I'm not going to waste any words on explaining again why this was a zero risk exposure that did not warrant HIV testing except for reassurance. Directly to your questions:
1,2) It was a third generation antibody test. 4th generation tests are third gen antibody tests combined with p24 antigen test. (Wherever you were tested could have told you.)
3) Even if there was significant risk -- as discussed, there was not -- the negative result you have had is highly reliable. 3 months is a standard recommendation, but is rarely necessary. Here is a thread that explains the discrepancy:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/-A-Question-on-Testing/show/1347755 (read it all; the key information is in a follow-up comment).
4) No, those symptoms do not suggest HIV.
5) Yes. If I had been in your situation, I would never have stopped having unprotected sex with my wife.
6) No, you do not have HIV.
Let's dispense with follow-up comments. There is no scenario you can think up that would change my opinion or advice.
HHH, MD