HIV - Prevention Forum
This expert forum is not accepting new questions. Please post your question in one of our medical support communities.
Avatar universal


I wonder if you can help ?

The girl i was dating only for a sort time .. now thinks she could be infected with HIV
she tells me shes having problems with her limp glands in her throat and has some white marks on her tonsillis  .. which I'm lead to beleive is the first signs..plus she also feeling rough..

We did a hiv home test .. 2 - 3 weeks ago. but shes doesn't think enough time has pasted ..  since she had UN protected sex... with someone else before me (she thinks the test was only done 2 months after .. and not 3 plus months as normal)

I think the problems shes having could be down to the tablets shes having due to depression.. ?? shes been on them 2 years or  more .. and dosent alway take them regularly.

Anyway i ended up in bed with her ..  did wear a condom .. but soon as entering her .. my penis entered her for about 30 seconds or more.. before i noticed my penis had gone all the way through it ... no semen had entered her,

I believe due to the depression tablets she can't really orgasm .... don't know if this matters...

So of course I'm worried about getting HIV .. can you help .. and answer my question ?

6 Responses
239123 tn?1267651214
It is very unlikely your partner has HIV or, even if she does, that you caught it.  First, HIV is rare in women and heterosexal men in most industrialized countries, except in a few groups like injection drug users.  Second, what you were "led to believe" is wrong; HIV is a rare cause of the symptoms you describe in your partner.  They are much more typical for a garden vareity virus or strep throat, or even mono, than HIV.  Third, condom protected sex is very safe, so even in the very unlikely chance she has HIV, it is very unlikely you caught it.

What to do?  Your partner should see a health care provider about her sore throat; if it's strep, she might need an antibiotic.  If her doctor thinks HIV actually is a possibility, both you and she should follow his or her advice about testing.  Or you could visit your own health care provider or your local health department clinic and have an HIV test.  Depending on the details of your and your partner's sexual history, your providers might also recommend you be tested for other STDs.

In the meantime, don't worry about it.  The chance of HIV here is almost zero.

Please spend at least an hour reading other threads on this forum.  You will find lots of stories like yours and lots of more detailed discussions about how rare HIV would be in this circumstance.  If after that there is still something you don't understand, feel free to return with a brief follow-up question.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD
Avatar universal
Thanks very much for the answer given .. very helpful ... just one thing .. you say the  condom protected sex is very safe ... but the condom tore .. and i entered the vigina .. And my penis was fully exposed to her insides ?

Thanks P
239123 tn?1267651214
Sorry, I missed that the condom failed.  That increases the risk.  Still, hen a woman has HIV, the chance of transmission to a male partner averages only once for every 2,000 episodes of unprotected vaginal sex.  And as I said, it is very unlikely she has HIV anyway.  So this doesn't change my opinion or advice.
Avatar universal
Hi Thanks for that.. i didn't *** inside her .. and i replaced the comdom asap.. don't no if this makes a difference.

Also .. have just received a text from her .. saying she has a unexplained cough and a sore throat .. and says its a sign of aids ??

Can you advise on both matters ??

Thanks for you time
Avatar universal
Attached to the above question...
She has ***


Rapid weight loss
Dry cough ***
shortness of breath
Recurring fever or profuse night sweats
Profound and unexplained fatigue  ***
Swollen lymph glands in the armpits, groin, or neck
Diarrhea that lasts for more than a week
White spots or unusual blemishes on the tongue, in the mouth, or in the throat ***
Red, brown, pink, or purplish blotches on or under the skin, or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids
Memory loss,
depression, ***
or other neurological disorders.
239123 tn?1267651214
This doesn't change my opinion or advice.  Every single one of the symptoms listed above occurs in many conditions in addition to HIV, and most of those conditions are much more common than HIV.  Even with ALL those symptoms, most people don't have HIV -- and for someone with only a few of them, especially if at low risk (like most women), the chances are almost zero.

Please accept the reassurance you have been given.  Stop overthinking it and stop searching the web for bad news, which is all you'll find.  As I said above, your partner needs to see a doctor clinic.  You should see your doctor for further questions if you remain concerned.

If you decide to have an HIV test after a few weeks, or if your partner gets a specific diagnosis from her provider, feel free to return to tell us.  Until then, I won't have anything more to say.
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
These tips can help HIV-positive women live a long, healthy life.
Despite the drop in new infections, black women are still at a high risk for HIV, the virus that causes Aids.
What are your HIV treatment options, and how do you choose the right one? Our panel of experts weighs in.
Learn the truth behind 14 common misconceptions about HIV.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A breakthrough study discovers how to reduce risk of HIV transmission by 95 percent.