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HIV Reactive

Doc, I had an HIV Testing done and it came back HIV REACTIVE, the problem I have is what exactly what do it means, do I have Aids? I have requested a second testing and will be done in 5 weeks, I had some unsafe sex with a few  men and they said they were married and I know that was stupied on my part, I was the bottom in each sex encounter, The reason I had the HIV Test done was I started losing a few pounds of weight and thought maybe I had caught something during several operations at our local hospital. My wife and I haven't had sex in several years, is there a way she can catch HIV from me, I am so scared to tell her for if I do my marriage is over, something I should have thought about before having the sexual encounter. My doctor doesn't seem to worried about this, should I be, You don't have to worry about me having sex with anyone. I'm worried about myself and my wife. Please tell me what is happening concering the HIV Reactive and if my wife safe??? Thanks..Joe
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480448 tn?1426948538
First of all....I know this is a hard time for the both of you, to accept a new diagnosis like this.  I really wish there was a way you both felt comfortable confiding in your family, as it isnt something you will be able to hide forever, nor is it healthy to do so.

I know there is sadly still a big stigma surrounding HIV, but you also have to understand that with the advances in medicine, the prognosis for HIV isn't anything like it used to be.

With proper medical supervision, and medications when recommended by your doctor, you can live a totally normal life span.  You need to be under the care of an "Infectious Diseases" physician.  These are the docs that are the experts in treating HIV.

Also...I would highly highly recommend psychological counselling to help you to deal with this...and to talk with a therapist about confiding in your loved ones.  It is inevitible, and I think you'd be surprised that people would MUCH rather hear it from YOU in a timely manner...than to somehow find out from a 3rd party, or as a result of perhaps you becoming ill.  Imagine them finding out YEARS later...there would be much more hurt and a betrayal feeling rather than if you tell them now.  

Maleman, if I remember correctly, you are married, right?  Did you possibly place your wife at risk?  If so, she NEEDS to know so that she can be properly tested.  Even if she wasn't placed at risk...you really have a responsibility to tell her, as she needs to have the information so SHE can make an informed decision about how to proceed from here on out...what risks she is comfortable taking.  You have a responsibility to do that.  And, that goes for anyone...in any type of sexual relationship.

As for...can you ever have sex again?  Of course you can.  CONDOMS WORK. When used consistently and correctly for anal or vaginal sex...they are 100% effective against HIV.  However, that's where disclosure to your partner is vital.  There is always a chance, no matter how careful you are that a condom can fail.  Your partner needs to decide for him/herself what kinds of risks he or she is willing to take.

And....you cannot transmit HIV just by living with someone and being in casual contact with them.  You cannot get HIV by sharing a drinking glass, by kissing, by living in the same house or sleeping in the same bed.  HIV is a "sexually transmitted disease" and it is classified as such for a reason.

This is a great site, you will receive great input from others here...especially teak, who has lived it.....he is a perfect example of the success stories that are common these days with HIV infection.  Has it been an easy road for him?  I doubt it....you'd have to ask him...but he is a great resource to finding out about HIV treatment, and the disease itself.

Life will certainly change for you both, that's obvious.  But, it doesn't mean it won't be GOOD.  You just have to now live your life with a disease, like you would live your life if you had diabetes, or any other illness.  You treat the disease, and take care of yourself...do all the right things as recommended by your doctor, and you can expect to live a pretty normal life.

Getting into an HIV support group where you can talk with other infected people is a great idea also.  It will take away that feeling of "being alone", especially b/c both of you haven't really turned to anyone about this.  I think you both should look into that.  Even if you find an online forum (teak would be able to recommend a good one)...you need the support from people in your shoes.

Take Care.
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Avatar universal
Thanks for emailing me, I guess I can never have sex again either, I tried to find an answer to that question but so far I haven't gotton one, The people who work or answer questions on this site are very good at answering all your questions especially Teak, but there are others. I am no where close of being an expert on this subjuct. I also feel my life has change and almost thought of ending my life a few weeks ago but after talking to Teak and others on this site, I sorta had to get an positive outlook, I too can't tell my family about this, but I have a close friend or two and talk to them, can't really tell to many people out there for alot are stupied when it comes to HIV+. People to include myself and you need to do alot more reading on this subject so we can become educated on HIV+ and Aids. Please talk to some of these people on this site and they will help you they know alot especially on the subject of HIV+. Hope to hear back from you later.
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Avatar universal
Look I'm very sorry I understand now where to list my questions.
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480448 tn?1426948538
Like you've been told before...you need to be posting in the "Living With HIV" forum...you're already diagnosed HIV+, this forum is for people who want a risk assessment.
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186166 tn?1385259382
DO NOT KEEP BRINGING UP THIS POST ! ! !

