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Avatar universal

Help me. Worried and anxiety

Dear Doctor,

About a year ago, I was in China and I was having a bachelors party and ended up in a massage palour drunnk.

During the vaginal intercourse (she was on top) the condom was left behind or broke and I was propably in there for 30 seconds tops. I don't even remember if it did ever came out of her. The condom was on when I penetrated her. My best guess is it came off when I stopped. I did not ejaculate in her and stopped. She asked me if I was ok (no disease), I said I'm alright. She said she was alright.

That incident was so vague and maybe I was in denial that it did happen.

Back home in Australia, I married my wife and we had protected sex untill recently we were trying for a baby. We had unprotected sex once and I ejaculated in her.

Just a few weeks ago, I realize that I had some small bumps on my penis and it bled one morning. I went for a doctor check up and they said it was genital warts and prescribed  aldara. I used it and the warts are dissappearing.
I was tested negative for chlamydia

I told my wife about the incident that I had at the massage palour (we took a day off and spend the day talking about it)...and also told her that she is at risk.

She is a loving wife and forgave me about it and we are both now very worried. I cried and weeped like a little boy and regreted what I did to her.

I know that I was irresponsible and weak and the worse thing was to put her at risk and there was no reason I should be forgiven. We are also contemplating living with HIV now.

I will be testing after getting a response.

I have a few questions

a) What are my chances of me contracting HIV?

b) I have realized small bumps on my penis (I'd assume that it was genital warts) Could I have gotten it from the SW?

c) If I have HIV, what are the chances of one ejaculation in to my wife and her getting HIV. It was 4 weeks since then. She showed no symtoms.

Thank you in advance for your service
5 Responses
936016 tn?1332769204
Good Morning everybody - thanks for the original post and the nice reassuring and accurate help from other contributors.

I agree that your risk is low. Firstly you started with a condom and although something happened to it, it was probably in place for a while at least and will have protected you during that interval. I think from the statements made by the lady concerned that there is little risk that she was HIV positive in the first place.

On average, a single penetrative episode will result in a risk of around 1 in 1000 to 1 in 1200. There are things that will alter that and you can see my recent blog on this site on this.

So, unlikely you have HIV.

If you were to be HIV positive and had gone beyond the first three to four months or so then your viral load -- the amount of virus in your blood stream will have declined. I think the likelhood IF you were HIV positive is unlikely.

You both need to reassess this now and get some expert tests done for STD's and also HIV. These tests will be certain at this interval.

best regards, Sean
Avatar universal
chnaces very slim.
yes you could have gotten the warts from her because those can be spread from intact skin.
chances of contracting hiv from u in this case ur wife is low.
just get tested to allay your fears.
Avatar universal
Your HIV risk is very small here.  Your risk is small, and it is even less for your wife.  
Get the tests to make sure though.     Good luck.

Avatar universal
I am very gratefull for all your comments and advice. It gives us much more to get the tests done.

We thank you.
Avatar universal
But i think it is very difficult for some one to get warts after one year.
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