Not coping with my mom's death

[tg84]

I'm 29 years old and my mom, who just turned 48 in June, died on the 1st of September, 3 months after she was diagnosed with satge 4 stomach cancer (the Oncologist said it had been there, undetected, for about 4 years). My mom is the centre of my universe, our family revolves around her. She used to call me at least 6 times a day. Nothing happened in my life without her knowing. I live alone in another city. My dad and 22 year old brother live at home. I just got a new job in corporate the day my mom was diagnosed.

I'm back in my city now and not coping at all. I miss my mom and want to be dead so that I can either be wherever she is or not have to feel this pain. I feel alone all the time and most times I am alone at home, which makes it worse. I dreamt of her last night and can't focus at all at work today. I need some advice from someone who has gone through this type of loss, on how to get through each day, because each day just gets harder.

[YaryRay]

Hi, I wanted to share my story. Mom died May 13, 2013 from ovarian cancer. She was 49, and I 30. I miss her very much, every month is sad without her, I also dream with her. In my dreams she looks either sick, or very happy and healed. I never knew this kind of pain, first time I grieve with my soul. I pray and sing songs that she used to sing. Shes always in my heart and everywhere I go theirs a memory. The house is quiet without her. But what keeps me and my brothers going is to know and believe that we will see her again someday, and that she lived a happy life. She didnt want to die, but I know she's way way better where the Creator took her. And im glad shes no longer in pain, or going through chemo, or spending nights in d hospital afraid of bad news. I miss her so much, but God only let her be here 49 yrs. And I respect that, for this life is not eternal.

I pray God helps you find a positive way to walk through this valley. What help me with grieving so much is cooking. I didn't know how to cook at all. But now im making mom proud. :) God bless you!

[SMcGregor]

Sometimes in life we are faced with the sadness of a loved one who is slowly slipping away from this physical world. Handling grief is a process and it takes time, sometimes a lot of time, before we will be able to come to the stage of thinking clearly about anything else. It is important and extremely helpful to reach out to others for assistance (and indeed for others to reach out to the one who is suffering to help them through this time). We need to talk about every single aspect of the event.

[MYoungAtHeart]

When a man or woman becomes a parent, they do so unselfishly and with great love and faith in the future.  We sacrifice our time, our money, our tears, our love for our children.  A childs small tears wounds us like a
physical ache and our days are spent designing the best possible life for our child.

A loving Mom would hate to see you so unhappy for any reason.  She is always going to be with you as long as you have a memory of her.
From your letter, your Mom did a wonderful job raising you to have the best possible life you can have.  Even though she is not here physically, you can talk to her, ask her advice, tell her your problems, let her see you thriving and write letters to her in the form of a journal or long term love letter.  And as time passes, as it does, you will hear little wisps of her voice telling you that she loves you and is proud of you.  You will hear it in the sound of birds singing, or the glow of a beautiful sunset, or hear it in your own childrens laughter....

I wish you Peace and Healing.  I wish you Comfort and Strength.  I wish you the very best that life has to offer you

M