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Avatar universal

HIV scare !

Hi doc - please help me I'm freaking out big time. I'm pretty sure I've contracted hiv

3 weeks ago I was intimate with a female who i did not know well and she is promiscious from what I gathered. I am a male and she performed unprotected oral sex on me and she also "rode" me while I was on my back but with no penetration. I was unprotected and basically she glided her vagina over my exposed penis. I don't think there was much vaginal fluid but i'm sure there was some. It was kinda rough so I stopped her after about 15 seconds. Again, no penetration.

2 days later - I had trouble peeing while at work and I started to pee blood. I got scared and visited the ER where a urinalysis found bacteria so they treated me for a UTI by providing a weeks worth of antibiotics. They also treated me for gonnareah and clamydia just in case..

That week I felt fine but about 10 days after exposure I started to feel a tingling sensation in my legs and burning feet when I layed down at night. My knees were also sore one night. I also developed these really weird muscle twitches that happen randomly. I also had diarreah for over a week. Today it stopped but my stools are still smaller than usual and they remain a very light brown color.

I also recently developed a white coating on the top of my tongue that I can't scrape off with a tongue cleaner. I'm worried that it is OHL which only happens in hiv patients. I have been smoking over a pack a day though because of stress

I confronted the female and she said her regular screening that got back did show negative for HIV but I can't trust her. She did say the test came back positive for HPV. She also admitted she had unprotected sex 9 weeks before she was tested so I don't know if thats enough time for an accurate blood test..She also admitted to having a fever and strep throat when I talked to her. So between us we are showing almost all the classic ARS symptoms.

Is there a chance I put myself at risk?
10 Responses
300980 tn?1194933000
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the Forum.  I hope you will take what I am about to say to heart and get a grip on yourself.  Your risk for HIV is essentially zero and you have no reason for concern.  I have read the interactions you have had with Teak, Lizzie and others on the HIV Community site and agree with all that they have already told you.  I will briefly tell you why you are not at risk.

1.  You assessment of the woman you has sex with is rather judgmental.  Was she promiscuous because she chose to have sex with you?  Irrespective of partner number, If this woman was not an IV drug user, the probability of her having HIV is less than 1 in a thousand.  You cannot get HIV from a person who does not have it.
2.  You did not have penetrative sex.  No penetration, no risk.  At most the actions you describe can be described as masturbation and even if she had HIV, no one has EVER gotten HIV from masturbation--NEVER!!
3.  Your symptoms are in no way suggestive of HIV.  You raise concerns about OHL and thrush- these concerns are misplaced.  People do not get OHL or increase rates of thrush until they have had HIV form years, not days or weeks.  Smoking could contribute to the changes you note on your tongue.  The symptoms you mention could well be due to anxiety or some other, non-STD, non-HIV viral illness you caught in the course of your normal activities.


Bottom line, your risk for HIV from the exposure you describe is so low that there is no need for testing. The counselor you spoke to was being overly cautious when she said your exposure was "risky".  At some point 6 or more weeks after the exposure of concern get an HIV test.  It will be negative.  When it is, accept it as proof that you do not have HIV.  

Hope this helps.  EWH
Avatar universal
thanks doc - you really did ease my concerns and explained everything well. I will add that I'm uncirmcumsized and I live in NYC where I here heterosexual HIV cases are on the rise. I was just worried because the grinding was rather coarse so I was worried that it created a microscopic cut or something

That being said - I'm going to try and put this out of my mind. I've spent so much money on this its not even funny. I submitted my blood for an HIV PCR test in which I get the results back on friday but I know how unreliable it could be.

Thanks again doc.
300980 tn?1194933000
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Don't worry about the "grinding"  Remember what I said about masturbation and masturbation is all about friction.  There is no risk.  EWH
Avatar universal
thanks - one last question..

so even if there is potentially some fluid exchange (i.e that could get into my urethra) since her outer vagina was on my penis there is still no risk?
Avatar universal
hey doc...now I have a canker sore on the uderside of my tongue

I haven't had a canker sore in over 10 years.this has to be to much of a coincedence.
300980 tn?1194933000
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
This will be the last reply.  You need to move on and my answers don't seem to be helping.

I repat- NO RISK.  Your tests (which you need only for your peace of mind, not for any medical reason) will prove that.  

Canker sore is unrelated.  A coincidence or perhaps precipitated in part by your anxiety.  EWH
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