No Will

[Bugarbr]

I lost my father back in January. He was only 63 and was diagnosed as supposedly having a tumor. The doctors told us he would need immediate brain surgery. My family was so confused and distraught that we listened to these doctors. My dad had the surgery and never recovered. Now the time has come that fathers day, bday, and here come the holidays. *sigh*

I miss him so much every day. He was the one i always talked to. Daily. Now I have lost my job and feel completely and utterly helpless. I don't want to do anything at all except stay at home. It's hard looking for a job because i feel like i'm nothing. Dad used to at least try to tell me things to make it better. My wife is on the verge of being done with me because she wants me to snap out of this. But what she doesn't understand (or maybe she does and I just don't feel like she does) is that my dad was my best friend. The only one I could talk to about the little problems in my life, as well as the big ones. Now that is all gone.

I sometimes wish I would just die as well. I'm not suicidal. I could never take my own life. Just sometimes wish I weren't here anymore. I have a wife, 2 daughters, and a grandson. My mother is still alive, and I have a brother. But they are in their own little world apart from mine. I can't seem to find the will to get up. I'm sure others in the world are going through the same thing. I just have no clue what it is I'm supposed to do with my life. No dad. No job. I'm lost....

[suzi-q]

You are definitely suffering from depression.  Please get tot he doctor and get medication and therapy.  It isn't fair to you or anyone else in your family.  You have a family that needs you.  Also remember, your father LIVES inside you.  You know what he would say....YOU NEED TO DO IT! Remember, you want to make him proud.  It is hard, but baby steps everyday!

[plucker]

You have to be strong You have 2 children and a wife to think about. I know how you feel because the same thing happened to me My only brother died at 36 my mother at 52 and my dad I am the only one left that took care of him I felt empty inside, when he died as i,am sure you do.Try to pick yourself up and to go on Each day will get easier God bless

[jml1986]

You are depressed and you need to seek help for it. I too felt that way when my dad passed away 8 yrs ago. You need to learn to live for the moment. Example: for this moment in time, I am doing okay. You will have your good days and your bad days and these are things that you must do. I will tell you that as for you getting over losing your dad, everyday for the rest of your life it will always be on your mind. However, this being said, you need to get back into life now. So as bad and as hard as it is to do, it must be done, for the sake of your family.

[LukeL]

You need to confide in your wife everything you are feeling. While I am not a doctor it seems to me you have only made a real attachment with your father and not with any other member of your family. I don't know if it is a trust issue or a fear of rejection. But you need to tell someone close to you what you are feeling.

Support groups are always a great tool, and many hospitals will provide you with  this information when a patient dies, or upon request. Seeking the clergy if you are religous can also help. Even talking to your dad while you are alone can help if you have some unresolved issues.

[LLWB]

You need to see your doctor and get some help. You seem to be suffering from depression. Taking something for a while will help relieve these symptoms. We never get over losing a parent, but the grief will lessen in time. Have you tried a grief support group? That is what they are there for. You do not have to do this alone. Surgery is never guaranteed, and  a tumor must be delt with. I'm sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself, as you know your Dad would want you to do.