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hiv/std questions

Dear Dr,
1stly many thanks for all your assistance in helping me cope with fear/stress after having exposures previously!
i went thru very difficult periods over the last few years thinking that i am exposed/caught hiv or std...
i am a male, i am very paranoid even getting worried if a women touches me(thinking that i could get hiv)
anyway, after each contact with a women i tend to go for numerous hiv tes- to date i have done 30 hiv and std test!!!
i am at this point seeing a women ( i met in a club) and have confessed that she slept around many many time!! but i cant help keeping away..... i would like to know the following to ease my mind-
1)can deep/ french kissing cause hiv/std.. with all the worst scenario- bleeding gums etc...(with/without noticing sores)
2)can mutual masterbation cause hiv/std- example me fingering her- worst scenario-bleeding finger or she having sores
3)can unprotected oral sex cause hiv/std- both me giving and receiving
4) can protected oral(with condom) sex 100% prevent getting hiv/std
5) with condom,if exposed area of shaft and balls is exposed to saliva or virginal fluid risky
6) Can protected virginal sex(with condom) prevent me 100% from getting hiv/std
7) how does the hiv or std virus enters a persons body during oral and virginal sex and anal sex
8) i would assume that a women with hiv breast feeding or not would not be able to spread hiv to anyone in contact with her breast other than the baby. is this true.
9) can a person during window period still spread hiv. (assuming it is going to be positive by the end of 3months) can that person infect others lets say, during the 1 week to 3rd month- althought the test in between were negative.

Thanks for your patience.. and appreciate your advice.
1 Responses
239123 tn?1267651214
Welcome back to the forum.  But with all due respect, it is not the purpose of this forum to provide psychological counseling, especially when someone recognizes his or her own inappropriate and irrational fears.  The level of anxiety your feel about HIV and other STDs despite your intellectual knowledge that the risk was minimal to zero is not normal, and both the compulsive testing and your need to seek our support also indicate a mental health problem that needs attention.  A forum like this is not an adequate substitute for that and we cannot provide that service.

The odds are strong that your new partner doesn't have HIV.  But even if she does, the direct answers to your questions are: 1) No.  2) No. 3) Possibly yes, but oral sex is almost zero risk for HIV and low risk for other STDs. 4) Yes. 5) No risk. 6) 100% protection against HIV and most STDs, less complete protection against herpes and HPV. 7) Too complex a question; do your homework by reading other information sites.  8) True; even the baby often doesn't catch the virus. 9) HIV can be transmitted during the window period if there is an unprotected sexual exposure.   All these questions have been discussed many times on the forum; use the search link if you need more details.

Please seek the psychological care you so badly need.  I suggest on it out of compassion, not criticism.  I will be happy to take a brief follow-up comment/question after you have obtained that care and report back on the provider's advice and the treatment you are under.  Until then, no comments will be accepted and I will have no further replies.  Finally, please note that MedHelp permits no more than 2 questions every 6 months on the professionally moderated forums (see Terms and Conditions).


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