sure i have hiv, thinking of suicide..

[sleepless8523]

ok so heres what happened:

i went to a FKK club in Germany 16 days ago and had sex with 5 different girls. unprotected oral sex and protected vaginal intercourse (the girls were all romanian)

10 days ago i had unprotected sex with my girlfriend (i know what i am for cheating, wish i could turn back time every second)

9 days ago i felt burning while peeing and and discharge so i thought to go and have myself a full test although i thought it was probably gonorrhoea or chlamidya.

5 days ago i had myself tested (about a week after exposure including hiv duo test) at which point the lymph nodes in my groin were very swollen and tender. doctor also started me on antibiotics as she saw the discharge

Today the lymph nodes in my groin are still swollen and painful, i had a sore throat yesterday (which left today) and have been feeling very flushed although i dont have a temperature. I have a sore back and slight diarrhoea. I also feel the lymph nodes in my armpits, ears and neck although they aren't nearly as swollen as my groin which is really bad.

My test results came back positive for gonorrhoea and negative for everything else (i know 7 days is not reliable at all for a hiv test)

I still wasn't that concerned up to this point as i thought it was due to the gonnorhea or something. This is when something awful happened. My girlfriend called me and told me she has a maculo-papular type rash all over her face and chest (started 2 days ago 8 days after her possible exposure) my world collapsed and i want to kill myself as i am sure i have infected her with hiv. I honestly dont care about myself she is all that matters. Please tell me there is some hope...

[Edward W Hook, MD]

A person must have virus in their blood to infect another person. Antibodies quickly follow the presence of HIV in the blood.  If you had sufficient virus in your blood to infect your partner, you would have had a positive antibody test several days later.  EWH

[sleepless8523]

sorry i didnt quite understand how do you mean a hiv test would be positive if i infected her?, could i not infect her if i had not seroconverted yet? the timeline is exactly like this:

unprotected sex with my gf 8 days after possible exposure
my first symptoms: 9 days after my possible exposure
her first symptoms 9 days after her possible exposure

ofcourse i will tell her about the gonorrhoea as soon as possible i dont want to jeopardise her health anymore than i have..

[Edward W Hook, MD]

As I explained, this is far more likely to be coincidence than anything else.  If you had transmitted HIV to her, a standard HIV test would be positive at this time. Test yourself to prove to yourself that you did not get HIV from the exposures you described (I am already confident that you do not).  Then do the right thing and tell her that when you last had sex you exposed her to gonorrhea and that she should be treated.  To do otherwise does jeapordize her health.  EWH

[sleepless8523]

thanks for your reply, i havent had the chance to talk to her about the gonorrhoea as we are in different countries now so she is not on any medications. it just seemed to me that all these symptoms together (even if mine is down to anxiety) cant be pure chance. apparently her rash is quite bad..

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum.  The chance that you acquired HIV, transmitted it to your partner and then she developed the acute retroviral syndrome (ARS) is incredibly low for a long list of reasons.  These include:

1.  If the brothel you went to inGermany was licensed, the women working there are, by law, checked regularly for HIV.  If not, HIV is nonetheless quite rare in heterosexual women.

2.  Your exposures were virtually no risk for HIV.  Condom protected sex is safe sex and there has never been a case of proven HIV transmission for receipt of oral sex or performance of cunnilingus on an infected woman.

3.  The timeline is too short for you to get HIV, transmit it, and your GF to develop symptoms.

4.  When it has been studied, less than 1% of person's with "classical" ARS turn out to have HIV.  The remainder has other viral illnesses, drug allergy, etc.  I suspect that this is what is going on with your GF.

Try not to worry.  BTW, I presume that your GF has been treated for her exposure to your gonorrhea.  If so, she may be having a drug reaction.

I hope these comments are helpful. EWH