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Confused Risk Assessment

Doctor, I recently (about a week ago) engaged in sexual relations with a female friend from Chicago. I performed unprotected oral sex on her for about 5-7 minutes and we rubbed genitals for a couple of minutes at best though I did not penetrate her vagina. 2-3 days after our sexual experience I came down with a sore throat and experienced a couple of night sweats but I'm pretty sure I didn't have a fever cause I took my temperature regularly and they all checked out normal (between 96-98). My sore throat went away after a few days and overall I still feel normal (except for the anxiety). However, a few days ago I found out that she had also engaged in unprotected sex with a man she met at a bar about 2 weeks ago. Supposedly, the man contacted her two days after they had unprotected sex and informed her that he had blood in his urine and it burned to urinate but that he got tested and everything was normal. My questions are the folowing:
1.) What is your opinion about my "symptons"?
2.) What is the risk assessment for a heterosexual male performing unprotected oral sex on a female?
3.) Is rubbing genitals with no penetration for a span of a couple of minutes a high risk act?
4.) Assuming the man with whom my female friend had sex with a couple of weeks ago is HIV-negative, would blood in his urine and pain while urinating be indicative of anything my female friend might have or could be transferrable to me considering the acts we performed together?
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239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Despite your apparent assumption, the chance your partner has HIV are extremely low.  Heterosexually acquired HIV is very rare in women in the US, unless they are the REGULAR partners of an HIV infected man, or if they are injection drug users or commercial sex workers--and even most of those aren't infected.  Second, non-penetrating sex (often called 'genital apposition') is zero risk for HIV and most STDs, or close to it.  Third, symptoms like yours never are a serious indicator of new HIV infection in low risk situations like yours; and your absence of fever is strong evidence against new HIV infection. (Night sweats without fever are meaningless; real night sweats cannot occur without fever.)

On the other hand, your partner's history of sex with a guy with urinary pain and blood in his urine suggests a potential STD risk.  Further, although HIV is uncommon in sexually active young women in the US, chlamydia and other STDs are very common.

So my responses to your questions are:  1) Your symptoms suggest a minor viral respiratory infection, nothing more; they do not suggest HIV or any STD.  2,3)  Small risk of herpes or HPV, but nothing else.  People will define risk differently, but in general I consider such exposure low risk. 4) See above.  If you had had unprotected vaginal sex, I would say get tested for common STDs.  If you are otherwise sexually active outside committed relationships, you ought to have routine HIV and STD testing once a year anyway.  So if that hasn't happened, this would be a good time, since it's on your mind.  But not because of this particular encounter.

I hope this helps. Best wishes--  HHH, MD
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Avatar universal
Thank you very much Doctor for your time and attention regarding my question. I really do appreciate your response and I can't even begin to tell you how helpful this site has been for me.
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