Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.
You had accurate replies in the community forum. HIV is not transmitted sexually except by intercourse; if a bare penis (no condom) does not enter another person's vagina or rectum, there is no risk. HIV absolutely cannot be transmitted by the sorts of contact you have described here.
Therefore, the answers to questions 1-4 are the same: No!
HIV doesn't cause a runny nose, and it doesn't cause pain in the groin or armpits. (The inflamed lymph nodes with HIV usually are painless.)
Based on this exposure and your symptoms, you did not need HIV testing. However, a standard ELISA test is around 60% reliable at 17 days. If you want to have a conclusive test, have another ELISA at 6-8 weeks, or a combo test (for both HIV antibody and antigen) at 4 weeks. Below is a thread that discusses the time required for conclusive testing, depending on which test (or combination of tests) is done:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1891685
So all is well. You could not have caught HIV. Don't be worried at all.
HHH, MD