Urgent advice needed please

Question

This is a bit difficult.  My gran sadly passed away at the beginning of May this year.  She was cremated and a date was to be set for the scattering of her ashes.  My children ages 14.12.11. and 6 did not come to the funeral - I did not want to pressure them into doing so.  

I have just been told that her ashes are to be scattered this Friday morning.  I am in a quandry, the children will only have been back at school as of tomorrow.  I just feel that they have (as children do) come to terms with losing her and are happily getting on with their lives and school.  I really don't want them disrupted and upset again by making them come on Friday.  If I'm honest, even I don't want to go on Friday, it just feels like I am getting to a point where I am coping with losing her and this is all just too much.

My main concern is obviously the children, I know they won't want to come but I know my dad (my gran was his mother) will create if I say they are not coming.

Any advice  - please?

bernie40 · Answer

Thank you so much for your kind words and support.

Zepora · Answer

I feel that you've made the right decision. There comes a time when you have to "let go" of her and you have already gotten there, your children can be told that their great-grandma is a star in God's heavenly universe and you will all be united when the time comes.
I am so sorry for your loss, my deepest condolences to you and your family.
Hugs & Prayers

bernie40 · Answer

Thank you for your quick response. You are right. My husband has explained to my dad how upset I am about it all and he has apparently said that I do not have to go. As I have already said my goodbyes both at her bedside and her funeral, I shall not go and as with the funeral I shall not be expecting my kids to either.

jml1986 · Answer

They are your children and you have to do what is best for them and for you. I know it can be tough to go against your dads wishes, but it really is about what you think is right for your kids.