Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Please help me Doctor I am terrified

Hello and thanks for your help. I am a heterosexual female who had two sexual encounters with a guy.  He was so pushy and I think he is probably really promiscuous.  The first time I gave him unprotected fellatio for a few minutes with no ejaculation and then we had protected sex.  One week later we had another encounter where we had unprotected oral sex for a few minutes, and then he put a condom on and we had sex for maybe 5 minutes or so and I noticed the condom was only convering maybe one half of his penis.  It didn't break however.  So, then he took the condom off and I performed fellatio for another minute or so and then I used my hand on him until he ejaculated.  The very night after the 2nd episode and 8 days after the first:  I woke up with my neck feeling sore, and my lymph node in my neck felt swollen.  I also felt very clammy, a little sweaty and kind of achy all over.  Over the next couple of days, I had some chills and felt cold and a little achy near my groin and my right arm near my elbow on top.  Another week went by and my throat was very red and hurt, so I went to the doctor and he gave me a z-pac.  I started noticing that my eyes felt sensitive to light and I started getting mild headaches every day. One time during watching TV, I also noticed that my hearing went out of one ear for about 15 seconds.  It has now been 4 weeks since the 2nd encounter and 5 weeks since the first, and I have a small rash about 2-3 inches  near my neck.  Does this rash sound indicative of an ARS rash? What do you think my chances are of getting hiv from the 2 acts of unprotected fellatio with no ejaculation and 2 acts of protected vaginal intercourse with one time the penis not being fully covered? At some point during that time I remember burning my mouth on some hot fries would this increase my risk if that was the day that it happened, I can't remember.  Do you think I should get an hiv test and if so do you think a 4 or 6 week test would be reliable?
9 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
From a medical or risk assement perspective, there is no point in another test at 3 months or any other time.  There is no information in your preivous message that should leave you "still so concerned".

Like the MA health department, Dr. Hook and I agree that in almost all situations, a negative HIV test 6 weeks after the last possible exposure is definitive, especially in low risk situations like yours.  But obviously you are having trouble accepting the overwhelming evidence that you don't have HIV and undoubtedly will require yet another test for its psychological benefit, i.e. to help convince yourself you don't have HIV.  So it's fine with me if you get tested again at 3 months.

That will be all for this thread.  I'll have no further comments.
Helpful - 1
239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Congratulations on your negative test, which is valid.  There is no reason to suspect a difference in test reliability between 7 weeks and 7 weeks +/- a day.  The details of your sexual encounter are irrelevant:  you could have injected yourself with HIV infected blood, but he negative blood test proves you were not infected.  You certainly should "feel safe" you don't have HIV.
Helpful - 1
239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Skin-to-skin contact doesn't transmit HIV and cuts or sores on the skin probalby don't make much difference in this.  There are no data to prove that male to female transmission risk is affected by ejaculation in the vagina, but logically the risk should be lower.

Don't dwell on the detailed mechanics of transmission.  Instead just remember that even if your partner had HIV, and WITH ejaculation, the average HIV transmission risk is only 1 in 1,000 for any single exposure.  So the odds are strongly in your favor.

So be mellow about HIV testing.  It will be negative.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dr. HHH,

I went ahead and waited a little longer, and just did the rapid hiv finger prick test yesterday and the result was negative.  This was one day shy of being at 7 weeks post exposure for the first encounter and 8 weeks post exposure for the second.  Just to recap the exposure was protected sex and unprotected oral both times with no ejaculation.  The second time, the condom didn't cover the entire shaft of the penis however.  Do you think that I can feel safe that I don't have HIV?

Thanks so much for your help
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dr. Hansfield,

Thank you so much for your reply.  Your work that you do on this forum is an incredible service to the community!  About the incident where his condom wasn't covering his entire penis....Is it true that hiv from this is less likely since precum and ejaculation wasn't exposed to my vagina?  Is the skin to skin contact of the upper part of his penis a major risk? I didn't see any cuts or sores on his penis?  I am still going to get tested but I have such a fear of being tested and it turning out positive.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your help!  You are a saint for helping as many people as you do on this forum who are scared and feel that they have no one else to turn to. I"m sure people don't tell you enough how much you help them, but just know that you are helping people in great need when they feel like they can't talk to anyone else.  Thanks for everything you do!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dear Dr. Hansfield,

I felt so much better after your message and I also called the Aids Hotline which was out of Boston Massachusetts.  They told me that my 6 week negative rapid Unigold test was conclusive unless I was undergoing chemotherapy, had an organ transplant etc.  But, I have recently started worrying again and here is why:  You see, My husband whom I loved very much divorced me, and I went through a major depression and that is why I believe I acted out of character and had sex with the guy mentioned previously.  Anyway, since that encounter, my ex husband has been begging me back, and after he and I went together and got the negative rapid hiv test (his also came back negative) and he said he hasn't had sex with anyone in the past 3 months).  But, after our negative rapid tests, we had unprotected sex, and the very next day after we had sex, he said his neck was hurting.  He has complained for 2 weeks about his neck hurting.  I was honest with him before we went for testing and told him that 8 days after I had protected sex with the other guy and 1 day after the 2nd protected sex and unprotected oral.....my neck started hurting and I felt like my lymph nodes were swollen.  Now, the next day after me and my ex husband had unprotected sex...now his neck feels swollen.  Do you think this could be him experiencing ARS from having sex with me? Surely the experts on the Aids Hotline in Boston Massachusetts wouldnt' say that if someone tested in Massachusetts and was negative after 6 weeks they are negative if that isn't conclusive.  I also called the Boston Massachusetts Children's Hospital and they same the same thing.  Do you think I should go for a 3 month test?  This is the last question I will ask, and I am sorry to bother you.  Thank you for all of your kindness and help.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dr. Hansfield,

I am praying that you will answer because I am still so worried, and I am hoping to put all of this behind me.  I felt so relieved after I got the negative rapid unigold finger prick test at 6 weeks and 6 days after the last episode of protected sex and unprotected oral sex.  But my previous message before this is why I am still so concerned.
Helpful - 0
239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the HIV forum.  The bottom line is that it is very unlikey you caught HIV in these events, and your symptoms do not suggest it.  But you should be tested for HIV to prove it and for the reassurance you will feel from knowing for sure.

You had partly unprotected sex, since apparently there was at least one episode of vaginal penetration without condom; there was no ejactulation in the vagina, but still potential risk for transmission of HIV or other STDs.  However, it is unlikely your partner has HIV, even if his behavior suggests multiple partnerships -- unless he has especially high risk characteristics on the basis of drug use, past imprisonment, being from an AIDS endemic country, and so on.

Your symptoms sound like those of a minor viral infection and not HIV.  Your doctor didn't apparently suspect HIV as a cause of the problem.  The rash of HIV is generally more widespread than you describe.

HIV testing is always highly reliable at 4-6 weeks; by that time 90-95% of newly infecte people have positive results.  Many experts also recommend testing after 8-12 weeks, to pick up rare cases that take longer to show positive.  But go ahead and get tested now.  Almost certainly it will be negative.  Then you can follow your doctor's (or the testing center's) advice about possible later testing as well.

There was higher risk for other STDs than HIV, and testing for gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis would have been a good idea.  However, the azithromycin (Z-pak) would have cured or prevented any of these infections, so at this point there is no need to test for them.    

I hope this helps.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the HIV - Prevention Forum

Popular Resources
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.