what else can happen

[LIZZIE LOU]

please read my story from below if you haven't already.  i am mourning the death of my father.  if that isn't enough, i just found out today that my 29 year old son has full blown aids...how in the world am i going to make it through this?  i will have to bury my own child.  i am devastated and i think this is going to be more than i can handle.

[kaznev]

Your frustration and anger must be immense.  When this happens I know that you just are so frustrated and angry.  In your anger, try and beat up a pillow.  It helps.  You may always blame your husband in some way, but you know, even though you fought throughout your pregnancy, it always takes two to fight.  Neither of you are to blame.  Your doctor will always blame himself for the death of your child and may even want to be punished for his lack of care, but to do nothing, would be worse for him.  Grief counselling should help you a great deal and maybe marriage counselling too.  Your anger and frustration is understandable and anger is part of the grief process.  I felt furious at the world when I lost my child.  I just wanted to explode at the first person that upset me, but I knew if I did, I wouldn't want to stop and I knew that I had to redirect that anger, so I took it out on a pillow and my mattress.  Most people look to blame someone or something for everything that happens in life but often is the case that the things that happen to us, happen for a reason, we just don't know why yet.  As life unfolds, we get to understand.  My heart goes out to you because I know the grief will be strong.

[Kate987]

I'm a frequent reader of this forum, thankfully I haven't had anything to write about in it.  I'm very very sorry to hear about what is going on with you and now your son.  You and your son are in my thoughs.

[PlateletGal]

I am very sorry for your great loss. I can tell you that I think it would be a good idea to get counseling. You are dealing with a few issues and all of them are painful.

Since your husband's insurance doesn't kick in for another month, you may want to call a counselor (pick one in the phone book) and ask them for referrals to counselors who take patients' on the sliding scale.

[LotsAissues]

I gave pre-pre-mature birth to my son for some reason that recently was explained to me through a surgical pathology report which was "amended" as was my records from the doctors office which not only looked as if though they were changed, he conveniently didnt write down what I went in the office complaining about days earlier. I gave birth to my son and from my understanding he died in the birth canal. Since then, I have been dealing with more anger than sadness. Could this also be due to the fact that after this happened I havent receieved any good news at all. I reacted in a bad way and quit my job after 3 weeks of the loss and 2 weeks of returning to work. I was diagnosed with moderate dysplasia. I had to have a d&c 6 weeks after giving birth because I hadnt stopped bleeding since the birth! I cant help but feel that the doctor was to blame and at the same time I blame my husband because he was very neglegent, emotionally, while I was pregnant. Every time we fought.. I would have pains. There are days were I wake up and dont want to move. There are others where I just want to run and never look back. Then there are days like yesterday that I wish I could hurt that doctor and sometimes myself! (I know that sounds rash but they are feelings and so far... I've never been much of a violent person. Never would hurt anyone, though I do think its normal to feel that way.) Are these normal feelings or should I be concerned and maybe seek pshyciatric help as well as help for all the other health issues? I dont have insurance anymore and it's hard to get help in this state since we recently moved here and my husband's insurance doesnt kick in for another month. He doesnt make that much! WHAT DO I DO???

[Haremiliana]

I'm sorry that all this have to happen to you PLEASE BE STRONG for your son he needs you now, don't think about whats gonna happened next think of the time that you'll be spending with him cherish him my dear take care..

Love Haremiliana  

[RockRose]

God bless our son.   Prayers that he has lots of love and caring around him.  

Lizzie,  I'm sorry your father died.  Your son needs you now,  in a huge way.  I hope you can somehow get through grieving your dad and take care of your son.

Prayers.

[PlateletGal]

Lizzie,

What a hand you've been dealt. I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I want to tell you though that even though your son does have full blown AIDS, that doesn't necessarily mean anything... remember people are living both with HIV and AIDS and you never know when a cure will be found. Anything is possible.

I honestly don't know what to say -- other than to be strong so you can be there for your son right now. And I believe your father is watching you from wherever he is (I call it heaven).

Hugs,

PlateletGal