Does los of sight qualify here?

[AnnaE]

I have lost almost all the sight in my left eye, and the prognosis is not good. I could lose my eye. Doctors whm I saw for 15 years are at fault.I canot believe this has hapened. I lieraly canot acept my loss.

In addition I was very atached to my specialist for nine months.I discovered right before the 5th surgery that he had betrayed me, and probably caused more damage to my eyes. Relationship with him was so painful that I am in pain half the day; the other half, I want to protect him.I am so depressed; I canot concentrate on work I must get done.

Small city. I see his associates now and cannot say anything to them, because I want good care.I want to tel everyone and have them believe me, so that I can be validated. I canot tell, however.

Help with both loses.

[AnnaE]

I feel that support can sometimes help even more than understanding. You may not understand what I am going through, but you have tried to console me, and guide me to health. This is what I need most.

I sometimes miss my doctor so much; despite all the negative things about the doctor/patient relationship. I guess it hurts so much, because he could not give me any credit for my suffering over my eye. Instead, he made himself the focus of everything. There's more.

It is hard to explain just right, maybe because I do not yet understant it all. However, the positive feelings are painful. Maybe later I will write about it in the abuse forum.

Thanks

[AnnaE]

You are very kind. Thank you for these words.

I understand now. I apologize. I think that you and I use different words, and this created a misunderstanding. I understand the excellent point you made just now. I teach English to people from other countries and I think sometimes it is good to use simple words to anyone we don't know well, because the US has so mank kinds of English.

[jml1986]

I in no way meant to demean you. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I was merely trying to say that if you let the anger over the loss or the anger over the doctor can really be a thing that can drag you so far down that you will feel like there is no hope, and I was also trying to say that it does qualify as a loss because when you loss something like that, you have everyright to grieve over it.

I apologize for my wording. I really did not mean to come of heartless.

[AnnaE]

I find your comments confusing. What do you mean by a crutch? I am already living a productive life, but happiness will be a long time coming. I feel that you are demeaning me. This is not my fault.

No, I cannot accept it. Have you not thought that I can seek compensation from those at fault? This would make my work, my productive life more effective even more effective!

I am not not blaming you.I do not think that you mean to demean me.

I want you to treat yourself well. Are these the kind of words that you direct at yourself? I hope not. If so, I hope you will be kinder to yourself, or to whomever these words are meant.

[jml1986]

A loss is a loss. Losing your eye over a mistake made by a doctor you trusted can be just a devastating as lossing a love one. Living with a loss is the hardest part. Time will help but it will not heal, that is something you must do on your own. I would urge you to look deeply in side and decide if you wish to accept the hand you have been dealt or to use it as a crutch to feed the fact that you were betrayed and not deal with it.  

Give yourself time to work through your losses and then I hope you will let yourself heal and go on to live a happy productive life.