If you were my patient I would advise you a couple of things:
First if you truly have an abcess you need to have that drained--an abcess is a collection of pus that represents a significant infection and it can spread, so it is not something I would fool around with!
Secondly, you need something to soften that stool! Lots of things will do--some of the best remedies are plain old fashioned prunes, MIlk of Magnesia is safe, as is Colace. Those will help to soften the stool, but won't help to get you going. For that I would recommend drinking about 3-5L of water in one day (yes that's right!). Daily until things start to happen. Miralax is another very good alternative.
Thirdly, your boyfriend needs more experience using the cold water while showering--you've got enough other things to worry about without pressure for that right now!
Hope this helps!
the abscess had already burst when id found it. its been getting better since. ive been checked by 2 doctors and they both say its nothing to worry about. i will keep having it looked at tho just so im not worried all the time. ive been told that all these things should get better and clear up after the birth. as for the constipation im ok for now, i just ate some fruit and drank more water. the worst thing now is having SPD, its driving me insane.