suicide ,,of my two children ,....

[bell124]

hi everyone ,.this is my frist time in the loss and grief ,im in the depression forum ,...........i couldnt up till come in here ,.........but im here now ........and my question is ,............if there is someone out there that has had two children die from suicide can they please let me know how they are dealing with it ,............because im not dealing with it so good ,.......i have become suicidal myself through this ,........i know i need to be here for my young son ,,but sometimes the pain is overwhelming ,.........and i dont see my young son there ,..........its like i go into a world of my own ,......and im afraid i will never come out of that world ,....i dont want to die ,..but i dont want to live with this pain .,........i have a very good friend on mh ,.......and she has been great to me ,..but as much as that has been i still need to talk to someone in my position ,.............dont ask me why because i dont even know that myself ,...till it happens ,............thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this ,..........

[jeh57]

I had to find my glue...............okay,i put alittle dab on the broken pieces and put it back together..........it won't ever beat the same,it will skip a beat here and there...........but it will be okay.  :)

[bell124]

thanks jen ,....well if you have super glue will you please use it now !!,....use it now !!!,....

[jeh57]

I know your heart is broken into pieces...............i have some super glue,i know it can't be completely fixed,but we can try to mend it :)   Your angels are always with you...they want you to smile again.....they found me for you :)

[bell124]

hi jen ,......you are allays here for me ,....lol,,,i cant seen to get away from you can i ,..lol.....chit !!if i was to take my life you would sneak up on me wouldn't you .lol...........i know you are here for me jen more than anyone i ever knew in person ,.......if i keep looking up at the sky i will bump in all the lamppost's ,....lol.......my two angles were with me in the u.k. i know that now ,...thanks to gord ,..and jen mark and Tracey  know you are been a good friend to  me ,....but my heart is still broken and there is no way of fixing it .....no way ,....and as time goes on it gets worse ,.......i feel so bare without them ,..........

[jeh57]

Bernie......................I know you are still hurting and you always will hurt................i am glad you were born...............if it wasn't for you,Lisa and kevin wouldn't be here...neither would our little Abi and Craig...............Hold your head up high and look to the sky...there will always be two angels looking down and protecting you.........Your friend 4-ever....Jen

[bell124]

thank you for you comment on taking the time to answer me ,......its been 3  years since my son and 3 years since my daughter ,.....over all 6 years ,....i know everything you have said you are right about ,.....and i will be honest with you there are times i just dont want to be here, children or not ,....i have had enought at times with everyone and everything ,....this is so hard for me and i am still trying ,.....but if i had just one wish it would be to wish i was never born ,......