Welcome to the Forum. I hope you will take what I am about to say to heart and get a grip on yourself. Your risk for HIV is essentially zero and you have no reason for concern. I have read the interactions you have had with Teak, Lizzie and others on the HIV Community site and agree with all that they have already told you. I will briefly tell you why you are not at risk.
1. You assessment of the woman you has sex with is rather judgmental. Was she promiscuous because she chose to have sex with you? Irrespective of partner number, If this woman was not an IV drug user, the probability of her having HIV is less than 1 in a thousand. You cannot get HIV from a person who does not have it.
2. You did not have penetrative sex. No penetration, no risk. At most the actions you describe can be described as masturbation and even if she had HIV, no one has EVER gotten HIV from masturbation--NEVER!!
3. Your symptoms are in no way suggestive of HIV. You raise concerns about OHL and thrush- these concerns are misplaced. People do not get OHL or increase rates of thrush until they have had HIV form years, not days or weeks. Smoking could contribute to the changes you note on your tongue. The symptoms you mention could well be due to anxiety or some other, non-STD, non-HIV viral illness you caught in the course of your normal activities.
Bottom line, your risk for HIV from the exposure you describe is so low that there is no need for testing. The counselor you spoke to was being overly cautious when she said your exposure was "risky". At some point 6 or more weeks after the exposure of concern get an HIV test. It will be negative. When it is, accept it as proof that you do not have HIV.
Hope this helps. EWH
thanks doc - you really did ease my concerns and explained everything well. I will add that I'm uncirmcumsized and I live in NYC where I here heterosexual HIV cases are on the rise. I was just worried because the grinding was rather coarse so I was worried that it created a microscopic cut or something
That being said - I'm going to try and put this out of my mind. I've spent so much money on this its not even funny. I submitted my blood for an HIV PCR test in which I get the results back on friday but I know how unreliable it could be.
Thanks again doc.
Don't worry about the "grinding" Remember what I said about masturbation and masturbation is all about friction. There is no risk. EWH
thanks - one last question..
so even if there is potentially some fluid exchange (i.e that could get into my urethra) since her outer vagina was on my penis there is still no risk?
hey doc...now I have a canker sore on the uderside of my tongue
I haven't had a canker sore in over 10 years.this has to be to much of a coincedence.
This will be the last reply. You need to move on and my answers don't seem to be helping.
I repat- NO RISK. Your tests (which you need only for your peace of mind, not for any medical reason) will prove that.
Canker sore is unrelated. A coincidence or perhaps precipitated in part by your anxiety. EWH