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Unprotected sex several times with same person
Hi doctors,
I have a question regarding possible HIV transmission in an encounter I recently had. I'm a heterosexual white male and briefly dated (1-2 months) a heterosexual white female and had unprotected vaginal sex 7-8 times throughout the course of dating. The last exposure was 31 days ago and we didn't know it until we were done but she started menstruating which freaks me out even more. She says she is "clean" and there's nothing to worry about. She routinely gets examined and is on birth control.
Well now I'm panicking because I've decided to get back together with my ex girlfriend and I'm terrified That I'm going to give her something. Before this encounter I was in a monogamous relationship for many years which I want to rekindle now but I'm scared to because of fear of infecting her. I can't tell her about this because it would ruin our relationship.
My main questions are as follows:
1. Considering we had sex 7-8 times what are my chances of catching HIV? Is 7-8 exposures significantly mathematically more likely to result in infection versus just one time exposure?
2. Would menstruation affect these chances?
3. Do you recommend testing because I'm terrified to do so? (I know that's completely irrational)
4. Should I just move on with this and not worry about giving my new partner anything? (Ive had no symptoms of anything whatsoever)
I have a question regarding possible HIV transmission in an encounter I recently had. I'm a heterosexual white male and briefly dated (1-2 months) a heterosexual white female and had unprotected vaginal sex 7-8 times throughout the course of dating. The last exposure was 31 days ago and we didn't know it until we were done but she started menstruating which freaks me out even more. She says she is "clean" and there's nothing to worry about. She routinely gets examined and is on birth control.
Well now I'm panicking because I've decided to get back together with my ex girlfriend and I'm terrified That I'm going to give her something. Before this encounter I was in a monogamous relationship for many years which I want to rekindle now but I'm scared to because of fear of infecting her. I can't tell her about this because it would ruin our relationship.
My main questions are as follows:
1. Considering we had sex 7-8 times what are my chances of catching HIV? Is 7-8 exposures significantly mathematically more likely to result in infection versus just one time exposure?
2. Would menstruation affect these chances?
3. Do you recommend testing because I'm terrified to do so? (I know that's completely irrational)
4. Should I just move on with this and not worry about giving my new partner anything? (Ive had no symptoms of anything whatsoever)
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
It would provide modest reassurance, but not as much as a negative blood test. The oral fluids test is the least reliable in detecting early infection. At one month after the last exposure, a negative result is around 80% reliable. The blood tests are more like 90-95% at that time. Or seek out a duo test, for both HIV antibody and antigen; it's 100% reliable at 4 weeks.
My advice is to not screw around with the less reliable test. Visit a doctor or clinic for proper testing. Suck it up and just do it.
My advice is to not screw around with the less reliable test. Visit a doctor or clinic for proper testing. Suck it up and just do it.
Thank you Doctor Handsfield. Last question I promise. Would a negative oraquick swab test provide any sort of reassurance at this time? I'm going to get the lab based test but I'm so nervous that I want to take the oraquick first if will provide any diagnostic value
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Obviously, your frequency of testing is irrelevant in regard exposures since the last time you were tested. My advice is the same -- and I would especially recommend testing if you think your transient partner has been sexually active with others in the past year or so. You were nervous enough to come to this forum to ask the question -- that alone implies you'll worry about this until and unless you know for sure you don't have anything. However, as I said, it's up to you.
I know it's irrational as I was tested for everything before I started that brief relationship. I usually get tested about twice a year and I'm always in monogamous relationships. I don't know why I'm so freaked out this time. Probably due to guilt. Do you still recommend testing even knowing my usual frequency of tests?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.
This sounds like a low risk situation. Most women know their bodies pretty well; if your ex-partner believes she is "clean", i.e. has no active STDs, that's probably correct.
That said, there are no guarantees and I think it would be a good idea for you to visit a doctor or clinic for a routine exam and testing (e.g., your local health department or a Planned Parenthood clinic, where you can be sure of STD expertise and experience). The only tests necessary in this situation are a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia and blood tests for HIV and syphilis. In the absence of symptoms, all other STDs are too unlikely for testing to be necessary. You could also ask your ex partner to be re-tested at the same time; if her tests are negative, then you will know for sure you were not exposed.
To your specific questions:
1) The chance of HIV in this situation is 1 in a million, tops. The chance a partner like yours has HIV is nearly zero.
2) Many couples consider it entirely normal to have sex during menstruation. It does not significantly increase the risk of HIV or other STDs.
3) See above. Your feelings about testing indeed are irrational. Just do it. It isn't the test that makes a person infected; you have it or you don't. Research shows that when people delay testing because they fear a positive result, anxiety declines after testing -- even when a result is positive. The stress of a positive result is less than that from worrying about it ahead of time.
4) The odds you have anything are low, and you probably could safely resume sex when you return to your prior relationship. But as I said, there are no guarantees; professional evaluation and testing is the only way to know for sure. And perhaps your new/ex partner should be tested as well, if she has had other partners while you were apart.
I hope this information has been helpful. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
This sounds like a low risk situation. Most women know their bodies pretty well; if your ex-partner believes she is "clean", i.e. has no active STDs, that's probably correct.
That said, there are no guarantees and I think it would be a good idea for you to visit a doctor or clinic for a routine exam and testing (e.g., your local health department or a Planned Parenthood clinic, where you can be sure of STD expertise and experience). The only tests necessary in this situation are a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia and blood tests for HIV and syphilis. In the absence of symptoms, all other STDs are too unlikely for testing to be necessary. You could also ask your ex partner to be re-tested at the same time; if her tests are negative, then you will know for sure you were not exposed.
To your specific questions:
1) The chance of HIV in this situation is 1 in a million, tops. The chance a partner like yours has HIV is nearly zero.
2) Many couples consider it entirely normal to have sex during menstruation. It does not significantly increase the risk of HIV or other STDs.
3) See above. Your feelings about testing indeed are irrational. Just do it. It isn't the test that makes a person infected; you have it or you don't. Research shows that when people delay testing because they fear a positive result, anxiety declines after testing -- even when a result is positive. The stress of a positive result is less than that from worrying about it ahead of time.
4) The odds you have anything are low, and you probably could safely resume sex when you return to your prior relationship. But as I said, there are no guarantees; professional evaluation and testing is the only way to know for sure. And perhaps your new/ex partner should be tested as well, if she has had other partners while you were apart.
I hope this information has been helpful. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
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