I interpret all that detail to mean you had brief condom-protectedd vaginal sex. Spitting, skin contact to her secretions, and all the rest simply make no difference; they do not increase the already near-zero risk of this event. And the odds are your partner didn't have HIV anyway.
1) Zero for HIV. Some miniscule risk of herpes or HPV. Nothing else.
2) Correct condom use means it is in place when the penis is in the vagina and doesn't break. All sex involves skin-skin genital secretions contact that condoms do not prevent. That's why herpes and HPV remain possible despite condom use, but condoms are 100% protective against HIV.
3) Broken condoms are obvious. If it remained intact, it was effective.
4) I never recommend HIV testing after single low-risk exposures like this one. But if this reassurance isn't adequate to settle your fears (and my experience is that it will not be adequate), have an HIV test 4-6 weeks after the event.
5) I see no reason for you not to continue sex with your wife. But of course I cannot give 100% assurance; nobody can.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
Thanks for the assurance Doctor. I am truely scared and feel guilty about what I have done. I was scared **** before I read the FAQs here and more assured after your response. I am better now, but still far from normalcy.
I think there was nothing wrong with the condom when I ended the vaginal penetration. But is it possible that the condom could have minor cracks or something? About the contact with vaginal secretions, if I understand you correctly, the chances of HIV are negligible, even if it is contact with the penis?
I will live with your assurance because I feel that I am getting freaked out with fear and guilt when actually, the chances of anything happening is very very slim.
Just in case I go for the the tests, what is the type of test that you would recommend? Would it be the Eliza test? I will also go for the STD tests that you recommended.
In the meantime, I would continue to have sex without protection with my wife. Please advice.
Doctor, I must say one more thing. I realize today, how good sex is when it is with love and to add to that, its safe. I also realize how bad is the anxiety and guilt asociated with doing something wrong, even once.
I would appreciate your 're-assurance' on not having HIV. That would be suficient for me and I would try and deal with my guilt (maybe by confessing to my wife, never doing anything like this again, and advicing friends and anybody else, including guys in this forum to never even try to get into pointless sexapades.
Thanks again for this wonderful forum, which gives so much in terms or REAL recommendations.
He didn't really advise you to get any STD testing, did he? Except to allay your anxiety. Re-read what he did say, and you should find plenty to relieve your anxiety.
It might be better to seek out some outside counseling to address your guilt feelings, rather than visit the news on your wife. A counselor could be far more helpful and objective than trying to make yourself feel better by confessing.
If this was truly a one time event, I personally see no reason for your wife to have to deal with this shattering event.
I was also keen to take some counseling. I would surely do it ASAP. Have any suggestions on Counseling Places around New York/ New Jersey?