Welcome to the HIV forum.
You don't say where you are, which would help judge the risk here. But if you are in the US or other industrialized country, the chance you caught HIV is extremely low. HIV is uncommon in commercial sex workers in such countries, well under 1% and usually much lower (although it is easy to gain the opposite impression from the media and other sources. Further, to the extent "escort" implies a relatively upscale, higher priced CSW, the likelihood she had HIV is probably on the order of one chance in 1,000. And when a woman has HIV, the risk of transmission to male partners by unprotected vaginal sex is on the order of 1 in 2,000. (Whether or not there is ejaculation in the vagina makes no difference.)
On those grounds alone, the likelihood you caught HIV is 0.001 x 0.0005 = 0.0000005, i.e. 1 in 2 million. Finally, when a partner provides assurance she is "clean", meaning no HIV infection, usually that information is reliable. People rarely lie about HIV status when asked directly. So your risk actually is probably closer to 1 in a billion.
Therefore, your risk of HIV was too low to even require HIV testing, except that you might want to do it for addtional reassurance despite near-zero risk. And as someone who at least sometimes has sex outside a mutually monogamous relationship, you should have a routine HIV test from time to time, like every 1-2 years. This would be a good time, when it's on your mind -- but not because of this particular event.
These are among the most common questions on this forum. Before posting follow-up comments for clarification or additional details, please spend some time scanning other threads. There are hundreds of discussions.
Regards-- HHH, MD
Thanks Doc, just to ley you know I live in Canada and have genital herpes. If im getting tested how long should I wait?
As I said, read the existing threads about when to be tested. (Since you don't need testing at all, the timing doesn't really matter. But 6-8 weeks after the exposure would be fine.)
Thanks doc, I don't mean to ask the same question, but how come people keep telling me to get tested no matter what? I trust what you say as ab expert, but I;m just scared...what can I do?
Perhaps "some people" (whoever they are) who advise you to get tested "no matter what" do not understand the actual risks. Alternatively, they understand the risks but also understand the same thing I do: that you are so fearful that no amount of verbal reassurance is going to calm your fears. The only thing that will do that is a negative HIV test. So go ahead and get tested for the psychological support it will provide. You can expect a negative result.
Thanks, your right my fear is not allowing me to be rational, does this mean that hiv is usual transmitted after multiple exposures as opposed to a single exposure? Also do you think its safe to have sex with my wife, as I have confessed everything and thankful she is going to stay with me, or should i wait till after 6 weeks and testing? this is my final question thanks for you honest information!
HIV is inefficiently transmitted, and the per-exposure transmission risk is low. But of course the risk rises with increasing numbers of exposures, so yes it is true that most HIV infected people become so only after multiple exposures.
I can't guarantee anyone isn't infected. If I were in your situation, probably I would continue unprotected sex with my wife. But this should be a mutual decision between the two of you.
I know i said that was my last question, but one more sorry doc. Is it possible to create symptoms, from fear and stress. Sorry maybe the wrong place for this question?
" Is it possible to create symptoms, from fear and stress?"
Yes, of course. Stress, anxiety, depression or other psychological problem are the usual causes of many otherwise unexplained symptoms. And when a persons suspects his or her own symptoms have such a cause, usually s/he is correct. Talk about it with your primary health care provider. I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.
That's all for this thread. I won't have any further replies.
I know you said no further replies, but I was hoping for one last reply? Does me having herpes increase the risk? I wasn't having a breakout!
This question has been answered hundreds of times. Use the search link and try entering terms like "herpes, HIV". Having herpes roughly doubles the risk of HIV if exposed, whether or not an outbreak is present, but it usually makes no important difference in situations like yours. (Double a very low risk still is very low risk.)
You may not post anything else on this thread. The answer to this question would have been easy to find, since it has bee to any other questions you might have
I know I'm not suppose to ask an more questions, but I can't get myself to go in to get tested. Why am I so scared, the odds are in my favour but I feel like the test will come out positive, and my life is over. I can't do anything, I haven't done anything with my wife now for 3months...but I need to get it done, is it foolish to not get a test at all!