Hi - thanks for replying. My partner is someone that I have known for 6 years, from work. He is married white male, and I am a married white female. I feel tremendous guilt over cheating on my husband and have been unable to eat or act normal, which is probably where a lot of this is coming from. I had unprotected sex with this man once and four months later tested for STDs and HIV and everything came back negative. We then had sex 2 more times, fully protected vaginal, and with oral I did not allow him to finish, so he never came near my mouth or genitals, nor did his genitals touch mine. My doctor wanted me to test again because she said you need to test for everything every time you have sex, even if it is safe sex, 6 months later. I realize she is being conservative, but I am still nervous. My partner (who is no longer my partner - I broke up with him to concentrate on my own marriage) claims that he only occasionally sleeps with his wife and me, that is it, and has not been tested in awhile but does not think he has anything! I really hope he is right. He does fall into the lowest risk category (white male, never incarcerated, does not use IV drugs or have sex with men, ever) so I am hoping all of these things combined make it statistically near impossible for me to have contracted anything from him, especially HIV. Now that you know more, what do you think?
No you don't have to test for everything "everytime" you have sex. it is just not practical, especially if it is a trustworthy mutually monogamous relationship you are having.
But, what your doctor said also has its merits, in that sexually active individuals who have sexual relations (oral, vaginal, anal - whether protected or not protected) outside of a mutually monogamous relationship, should have regular std and hiv screenings done on an annual or bi-annual basis to make sure you are fine and nothing is up.
Hope i have been of some help
May God bless
Ok, I am extremely scared now. Obviously it is not a mutually monogamous relationship that I have - I cheated on my husband with another married man. So I am literally dying inside over the guilt of that. I don't understand all of the inconsistent messaging between doctors on this forum and the doctors that I see (some of them). If what bentheredonethat is saying is true, and what other doctors on the forum are saying, condom protected vaginal sex that did not have a condom failure is virtually 100% safe for HIV/Chlamydia and some others, while it is not very safe for HSV/Warts since that can result from any skin to skin contact even if most of the penis is covered by a condom. Maybe I should start calling my doctor for results today...Please pray for me. I did something very wrong like cheat on my husband which I fully regret, but I am trying to make it right now. I hope I didn't ruin everything.
Update: I just spoke to my doc. All bloodwork (HIV, HSV 1-2, Syphyllis and whatever else, I was mainly just worried about HIV so I kinda stopped listening after that) came back NEGATIVE!!! So now I am just waiting on the cultures for Gon & Chlamyd) but those are CURABLE so even if I have them, I can treat them, but now given these results, I doubt it. I am going to have the best weekend ever. Thank you everyone for your support :) :)
What can i say.............. Congratulations!!!!
Yes, i can fully understand your regret and guilt. You just take a look at what my nickname is, and you would know.
May God bless
Oh, after all of that, I am back. Because of one thing - this yeast infection thing that started 2 weeks ago (exactly 2 weeks after my last encounter, which was protected vag sex and unprotected oral with this same guy). It was so mild - just a redness on labia, that I thought it was something else. I went to my doc and she said it looked like a mild yeast infection, but took cultures and they came back normal. I had taken the difulcan pill and didn't really notice anything, I felt mostly fine except for the occassional redness and some tingling. I went back to the doctor - which is the one who tested me for everything (this is now 23 days after) and she said it looks like the remnants of a yeast infection, so I started using the medicated 7 day treatment - here I am on day 5 and STILL having these tingling feelings!!! I read on thebody about yeast infections indicating HIV in women especially if they are persistant or recurrant. So now I am more terrified that ever before that this thing is just NOT clearing up. I am planning to get a 6 week and 8 week test, and if they are negative I will feel much better. After this encounter - NO ARS symptoms, just this stupid yeast infection (which doesn't even feel like a major one). What do you think of this? When I posted in the expert STD forum the doctor had a comment about yeast infections being normal but he would worry (about something) if they kept occurring. Mine is more like it won't really go away :( HELP ME! I have held off on having sex with my husband for over 4 weeks now. I don't know what more I can do...I have 12 more days of waiting for the 6w test.