KEEP YOUR QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS ON THE LIVING WITH FORUM.
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Avatar universal
Since I have am HIV+,and waiting on my blood test to come back is my sex life over with either vaginal/anal intercourse or can I use pretection and still have some sex?
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186166 tn?1385259382
THIS IS NOT THE CORRECT FORUM FOR YOU TO BE POSTING IN.  KEEP YOUR COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS IN THE LIVING WITH FORUM.
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Avatar universal
Right now they say I have HIV-Positive, I am waiting on a blood test to come back, why do you think they took another blood test? are the trying to find out how far along I am with the HIV and what medication they are going to give me. I have read that just because I am HIV-postive and if I take my medication I may never have fully blown Aids is that correct if you know.
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186166 tn?1385259382
hiv is transmitted through...

unprotected vaginal/anal intercourse
sharing iv drug works
mother to child
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Avatar universal
Is there any way my wife can catch the HIV from me besides sex, I have read alot of stuff about HIV since beeing told I have it and with all your help. i.e. like washing our clothes, cleaning, drinking out of the same cup, you know just touching things I might have touched?
I am still waiting for the blood test to come back from the VA, don't know why it takes so long for the results. I don't mind taking medications as long as there isn't a hand full. Again thanks for your help.
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Avatar universal
Thanks Teak
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Avatar universal
ASO are not located in the Health Departments. They are located in the Infectious disease clinics at major hospitals. Your Infectious Disease doctor will advise you of everything you need to know.
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Avatar universal
I would only add that there may also be HIV case management services with your county health department that may help set you up with a nutritionist. I wish you the best.
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Avatar universal
Take it back to the Living With Forum and discuss it with your Infectious Disease doctor.
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Avatar universal
Do you know if there are any special foods I can eat to help my CD4 Cell (T-cell) that I can eat to help to keep the high or snything I can do special to do this. Thanks
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Avatar universal
Thanks for your help I will check it out.
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Avatar universal
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Avatar universal
Teak you have really been great in answerin alot of my questions and I have appreciated everything you have told me. I just wish there were people out there like you to help new people who have been informed they have HIV-postive, But what is "Take it to the Living With Forum", I not just asking a silly question I'm just trying to find information from people I can talk to and ask question and I feel you are one of the most knowledge guys on this site. So is your answer just a smart answer or is there such a place.
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Avatar universal
Take it to the Living With Forum.
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Avatar universal
Thanks for all the great advice, dang I just hope I can be and do all the things you mention.
(1) Does HIV-postive effective an older person as myself more than a younger person?
(2) Is there a lot of medications that I have to take?
(3) My biggest fear is telling my wife about this for she will just fall apart, especially knowing I have had sex with a woman or man, that more fear than having HIV-positive, something I should have thought about first.
Hope to hear back from you later. Joe
Helpful - 0
794412 tn?1240127351
Diarrhea can be caused by many things, not just hiv, but stress and anxiety are some of the number one causes, my suggestion to you to try and relax, whats done is done, now you must figure out what the best way to deal with it will be,#1 find something to do, so your not constanly thinking about negative things ,exersise is good for that #2 I know its going to be hard but try not to be scared, put yours fears aside and be strong about the situation, and realize there are many people that are going through the same thing, and its important to do your best to keep a good out look and talk to other people who have the same struggles, this will help you to keep your strength and show you that your not alone, maybe if you want to , you can learn about this disease share your experinces and later on help others in your situation, BE STRONG BROTHER! LIFE IS HARD SOMETIMES ITS HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT, THAT MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE! HANG IN THERE!  IMPROVISE, ADAPT , OVERCOME!
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Avatar universal
I really appreciate your reply and its help alot. But what about the diarrhea, do you think it has anything to do with HIV-Reactive, I have had it for several years. Again thanks for answering my email
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794412 tn?1240127351
People with hiv these days are living long healthy lives, but it is really up to you to follow up closely with your doctors and take the prescribed medications, which you might not have to take for several years, depending on your t-cell count, the best best thing you can do is to learn everything you can about the disease, so you will be prepared for any situation, pertaning to it, if indeed you have it, remmember it is up to "you" to take care of your self and change certian things in your life style to maintain a healthy body... good luck and god bless... and please whatever happens remmember it is very important to keep a good attitude!
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Avatar universal
Thank both of you for your advice, What about diarrhea does it have anything to do with HIV.
So I see I must be HIV-positive, the doctor took several bottles of blood from me, is there a way when they think I could have gotton the HIV.
Since I am HIV-Reactive (positive) does this mean I have the Aids Virus or if I'm not treated I could get Aids. Please answer these questions for me
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