to be a mother and to not let fear control her. and, that is why now it is a must for me to try again when i would not have imagined i would have felt this way a year ago. i have changed. my husband thankfully is not afraid either and supports us having another baby because he agrees that we shouldn't end things on a death but on the completion of our family and that was 3 children soooooo  we will have 3 Lord willing. but, i think the desire is put there too by God. He has changed my heart so that i would be courageous and I do believe that He wants me to try again too. and this may be why you have the same desire. it is put there by God.  
182926 tn?1273012392
I'm so sorry you ahve to go through this.  I do believe its the worst.  I am not at peace with it yet and have deided we should wait a while before making a decision..  MY husband will be TOTALLY against it.  says we've been through too much.  I have had 8 pregnancies and have 5 children , with one  of those in heaven.  I have had an ectopic, an early m/c at 5 weeks.  a missed m/c at 12 weeks. and our poor baby Cooper..  I want so much to have a chance.  BUt can't even bring it up to him..  do I wait or do I try now??  Will he see my pain??  will he understand??  my prayers are with you..  
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