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Avatar universal

Lying Husband

I was married and found out my husband was cheating.  He left for the other woman.  I was devastated.  I knew a guy at work for about a year.  We began talking and started dating immediately.  I was just at a vulnerable point in my life.  I had always know he had 2 kids from 2 previous marriages.  He was a cop.  I was a paramedic.  We started dating in July 2005.  In September 2005, I found out I was pregnant.  We married in October 2005.  I left him 16 days later because he had lied to me about his kids and because of physical violence.  He actually had 5 kids from 5 different women.  He used to be a truck driver and who knows what he did with who out on the road.  He also used to use crystal meth (I think he still does).  He never used IV drugs, but any drugs that alter your mind could cause you to perform some risky acts.  He also got another woman pregnant before we were divorced.  I also know of two other women he was dating during the short period we were together.  I probably only had sex with him less than 10 times.  I was also told he raped two women when he was working at a particular sheriff's dept and that was why he was fired.  he was never convicted though.  It has been two years.  I have a healthy 20-month old girl.  I have not had any symptoms that I know of.  I had bronchitis in January 2007 that went away with antibiotics.  I'm just recently began to think about it.  I don't know that he has ever been tested and I have no contact with him anymore.  I have a restraining order on him and he terminated parental rights on our child.  I do keep headaches here lately.  I never had the "flu-like" symptoms they described shortly after exposure.  I was tested yesterday, but it will be 1-2 weeks before I get the results.  I'm a nervous wreck.  What are my chances of testing positive?

Also, he is 11 years older than me.  I would think with his sexual background, he would be showing symptoms by now.  As of October 2005, when I left, he was not.
6 Responses
300980 tn?1194933000
Take a deep breath and relax. The chances that you have HIV are very, very low.  Why?  Well first of all, because he was probably not infected.  Even with his troublesome history, odds are that he was not infected.  Second, each act of vaginal intercourse with an infected partner caries a less than 1 in 1000 chance of transmitting infected, thus after 10 exposures your chances of infection are still less than 1 in 000, IF HE WAS INFECTED AND THIS IS UNLIKELY.  Finally, you were probably tested for HIV during your pregnancy, whether you know it or not.  You can check with your OB but HIV testing is recommended for all pregnant women and they should have your test result.  The result from your prenatal screening should be reassuring while you wait for the more definitive answer from your more recent test.

Remember, your chances of being infected are very low.  Hope this helps.  EWH
Avatar universal
Is HIV not as easily contracted as most people think?  Why do so many people have it?
Avatar universal






300980 tn?1194933000
A good question with a complex answer.  Some points to remember.

People do not get infected with any infectious disease every time they are exposed.  Their chance of infection changes depending on the intensity of exposure (how close, how long, how many times is one exposed).  think of your own experience with colds and the flu.  You have no doubt been exposed plenty of times when you did not become infected.  

Now lets move on to HIV.  First, type of exposure is important.  Odds of transmission - 1 in 100 for rectal sex, 1 in 1-2000 for penile-vaginal sex, 1 in 10-20,000 for oral sex.  Sure some real unlucky people get it on their first exposure but conversely some don't get it until their 100th or 1000th exposure.  Then, these risks are also modified by other factors such as coexistent STDs for instance which can increase the probability of transmission or condoms which can reduce it.   Putting all this together, along with the fact that overall HIV is not that common (less that 1/2 of 1% of all Americans have HIV, overall) the risk is relatively low.

Having just said it is relatively low for many people, now let me say it is also too high (and higher for some subgroups in whom the infection is more common than in others, men who have sex with other men for instance).  Why, because it is preventable by knowing one's partners and their risk, taking precautions (condoms, etc),etc. The purpose of this site is to help that process by helping persons to judge their risk and to help advise them as to logical steps in taking care of themselves.  I hope we accomplish that.  EWH
Avatar universal
I have had a vaginal yeast infection that goes away with treatment and comes back within a week.  I have used Diflucan, Terazol, and Monistat.  I didn't mention it in the above question because I thought it was gone, but it has come back.  There is no discharge and no odor...just red, itchy, and swelling.  I have not had sex since I left my ex-husband two years ago, so it can't be an STD.  My last pap smear was 6 months ago.  It was normal.  I have read that a recurrent vaginal yeast infection could be the first sign in women of HIV infection.  Is this true and how common is it?  I do not have flu-like symptoms, no swollen lymph nodes, nothing but a yeast infection.
Avatar universal
Your answers are so enlighting and the fact you bring a broader spectrum makes people @ ease. The internet is a HORRIBLE place to read about HIV especially if ya just go to google..However I find The Doctors here are VERY KNOWLEDGABLE !! Kudo's.
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