Hello~You have my deepest sympathy. My daddy died 7 years ago too and at times I still grieve. Grieving is a normal process and everyone experiences it differently. That being said, 7 years is a long time. Do you have any close friends you can confide in, sometimes talking to them is easier than family members, it is for me. Do you attend a church, that is also another source of help.
I am concerned that you want to commit suicide however, times will get better even if right now it doesn't seem like they will. Your daddy would not want you to feel this way, so try to think more positively for him. I highly suggest some form of counseling, either through your church or referral from your doctor. Sometimes they can come up with some amazing ideas and helps.
I´m really sorry for your loss. I lost my father 3 years and a half ago and still I feel like it never happened. The loss of someone so close to you is devastating and I know it´s very difficult to keep on with your life . You haven´t clearly process the grief as you are still in it and have suicide thoughts. I would suggest that you go to therapy and try and work on it. There is a therapy called EMDR that is also used for anxiety, grief problems, depression,etc and perhaps it could do you well. It´s scientific proven it works for grief too so perhaps you could discuss that kind of therapy with a psychologist. I´m undertaking EMDR but I have only had 1 session at the moment so can´t really give my own opinion yet. Hope you can receive some support soon. Really wish as it´s very hard to feel that bad and be completely alone.
I can relate unfortunately. Two years ago my son lost his twin baby boys. Total shock. The first was stillborn The second was doing so well and at six weeks just stopped breathing. SIDS they call it. I call it no good reason at all, just heartbreaking. Then in April last year my son stopped by and found his dad collapsed at the wood pile. He had suffered a massive stroke, one he couldn't possibly recover from. He died seven days later. He was the absolute love of my life. Had been together for 31 years. Now suddenly he isn't here. It took me months to realize I was still wAiting for him to come back from wherever he was. I am not suicidal but I do wish I had gone with him .Though it has only been a year I don't see my situation changing. I know life is all about change, Lord do I. It is the tragedy that makes us stronger so they say. All I know is that you have to honor who they were and in those loving memories keep them alive in your heart. You will never get over it. You have to learn to live as if he were still here. I wish you peace.